Why do people always let me down? - HotUKDeals
We use cookie files to improve site functionality and personalisation. By continuing to use HUKD, you accept our cookie and privacy policy.
Get the HUKD app free at Google Play

Search Error

An error occurred when searching, please try again!

Login / Sign UpSubmit

Why do people always let me down?

mamamia7 Avatar
7y, 5m agoPosted 7 years, 5 months ago
im having a whinge today..just wondering why i never let anyone down and am very reliable when anyone needs help or something doing. But when it comes to me needing help everyone lets me down!!!So annoyed...rant over
Other Links From Always:
mamamia7 Avatar
7y, 5m agoPosted 7 years, 5 months ago
Options

All Comments

(35) Jump to unreadPost a comment
Comments/page:
banned#1
expect nothing, then you wont be let down, well thats the way i look at it - lol
#2
http://www.hiddenartshop.com/shopimages/products/normal/RC_NotDoormat_large.jpg
#3
http://hotukdeals.com/forums/customavatars/avatar130893_4.gif Give em the finger and move on :p
#4
JasonAJB
http://hotukdeals.com/forums/customavatars/avatar130893_4.gif Give em the finger and move on :p


cant really when its my partners family..lol..think that would cause a big upset!!
#5
you can't expect everyone else to be as conscientious as you. You have to learn to accept that you won't ever be treated the way you would like to be.
#6
Don't be so helpful to them if they are not helpful in return. Maybe they won't take you for granted so much.
#7
SunTzu
you can't expect everyone else to be as conscientious as you. You have to learn to accept that you won't ever be treated the way you would like to be.


this is very true.
#8
I'm sorry to hear you feel let down hon... what has happened to make you feel this?
#9
mamamia7
cant really when its my partners family..lol..think that would cause a big upset!!


Ooh that probably would cause more trouble then solve it :p

SassyB
Don't be so helpful to them if they are not helpful in return. Maybe they won't take you for granted so much.


Its hard to not be as helpful when its simply in your nature, getting taken for granted happens to the best of us.
banned#10
maybe look at it in the way you allow yourself to be let down, you expect and dont get, so it is you that lets yourself down, expect nothing then you wont let yourself down
#11
sassie
maybe look at it in the way you allow yourself to be let down, you expect and dont get, so it is you that lets yourself down, expect nothing then you wont let yourself down


I should know that by now..but i always look on the bright side..i always get my hopes up..lol! I have organised my daughters christening sent the invites out ages ago and only now people are saying they cant come. One is going on holiday..one travelling..one is moving..one hasnt booked time off work. Also i help people out with there wedding food..doing the brides hair..peoples birthday food and yet they cant bring any food to help me out. Is it too unreasonable after paying and booking a venue afterwards to ask family to help out and bring food?!My sister in law doesnt have alot of money so i dont mind that but the others dont have time yet i always have time for them. I cant say never again will i help someone as its not in my nature.
banned#12
mamamia7
I should know that by now..but i always look on the bright side..i always get my hopes up..lol! I have organised my daughters christening sent the invites out ages ago and only now people are saying they cant come. One is going on holiday..one travelling..one is moving..one hasnt booked time off work. Also i help people out with there wedding food..doing the brides hair..peoples birthday food and yet they cant bring any food to help me out. Is it too unreasonable after paying and booking a venue afterwards to ask family to help out and bring food?!My sister in law doesnt have alot of money so i dont mind that but the others dont have time yet i always have time for them. I cant say never again will i help someone as its not in my nature.


enjoy the company of those that attend, not worry about those who dont :thumbsup:
#13
mamamia7
I should know that by now..but i always look on the bright side..i always get my hopes up..lol! I have organised my daughters christening sent the invites out ages ago and only now people are saying they cant come. One is going on holiday..one travelling..one is moving..one hasnt booked time off work. Also i help people out with there wedding food..doing the brides hair..peoples birthday food and yet they cant bring any food to help me out. Is it too unreasonable after paying and booking a venue afterwards to ask family to help out and bring food?!My sister in law doesnt have alot of money so i dont mind that but the others dont have time yet i always have time for them. I cant say never again will i help someone as its not in my nature.


Oh I understand what you mean hon, there is always so much inequalities in families and relationships with others.

My OH's sister, you'd think her child was made of gold the way my OH's parents value her over and above all of our kids. I had to put my foot down and say enough is enough when it started upsetting my 11yr old as they were literally ignoring all her needs in favour of the other grandchild. So unfair.
#14
sassie
enjoy the company of those that attend, not worry about those who dont :thumbsup:


Very true..just feel upset as its for my daughter..wouldnt mind if it was just for me..i know she doesnt understand but she only gets christened once and wanted it to be a memorable occasion with all her friends and family.
#15
mamamia7
Very true..just feel upset as its for my daughter..wouldnt mind if it was just for me..i know she doesnt understand but she only gets christened once and wanted it to be a memorable occasion with all her friends and family.


how old is she hon, does she realise whats going on?
#16
no she is only 18 months but not good looking back in her photos saying wheres auntie smith and auntie jones...why did no one turn up..lol. I might be looking into this too much just upset people think its ok to let someone down.
banned#17
mamamia7
no she is only 18 months but not good looking back in her photos saying wheres auntie smith and auntie jones...why did no one turn up..lol. I might be looking into this too much just upset people think its ok to let someone down.


then you tell her because they where away, couldnt get time off work etc,etc to be honest if there that much of a let down then i would imagine your daughter will know this as she is growing up, there have been people in all our lives who are like this, but we all grow up to know whats what and who is who :thumbsup:
#18
mamamia7
no she is only 18 months but not good looking back in her photos saying wheres auntie smith and auntie jones...why did no one turn up..lol. I might be looking into this too much just upset people think its ok to let someone down.


Sweetheart, I don't think you're over reacting at all.

Your little one is too young to feel slighted herself in any way. You can express plenty of positive comments to her when looking back on the photos...

" it was very intimate..."
" we were blessed to have you and to see you blessed in this way"

I do understand that these people have let you down, but your child wont suffer for them doing this so don't feel too badly x x
#19
sassie
then you tell her because they where away, couldnt get time off work etc,etc to be honest if there that much of a let down then i would imagine your daughter will know this as she is growing up, there have been people in all our lives who are like this, but we all grow up to know whats what and who is who :thumbsup:


very true!
1 Like #20
Did you actually ask for help for the party? and when you give help do you just barge in and take over or are you asked?..we have a friend that is helpful to the point of annoyance and if you try and do anything nice for her she always refuses it and trys to be a martyr, so we still let her organise and don't bother asking if she needs anything cos the answer is always no. But when she has had a few she crys that she does everything for everyone and no one does stuff for her.
#21
I am sure the day will be lovely - even if some of your relatives can't go! All the photo's of the relatives that are there will be a treasured memory too.

I hope that the people who can't go send lovely cards expressing wishes - they are lovely keepsakes too - and it is the keepsakes that your little one will look back on, as she won't remember the day.
#22
ClarityofMind
Sweetheart, I don't think you're over reacting at all.

Your little one is too young to feel slighted herself in any way. You can express plenty of positive comments to her when looking back on the photos...

" it was very intimate..."
" we were blessed to have you and to see you blessed in this way"

I do understand that these people have let you down, but your child wont suffer for them doing this so don't feel too badly x x


I know..i just want the best for my daughter this happened on her first bday too..people didnt turn up...people didnt make any effort.I just feel she is gonna have alot of disappointment in her life when it comes to certain people. The only people who listen to me..respect any wishes when it comes to my daughter and help me whenever they can are my family(oh and sister in law). Thanks for your wise words..trust me im gonna make sure we have a fantastic day for her regardless of who turns up and will have the pics to prove it x
banned#23
mamamia7
I know..i just want the best for my daughter this happened on her first bday too..people didnt turn up...people didnt make any effort.I just feel she is gonna have alot of disappointment in her life when it comes to certain people. The only people who listen to me..respect any wishes when it comes to my daughter and help me whenever they can are my family(oh and sister in law). Thanks for your wise words..trust me im gonna make sure we have a fantastic day for her regardless of who turns up and will have the pics to prove it x


the only dissapointment she will have is if you allow people to let her down, she is a kid, make no excuses for anyone, kids realise very quickly who is worthy of their love and respect
#24
queenlush
Did you actually ask for help for the party? and when you give help do you just barge in and take over or are you asked?..we have a friend that is helpful to the point of annoyance and if you try and do anything nice for her she always refuses it and trys to be a martyr, so we still let her organise and don't bother asking if she needs anything cos the answer is always no. But when she has had a few she crys that she does everything for everyone and no one does stuff for her.


ha ha. No i did ask for help and replied nicely to all people who have said they cant help/cant go... im not a rude person. When i give help i always ask first and never take over just do my bit. Maybe your friend really does want help but too proud to accept?..but what can you do if she says no.
#25
mamamia7
I know..i just want the best for my daughter this happened on her first bday too..people didnt turn up...people didnt make any effort.I just feel she is gonna have alot of disappointment in her life when it comes to certain people. The only people who listen to me..respect any wishes when it comes to my daughter and help me whenever they can are my family(oh and sister in law). Thanks for your wise words..trust me im gonna make sure we have a fantastic day for her regardless of who turns up and will have the pics to prove it x


If I were you, the people who you feel may cause your daughter disappointment in the future I would be distancing myself slightly from them, not completely, you know, but just not allowing them the space to cause any disappointment if you know what I mean.
#26
sassie
the only dissapointment she will have is if you allow people to let her down, she is a kid, make no excuses for anyone, kids realise very quickly who is worthy of their love and respect


Trust me i intend to hide anything like that from my daughter and have done already. I wont let anyone hurt her..she is my everything.But unfortunately I just cant cut these people out of her life.
#27
ClarityofMind
If I were you, the people who you feel may cause your daughter disappointment in the future I would be distancing myself slightly from them, not completely, you know, but just not allowing them the space to cause any disappointment if you know what I mean.


Yeap great advice... also for your own friendships sometimes too. My husband has tried to teach me to do this as I had friends who put in alot less effort than I did.. putting it nicely.

I guess it's a kind of risk management / damage limitation exercise
banned#28
mamamia7
Trust me i intend to hide anything like that from my daughter and have done already. I wont let anyone hurt her..she is my everything.But unfortunately I just cant cut these people out of her life.


you shouldnt hide anything, thats where the disappointment comes in
#29
ClarityofMind
If I were you, the people who you feel may cause your daughter disappointment in the future I would be distancing myself slightly from them, not completely, you know, but just not allowing them the space to cause any disappointment if you know what I mean.


Thats exactly what i do. My family adore her and show her enough love for everyone and she does spend more time with them..surely they wonder why that is?! im not saying the others dont love her..they just are not quick enough to show it or do anything for her. I dont get respected as her mum and they often go ahead and do things when i have said no.They think they know whats best for her.
#30
mamamia7
ha ha. No i did ask for help and replied nicely to all people who have said they cant help/cant go... im not a rude person. When i give help i always ask first and never take over just do my bit. Maybe your friend really does want help but too proud to accept?..but what can you do if she says no.


Then i think they are a rotten lot :x xx but as others have said it's your childs special day and the ones that are there count for everything. No my friend really does like to be the martyr...lol it's more complicated than i'm portraying it on here. It gets her "man attention" she is superwoman
#31
What do you intend to do about the party? Would you prefer not to be let down? If yes, what are you going to do about that?
#32
windhoek
What do you intend to do about the party? Would you prefer not to be let down? If yes, what are you going to do about that?


i cant make the people come so cant do anything about that. But as for the food i will do it all myself..just would of appreciated help from the family. They are quick enough to ask me for help.Anyhow i intend on making it a lovely day for my daughter.
#33
Below is a link to a short vid on youtube about transactional analysis (TA): it's an easy to understand technique that can improve the way we live our lives. I found it very useful.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2ScDQx5ndw
#34
I think you will find a lot people feel the same way as you do and the best way to deal with this is just not to rely on others and to do everything yourself and nothing for others in long run.
I've bent over backwards for some,and well some just never seem to help themselves.
#35
i kow exactly how you feel hum, ive been used by so many people i just lost it with them now only have a couple of friends and dont talk to most of my side of the family but do i miss them....not really its nice to have a lot of friends and family but whats the point if all it does is upset you

Post a Comment

You don't need an account to leave a comment. Just enter your email address. We'll keep it private.

...OR log in with your social account

...OR comment using your social account

Thanks for your comment! Keep it up!
We just need to have a quick look and it will be live soon.
The community is happy to hear your opinion! Keep contributing!