Writing my CV is sooooo boring........ - HotUKDeals
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Writing my CV is sooooo boring........

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6y, 10m agoPosted 6 years, 10 months ago
as above, so entertainment me!
Redking Avatar
6y, 10m agoPosted 6 years, 10 months ago
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#1
Mention that you spent 3 months as a trainee elephant circumciser - when they ask you about it, tell them that the pay was poor but the tips were big.

(oh, the old ones are the best:-D)
#2
http://www.scribd.com/doc/69496/CV-of-the-Year

p.s Get back to work! :thumbsup:
#3
Plum
http://www.scribd.com/doc/69496/CV-of-the-Year

p.s Get back to work! :thumbsup:


for those of us in work and have firewalls - please explain the link... lol
#4
arcangel111
for those of us in work and have firewalls - please explain the link... lol


its a application form by a kid in the States for a job in McDonalds that just takes the p*** - very funny
#5
Chat up line in an old folks home


Hi, is that a colostomy bag or are you just pleased to see me?
#6
arcangel111
for those of us in work and have firewalls - please explain the link... lol

Had trouble finding it in form I could copy and paste. Looks prettier on the site. but as follows.

This Kid will go far…
This is an actual job application that a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald’s
restaurant in Florida; and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash.
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s
available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style
severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I’m worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and ‘post-it’
notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
AVAILABLE FOR WORK: Of course. That’s why I’m applying.
PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30 – 3:30pm., Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more
intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM
LIFTING UPTO 50lbs?: 50lbs. of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the appropriate question here would be “Do you have a
car that runs?”
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already
be the winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job, no, on my breaks, yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with
a fabulously wealthy dumb blond supermodel who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced
bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF
YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.
#7
Carley
post your cv and entertainment us


lol :-D
#8
Carley
post your cv and entertainment us


haha, I dont think I could stand the abuse I would no doubt receive

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