A VERY ugly man walks into the bar with a big grin on his face and orders a draft beer. "What are you so happy about?" asks the barman.
"Well, I'll tell you," replies the ugly man. "You know, I live by the railroad tracks. Well, on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks, you know, just like in the movies. I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place. Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all night, all over the house. We did everything, in every position imaginable!"
"Fantastic!" exclaimed the barman. "You lucky bastard, was she pretty?"
"Dunno............Never found the head!