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Worst Chat Up Line

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Worst I ever had on a first date was: I am 28 now and I think it is time I found a wife. Following that I very quickly found the exit :P Read More
Gaia Avatar
1d, 2m agoPosted 1 decade, 2 months ago
Worst I ever had on a first date was:

I am 28 now and I think it is time I found a wife. Following that I very quickly found the exit :P
Gaia Avatar
1d, 2m agoPosted 1 decade, 2 months ago
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#1
hahahahaha has got to be saturday night, we were in our local, some bloke came over looked at the pair of us and asked if there was a car park, we replied yes, pointed to the door that leads to it, he then nodded to us BOTH and said come on then!!!!!!!!!!


still undecided if he meant it or not...
#2
How about. "Don't be shy, your mother wasn't"
#3
sit on my face, and tell me that you love me


no wait, thats a song
#4
geek grrrl
sit on my face, and tell me that you love me


:O

I'm still an avid believer in the old timeless classic..

'Is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven?'
#5
if I said you had a gorgeous body would you hold it against me?
#6
A/S/L
..
...
wanna cyber?
#7
While up dancing say "You don't sweat much for a fat girl do you?"
#8
geek grrrl
A/S/L
..
...
wanna cyber?



LOl. I can relate to this one.
#9
"someone once told me that fat girls give it their all in bed, 'cos they dont know when theyre gonna get some again. I guess what im saying is, your not gonna get it again for a loooong time baby, so make the most of it"
#10
so I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but im the only one talking to you
#11
Had a guy lick my top and then say come back to mine and get outta those wet clothes. Think he got that one in a book :o!
#12
Gaia
Had a guy lick my top and then say come back to mine and get outta those wet clothes. Think he got that one in a book :o!

eeeeewwwwww!
#13
Are you a parking ticket? (What?) You got fine written all over you.

You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.

Can I borrow a 10 p? ["What for?"]
... I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.

What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?

Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I'm here after.

Are your legs tired, because you've been running through my mind all day long
#14
esims84

Can I borrow a 10 p? ["What for?"]
... I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.


File under "Chat Up Lines That Haven't Moved With The Times" :-D
#15
The worst I've had is .. fancy a pizza and a f**k?
#16
This makes me laugh..............

Are those astronaut pants cos your ass is out of this world ?
#17
Think the worst few I have had done to me are :

If I could arrange the alphabet I'll put U and I together.
Your name must be Gillette? the best a man can get.
#18
The funniest chatup line I ever saw performed was by a friend in a Guildford nightclub many moons ago. He walked upto these two ladies and asked one of them if they would like to dance. "Yes" she replied so in response he said "well you go on then and I'll keep your friend company".

Now that's funny!
#19
crazyhorse
The funniest chatup line I ever saw performed was by a friend in a Guildford nightclub many moons ago. He walked upto these two ladies and asked one of them if they would like to dance. "Yes" she replied so in response he said "well you go on then and I'll keep your friend company".

Now that's funny!



agreed, very cheeky but funny :giggle:
#20
"Do you like jewellery? I've a real gem in my boxer shorts."
#21
fireheaven
The worst I've had is .. fancy a pizza and a f**k?


so waht did you say...f**k the pizza and we're both happy!!
#22
Make a "come here" gesture with your forefinger and when they come over say "i made you come with one finger, imagine what i can do with the rest!!"
#23
Reddwarfposse5
Make a "come here" gesture with your forefinger and when they come over say "i made you come with one finger, imagine what i can do with the rest!!"


:giggle:

That top would look great on my floor (actually printed on t-shirts now)
#24
[CENTER] Geek Pick-Up Lines: Part 5
[/CENTER]
11. I entered the probability equation into my TI-89 Titanium Graphing calculator and it predicted you would go out with me, see! (hold up calculator) 10. What's a nice girl like you doing on an unsecured webcam like this? 9. Can I have a large coffee with sugar and your phone number, please? 8. Do you prefer the static or expanding universe theory more? Because, since I first saw you, I'm expanding. 7. That Princess Leia slave girl outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed. 6. You make me want to be an honest man, and register all my shareware. 5. Yes, that is a real light saber replica in my pocket, but I'm still happy to see you. 4. You're so beautiful, I'd take my Steve Austin action figure out of its original packaging for you. 3. Do you want to come back to my place, and we can prank call George Lucas? 2. I don't mean to disturb you, but Heisenberg's Uncertainly Principle said I already did that by observing you. 1. Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven, because p=mv and your velocity after falling that far would be incredible.
#25
[CENTER] Geek Pick-Up Lines: Part 4
[/CENTER]
11. I have so much love to give you'll have to pipe it through more. 10. Did you make a Google Bomb? Whatever I search for, it's you I find. 9. Do you work for a TelCom? Because I bet you'd be good at pulling cable. 8. I was hoping you wouldn't block my pop-up. 7. Would you like to play Scrabble with me? I am tired of playing with myself. 6. You compute me. 5. Girl, I wish I was your differential, because then I'd be touching all your curves. 4. But enough about me, let's talk about mu. 3. Be my queen and mate me with your knight moves. 2. You've stolen the ASCII to my heart. 1. You must've been made by Intel to be that hot!
#26
[CENTER] Geek Pick-Up Lines: Part 3
[/CENTER]
11. I'm attracted to you so much that scientists will begin to doubt the Theory of Relativity. 10. What's a nice girl like you doing in a chatroom like this? 9. Resistance is futile. 8. No matter how I sort things, you'll always be first. 7. No, that's not a Logitech MX-100 in my pants, but thanks for noticing. 6. I think you could be an integral part of my project life cycle. 5. I'd switch to emacs for you. 4. You put the SPARC in my workstation. 3. If you have an empty slot, I have the card to fill it. 2. We're like SLI. Were great alone, but we'd be so much better together. 1. You got me stuck on Caps Lock, if you know what I mean.
#27
Geek Pick Up Lines: Part 2

11. You had me at "Hello World." 10. Mind if I run a sniffer to see if your ports are open? 9. You make me want to upgrade my Tivo. 8. By looking at you I can tell you're 36-25-36, which by the way are all perfect squares. 7. Jedi Mind Trick: "This is the geek you're looking for." *waves hand* 6. You can put a Trojan on my Hard Drive anytime. 5. Have you ever googled yourself? 4. How about we do a little peer-to-peer saliva swapping? 3. With my IQ and your body we could begin a race of genetic superchildren to conquer the earth. 2. What's a girl like you doing in a place like this when there's a Farscape marathon on right now on the Sci Fi channel. 1. I'm attracted to you so strongly, scientists will have to develop a fifth fundamental force.
#28
Geek Pick-up Lines

11. Tell me of this thing you humans call *dramatic pause* love. 10. If you turn me down now, I will become more drunk than you can possibly imagine. 9. They don't call me Bones because I'm a doctor. 8. Your name is Leslie? Look, I can spell your name on my calculator! 7. What's a nice girl like you doing in a wretched hive of scum and villany like this? 6. You must be Windows 95 because you gots me so unstable. 5. My 'up-time' is better than BSD. 4. I can tell by your emoticons that you're looking for some company. 3. Is that an iPod mini in your pocket or are you just happy to see me. 2. Want to see my Red Hat? 1. If you won't let me buy you a drink, at least let me fix your laptop.
#29
[FONT=Verdana]Austin[/FONT][FONT=Verdana] powers chat up lines

1. I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long.
2. (Lick finger and wipe on her blouse) Let's get you out of those wet clothes.
3. Nice legs... What time do they open?
4. Do you work for the post office? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
5. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
6. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
7. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
8. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?
9. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
10. Wanna play army? I'll lie down and you can blow the hell outta me.
11. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
12. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
13. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.
14. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.
15. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
16. (Look down at your crotch) Well, it's not just going to suck itself.
17. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
18. You, Me, Whipped cream and Handcuffs. Any questions?
19. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
20. My name is ...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.
21. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
22. Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
23. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?
24. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I? [/FONT]
#30
"i love big arses and yours is enormous"
guy actually thought he was being complimentary until he got handbag round the head lol
#31
"fancy a round of mr wobbly hides his helmet?"
banned#32
How do you like your eggs in the morning, i like mine fertilized.
#33
currychops
so waht did you say...f**k the pizza and we're both happy!!


I was hungry :giggle:
#34
I use...

Wanna play house? You be the front door and I'll bang you all night long.

Nice lipstick, mind if I smudge it?
#35
"Is your dustbin galvanised?" works a treat, try it tonight if you're going out, they'll go " huh???" and get real close to listen to your answer ( any old rubbish will do usually ), buy 'em a drink and then keep 'em chatting :-D

It's the initial contact that's the hardest, once you're chatting then it'll either go somewhere or it won't. :whistling:
#36
Me and the boys hunted for the best chat up lines and i opted to use this one as my share in the dare on a night out, "Can i tickle your belly button...?" "From the inside." Of course depending on how sharp the girl is depends on response haha i think its funny anyway
#37
I have a few if not already posted

I'm no fred flintstone but i'll make your bed rock

Hi my name is bond not james bond i am unibond come to fill your crack

Is your father a robber as he stole the sparkle from the stars and put them in your eyes

Take me to take if im wrong but is your name Brenda

Wanna play polo - pants off legs open

My face is leaving in 5 minutes - be on it

Would you like your eggs fertilized

:whistling:
#38
Gaia
Had a guy lick my top and then say come back to mine and get outta those wet clothes. Think he got that one in a book :o!


That one had me in stiches!
#39
samthorley
How do you like your eggs in the morning, i like mine fertilized.


:-D :-D :-D
#40
fireheaven
I was hungry :giggle:


of course I was suggesting you advised him to get passionate with the pizza...as I thought it was a NO NO suggestion.....right I've learned something new....the way to a woman's bed is to offer her food....now why didn't I think of that.

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