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would you be happy to let your child do this?

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hi all my daughters school wants to take them to a pantomine now the thing is is they want to walk into town which is about 15-20 minute walk past main roads etc now my daughter is only 5 years old an…
greyparrot Avatar
7y, 3m agoPosted 7 years, 3 months ago
hi all my daughters school wants to take them to a pantomine now the thing is is they want to walk into town which is about 15-20 minute walk past main roads etc now my daughter is only 5 years old and there will be 3 teachers to 30, 5 year olds. i have spoken to the teacher and expressed i do not feel comfortable my daughter walking near main roads with nobody holding her hand the teacher said she would speak to another teacher who has organised it to see if i could walk down with her and back and she has come back to me this morning saying the other teacher has said no we dont need any parents help. now i am really upset about this and i dont want my daughter to miss out but i am also not wanting to risk her going alone,my partner(her dad) has hit the roof and basically said what do they mean they dont need parent help all you want to do is make sure our daughter is safe. i am really thinking about putting a complaint in.what would you do if this was you?
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greyparrot Avatar
7y, 3m agoPosted 7 years, 3 months ago
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#1
I'd happily send mine with the teachers. :)

EDIT: My daughter (5) has gone on school trips to zoos, museum etc, we don't know how long they walk. I'll just trust them. But thats just me. :)
banned#2
They can't stop you walking with her, even if they say no, just don't listen and walk with her anyway and then make a complaint
#3
wouldnt let mine go, we have parent helpers at our school for all outings
#4
do they have those chains?
banned#5
i would go and speak to the head
#6
Was just about to say, when the nursery/school take our kids out they usually have high visibility jackets on etc.

I dont get why they want the kids to walk tho, its not exactly the weather for it is it.
#7
My son is three and knows very well how to behave near roads, so I'd not have a problem. Still, if you're not confident there is nothing they can do to stop you walking with them, and I'm surprised they've said they don't need you. Don't ask them if you can come, tell them you are coming. Perhaps they can't deal with you maybe being responsible for other children... there's a lot of red tape now, just say you'll be there to hold your daughters hand, as you'll only let her go this way.
#8
Marina
I'd happily send mine with the teachers. :)

EDIT: My daughter (5) has gone to school trips to zoos, meuseum etc, we don't know how long they walk. I'll just trust them. But thats just me. :)


yeah i do know what you mean and 99% of the parents dont bother but i cant stop thinking what ifs i mean shes only 5 she has no road sense.
banned#9
ryman1000
They can't stop you walking with her, even if they say no, just don't listen and walk with her anyway and then make a complaint


Yes they can, they could remove the child from the trip.

OP - I think they will be perfectly ok, 30/3 isn't too bad. They will probably have the kids walking in twos side by side (probably holding hands at that age), so about 15 long line, one teacher at the front, one in middle and one at end is perfectly manageable.

I've been on numerous school trips with primary kids and tends to be about 1 adult - 8-10 kids at that age, which increases as they get older.
#10
i thought the ruling was one adult per so many children i think its 4 children to each adult i would check.i let my daughter visit a farm with school she was 7 they let them on the park and it was windy and raining needless to say she slipped and fell off the climbing frame i ended up traveling 30 miles to collect her from hospital.i complained to the education department
#11
jellybaby22
Personally I have let my daughter go on trips like this...where the class of 30 were accompanied by 3 teachers but often the teachers at my LO school ask for parents to help...makes their life easier I suppose...I think 1 teacher to 10 pupils is fine ( i work in a primary school..so I know how hyper 5 vyear olds can be )

If your realy not happy you either dont ledt your daughter go...or try talking to the headmistress....


well thats it its arkward coz i dont want her to miss out on going but i cant see what the big deal is me holding her hand after all she is my daughter and its a public area.
#12
I have let my children go on trips with 3 teachers etc. They know the risks and how to supervise them.

I can understand your concerns but they are not allowed to let you help without first getting a CRB check on you - unfortunately this is the way it is now.
banned#13
greyparrot
well thats it its arkward coz i dont want her to miss out on going but i cant see what the big deal is me holding her hand after all she is my daughter and its a public area.


because if every parent did that, then that makes the journey there and back more unsafe
banned#14
greyparrot
well thats it its arkward coz i dont want her to miss out on going but i cant see what the big deal is me holding her hand after all she is my daughter and its a public area.


Do you have a current CRB check you can show the school? Some school insist on them now for parent helpers.
#15
If you really are concerned go have a word with the headteacher....say how it isnt the trip itself youre not happy about but more that when you asked to personally escort your own child you was told you cant, perhaps the teacher explained it as you were asking if they needed help, not like you were actually asking to be there for your own peace of mind.
Im sure that on explaining the head will see your 'problem' and dont see why they shouldnt let you walk with your kid at all! All I know is a nursery I used to work at had a 1:6 ratio for the 4-5 year olds....and that was in an enclosed space.....1:10 near open roads seems to be asking for an accident IMO.
#16
linw
i thought the ruling was one adult per so many children i think its 4 children to each adult i would check.i let my daughter visit a farm with school she was 7 they let them on the park and it was windy and raining needless to say she slipped and fell off the climbing frame i ended up traveling 30 miles to collect her from hospital.i complained to the education department


the teacher said it is usually 1 teacher to 8 children but the more children there is they can cut down. i feel awful about this and i am also the only parent kicking up a fuss but my gosh why cant they have some transport i would happily let her go then.
#17
My son ( now 7 ) has been on trips to with the school all over the place - i even allowed him to go to the library with 2 other pupils and 3 teachers. you gotta have trust in the teachers abilities .. too much emphasis on there being "bad uns" out there...

as a child i went all over the place with school.. walking or on public transport...

let him go...
banned#18
greyparrot
the teacher said it is usually 1 teacher to 8 children but the more children there is they can cut down. i feel awful about this and i am also the only parent kicking up a fuss but my gosh why cant they have some transport i would happily let her go then.


Because some parents won't pay, then either other parents end up subsiding them or the school ends up paying.
If its a 15 minute walk, then surely that would be 3-4 mins in a coach, I think parents would kick off about having to pay say £3 each to hire a coach for such a small trip.

Is your daughter ok with you by roads? I'm sure she will be ok, if you are really concerned maybe ask the teacher if she can walk either at the very front or very back of the line right next to a teacher?
#19
colinsunderland
Do you have a current CRB check you can show the school? Some school insist on them now for parent helpers.


i had one done when she was in nursery as i went with her on a trip when she was 3 but all the parents went then, also the school knows me from taking my 2 step daughters on so know the courts awarded me with the bring up of them also social services was involved in that case so they should know.
#20
No i wouldnt be very happy either,and yes i would want to walk with them also as i personnally think 3 adults to 30 children is not many at all,my son is actually 4yrs old and going on his 1st trip only a couple of miles away and i myself have volunteered to go along as volunteers have been requested
#21
colinsunderland
Because some parents won't pay, then either other parents end up subsiding them or the school ends up paying.
If its a 15 minute walk, then surely that would be 3-4 mins in a coach, I think parents would kick off about having to pay say £3 each to hire a coach for such a small trip.

Is your daughter ok with you by roads? I'm sure she will be ok, if you are really concerned maybe ask the teacher if she can walk either at the very front or very back of the line right next to a teacher?


she always holds my hand but i think she may mess around especially if she is holding another childs hand, i know i am sounding over the top but i just cant help myself bet you all think i am a control freak lol.
banned#22
greyparrot
she always holds my hand but i think she may mess around especially if she is holding another childs hand, i know i am sounding over the top but i just cant help myself bet you all think i am a control freak lol.


no, all mums worry, as already said go and speak to the head
#23
julieg
No i wouldnt be very happy either,and yes i would want to walk with them also as i personnally think 3 adults to 30 children is not many at all,my son is actually 4yrs old and going on his 1st trip only a couple of miles away and i myself have volunteered to go along as volunteers have been requested


see i would love to go down with her and then i would go back when its finished to walk back with her but the teacher is saying no parents are needed but my whole point is i just want to make sure she gets there and back safe but they just dont want to know.
#24
sassie
no, all mums worry, as already said go and speak to the head


yeah think i will have a word after school finishes, i know plenty of trips like this take place but to me its a accident waiting to happen having 5 year olds near roads like that.
banned#25
greyparrot
yeah think i will have a word after school finishes, i know plenty of trips like this take place but to me its a accident waiting to happen having 5 year olds near roads like that.


the children are more probably far more sensible that they are when with a parent, but i do understnad your concerns, but maybe they have enough helpers already, they cant have one helper per child
#26
greyparrot
yeah think i will have a word after school finishes, i know plenty of trips like this take place but to me its a accident waiting to happen having 5 year olds near roads like that.


Yep, she is your child and if you are concerned then certainly do speak up. You may not be the only one who has issues with it.
banned#27
greyparrot
she always holds my hand but i think she may mess around especially if she is holding another childs hand, i know i am sounding over the top but i just cant help myself bet you all think i am a control freak lol.


not at all, sometimes though you have to trust teachers, they know how to deal with kids messing about and tbh not many do, especially at that age.
#28
colinsunderland
not at all, sometimes though you have to trust teachers, they know how to deal with kids messing about and tbh not many do, especially at that age.


yeah you are probably right she would be on best form for them but my heads like what if but what if lol but on the other hand i keep thinking if anything ever did happen it would be my own fault.
banned#29
greyparrot
yeah you are probably right she would be on best form for them but my heads like what if but what if lol but on the other hand i keep thinking if anything ever did happen it would be my own fault.


my daughter is 16 and i still feel all of that, something you learn to live with over the years, it never gets better:oops:
#30
sassie
my daughter is 16 and i still feel all of that, something you learn to live with over the years, it never gets better:oops:


well thats it hopefully i will do, you know when the 2 older girls came to live with me i was only 19 years old and i never thought like i do now they went on there trips and everything its only since having my own daughter and experiencing it from the very start that my protectiveness has kicked in and i have got worse and worse with the other 2 i do think i need to loosen up abit the middle daughter aged 13 said the other day my mates laugh at me coz i am not allowed to go into town and i felt really bad so yeah i need to sort my head out me thinks.
banned#31
greyparrot
yeah you are probably right she would be on best form for them but my heads like what if but what if lol but on the other hand i keep thinking if anything ever did happen it would be my own fault.


No it wouldn't be your fault, but you can't go through life thinking 'what if' :)
What if she falls over at school, there aren't 1 teacher to 10 in the yard, what if she goes out to play when she's 10 and falls off her bike, etc etc.
It's not easy but there is always a point when you have to trust others to be able to look out for your child
My 15 year old daughter is going to see the northern lights in feb staying here for a night where it can go down to minus 45, during the day -5 is warm, and my head was what if she gets frost bite, what if she falls when ice climbing, what if she doesn't like eating raindeer meat (well that was more of a haha you have to eat raindeer!) etc etc but you realise you can't wrap them in cotton wool forever.
Not getting at you btw, just trying to help!
banned#32
dont think we ever let go, just one of those things we have to learn to live with for their sake, my daughter never goes far, even now, but thats her choice now, she goes to the cinema, out for meals, out to friends, she has a job, but it doesnt stop me worrying when she not here:oops:


greyparrot
well thats it hopefully i will do, you know when the 2 older girls came to live with me i was only 19 years old and i never thought like i do now they went on there trips and everything its only since having my own daughter and experiencing it from the very start that my protectiveness has kicked in and i have got worse and worse with the other 2 i do think i need to loosen up abit the middle daughter aged 13 said the other day my mates laugh at me coz i am not allowed to go into town and i felt really bad so yeah i need to sort my head out me thinks.
#33
colinsunderland
No it wouldn't be your fault, but you can't go through life thinking 'what if' :)
What if she falls over at school, there aren't 1 teacher to 10 in the yard, what if she goes out to play when she's 10 and falls off her bike, etc etc.
It's not easy but there is always a point when you have to trust others to be able to look out for your child
My 15 year old daughter is going to see the northern lights in feb staying here for a night where it can go down to minus 45, during the day -5 is warm, and my head was what if she gets frost bite, what if she falls when ice climbing, etc etc but you realise you can't wrap them in cotton wool forever.
Not getting at you btw, just trying to help!


big difference between 5 and 15.. plus there's usually fences in schoolyards, no fences on roads..

I don't see why they can't allow parents, i'd insist on being with her..
banned#34
therossitron
big difference between 5 and 15.. plus there's usually fences in schoolyards, no fences on roads..

I don't see why they can't allow parents, i'd insist on being with her..


it isnt a family day out, if every parent went, that would be 30 extra people per class, or should 3 parents be refused because there is 3 teachers, think you need to keep a perspective here
banned#35
therossitron
big difference between 5 and 15.. plus there's usually fences in schoolyards, no fences on roads..

I don't see why they can't allow parents, i'd insist on being with her..


Big difference between lapland and a 15 minute walk too, the point was that you always worry about your kids, but unless you wrap them in cotton wool and never let them do anything then you have to put your trust in teachers at some point.

sassie
it isnt a family day out, if every parent went, that would be 30 extra people per class, or should 3 parents be refused because there is 3 teachers, think you need to keep a perspective here


+1
#36
colinsunderland
No it wouldn't be your fault, but you can't go through life thinking 'what if' :)
What if she falls over at school, there aren't 1 teacher to 10 in the yard, what if she goes out to play when she's 10 and falls off her bike, etc etc.
It's not easy but there is always a point when you have to trust others to be able to look out for your child
My 15 year old daughter is going to see the northern lights in feb staying here for a night where it can go down to minus 45, during the day -5 is warm, and my head was what if she gets frost bite, what if she falls when ice climbing, what if she doesn't like eating raindeer meat (well that was more of a haha you have to eat raindeer!) etc etc but you realise you can't wrap them in cotton wool forever.
Not getting at you btw, just trying to help!


yeah i know what your saying i need to loosen up some before i drive my 2 older daughters nuts too lol.
banned#37
op i would go in and speak to the head, just share your concerns and ask if any parents will be needed to help out with the walks, just explain you where a little taken back with the teachers response
#38
greyparrot
yeah i do know what you mean and 99% of the parents dont bother but i cant stop thinking what ifs i mean shes only 5 she has no road sense.


I think you should maybe start to teach her some road sense.
#39
sassie
op i would go in and speak to the head, just share your concerns and ask if any parents will be needed to help out with the walks, just explain you where a little taken back with the teachers response


thanks will do.:thumbsup:
#40
All parent helpers at my daughters school have to be CRB checked, so if you haven't had this done and your childs school follows the same procedures, then they won't let you go. They might get a lot more backlash from other parents if they find out the school have allowed helpers that haven't been checked.

I totally understand why you;d be worried, especially as a child at my nephews school was lost for most of the day on one of their school trips to a theme park, but you can't stop your child from being given the chance to prove how mature they can be. Re-enforce road safety with your child and about not messing around when they're out of school, and perhaps ask a teacher if they can hold his/her hand, or at the very least have him/her walk right infront of them because you are worried about their inability to fully understand the importance of not messing around near a road. They might be a lot more accommodating if you approach it from that angle :thumbsup:

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