You know you've worked too long at Tesco when... - HotUKDeals
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You know you've worked too long at Tesco when...

birdyboyuk Avatar
8y, 7m agoPosted 8 years, 7 months ago
1. You know to ignore the low paper warning as it starts appearing about 3 days early.

2. You want to hit the people who, when you ask if they have a Clubcard say "No, but I've got this," and then hand you their key-fob.

3. You buzz for someone on headset as soon as you see a gold pineapple on the belt, simply because not one has a barcode.

4. You never expect to find a £5 note in your till.

5. You don't expect to find any pens when you get to a till either.

6. You know a LOT of PLU numbers and barcodes for stuff.

7. You wonder why the till asks you if you have double scanned something in error when the only items people seem to buy in 2's is bacon, mince meat and batteries.

8. You would like to meet the knob from Pringle who has put that other barcode at the bottom of Pringles pots.

9. You don't know why you bother swiping the old-style clubcard.

10. You hate asking people so many questions.

11. You want to slap people who expect every item they find on a reduced shelf to be reduced even if it doesn't have a yellow sticker on it.

12. You always end up writing a shopping list of things you're going to get on your break or for when you finish, based on what the customers you serve buy.

13. Even when people give you their clubcard at the beginning, you still ask for it at the end...But sometimes stop yourself mid-sentence "Have you got a...oh yeah its alright Ive already done it" leaving the customer bewildered.

14. Or you sometimes find yourself saying "There's your card and your receipt..." when just handing back someones clubcard, out of sheer habit...

15. You wonder why people don't seem to notice that they've put the wrong PIN in?! You heard that 'incorrect beep' so why didn't they?

16. You have to help customers open the carrier bags because they can't manage themselves.

17. The most interesting parts of your day are when a glass jar of something drops off the belt, and when you get taken off for your break.

18. You've already thought up an excuse why you can't do overtime before someone comes round with the sheet.

19. When someone comes round with the Team 5 sheet that you've already read, you read it again just to get off a till for a few minutes.

20. You remember a time before having to get a supervisor to void things.

21. If there are lots of the same items on the belt, you alternate the items you scan so you don't have to wait for the delay on the scanner, and because you're too lazy to put in the quantity.

22. You wonder why it is customers ask you for permission to go and get items they've forgotten...

23. Customers will always ask you if you are open when you quite blatantly are, and will always ask you if you are closing even when the barrier is closed, they've just watched you do a pod, and you're leaving the till!! :@

24. You don't ask some customers for clubcard because they don't look like the 'type' to have one (usually 30 something men who look builder-ish, or they have only spent something silly like £1.24 so you don't justify asking) then they turn round to you and say "You didn't ask me for my clubcard", to which you reply, with an anguished look on your face, sorry! You'll have to go customer services to get the points put on... Just goes to show you can't second guess who has a clubcard and who doesn't :-|

25. You act as NORMALLY as possible whenever somebody buys either: a pregnancy test, or condoms. Or if two middle aged men come to your till with a big shop, and they're obviously not just mates. You scan solidly, without making eye contact and or conversation

26. When doing a Pod and having a massive stack of notes in your hand, you've considered on more than one occasion making a quick dash for the exit.

27. You've been to work still pissed on a Sunday or severely hungover! *belch*

28. You get annoyed by the customers who usually have a few items yet seem to insist on waiting until you've scanned it all and put the cash through the till before they pack it, and even then at a ridiculously slow rate. When the next person comes you start to scan their shopping and slowly edge it towards the previous customer who is still busy trying to open the sodding bag. In some instances you've scanned 2 or 3 more customers shopping whilst they're still f***ing about...

29. You think wtf?! about those customers who buy, yes BUY clothes hangers when you have a load under your till...

30. Equally bad or even worse maybe are the ones who pay £1 for a Jute Shopper...

31. Scanning those clubcard vouchers the following phrase comes to mind..."oh excuse me...yeah the bags for life...yeh they're just *points behind belt* yeh just behind there*

32. There's always one till in every store that opens too aggressively!

33. You think Tesco should remove the amount saved from the display that the customer can see, as they always end up smirking at it, "Look at that, I've saved 12p"

34. If you're over 18 you hate having to turn round every 5 mins to authorise alcohol sales when someone behind you is under 18. If you're under 18 you hate having to ask (or you don't), and when you get authorisation you then get that puzzled look of the customer and then you tediously have to explain drinking laws to them.

35. You have your 'regulars'.

36. You don't go off the time on the tills because everybody knows they're a few minutes behind the clocking in time!

37. You have at one point scanned virtually everything off that new(ish) bakery list by accident. (Only applies to tills where the scales are in front and have a scanner underneath)

38. You have one £5 note in your till. A customer pisses you off for whatever reason and when they pay for their stuff they need at least £5 change. But you give them either £2 pound coins or pound coins in their change instead of that solo £5 note...Just to show them whos boss lol.

39. You remember when Onions used to be Cash, tomatoes were cheques and carrots were vouchers...

40. You play around with anything you can find on your till whilst waiting for a customer, including (but not limited to) the hand scanner, the belt+dividers, the green and red lights above the till, till roll, PLU lists, scanning anything that has a barcode on like the school vouchers, the printer, lowering and raising your seat, spinning round on your seat and the buttons for the belt.

41. You've still not managed to find a way to tell the customer that by "Alternative tender required", what it really means is you've not got enough money in your account.

42. You think Tesco should re-design the home-branded sunflower oil to exclude that drip of oil thats on every bottleIts not fooling anyone! (See pictures)

43. You work out that One-in-Front is useless, not least because Tesco cannot reliably measure it - everybody knows those white infa-red boxes can't be doing that good a job, and having team leaders sign on empty tills doesn't help - but more because the customers aren't bothered if they have to wait a bit longer at busy times.

44. The thing that annoys you the most is customers that think they are funny and expect you to laugh at their "jokes"...Such as "You looked bored so I thought I'd give you something to do" and "No thanks, I've brought my packer/helper with me."
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birdyboyuk Avatar
8y, 7m agoPosted 8 years, 7 months ago
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Comments/page:
#1
LMAO well done! solid list, which i am sure will attract a few more entries ...
#2
kippy
LMAO well done! solid list, which i am sure will attract a few more entries ...


I just remember the days before Tesco took over my local supermarket and the shelves were actually fully stocked, staff enjoyed their work and had fun and actually smiled, helped customers pack and spoke to them.

And I remember it from both points of view as I had a student job in both eras.
#3
I used to work at wilkinsons in the early nineties ... we were encouragd to talk to the customers about the products they were buying, my boss hated me and was always hovering around me waiting for me to faff up I guess ... I was praying that someone would come to my till with condoms, so I could say something like 'feeling lucky tonight are we? have you tried the flavoured or ribbed ones, I heard they're quite satisfying...'
Sadly it never happend!!!!
#4
awww ... my little petal - are you going to rescue tesco workers now?:)
#5
45. You realise your entire soul has been destroyed and that you have spent your time contributing to an evil corporation who are second only to the Nazis in their quest for world domination.

:giggle:
#6
BristolDeal
45. You realise your entire soul has been destroyed and that you have spent your time contributing to an evil corporation who are second only to the Nazis in their quest for world domination.

:giggle:


Yes tesco are evil....

Some people will believe anything.:p
#7
I believe Tesco got a bit of a dressing down a couple of weeks ago, for trying to sell padded bras for 7 year olds! Think it was on the news.... whatever next?
#8
i've worked in one stop and can apply most of that list to my experience there, especially the making shopping lists based on what people buy, like when a customer discovers an offer you haven't. those were the days.

46. you can tell when someone is underage by the drink they have chosen (i found this anyway, lots of 15 year old girls buying breezers etc...)
#9
god do they still do team 5. i used to love it as I was the pleb who got took off trollies for an hour to stoat round the store getting people to pretend they read it then taking another hour to fill out and sign everybody off. excellent skive and great way to arrange what was happening at the wknd.
#10
Sheriff Waffles
I believe Tesco got a bit of a dressing down a couple of weeks ago, for trying to sell padded bras for 7 year olds! Think it was on the news.... whatever next?


fair play, some of the 7 year olds i've seen are pretty flat chested........






















joke!
#11
Oh man i totally agree with everything been there 5 months finish tomorrow and i cant wait to forget all the agro

Except you forget if you work on my shittyy electrical/clothing desk you have to fold and pack EVERY piece of clothes because people are too lazy to do it themselves and think its part of my job well its not
#12
BristolDeal
45. You realise your entire soul has been destroyed and that you have spent your time contributing to an evil corporation who are second only to the Nazis in their quest for world domination.

:giggle:


ha ha :-D

i say this thread should be a sticky

also should add

When nothing ever seems to be instock having to advice people about tesco direct and they going oh can i get it delivered

or the stupid man who asked me to help him to the car with a 15inch technika crapola tv when the guys 30 years old
#13
great post
#14
Now I know why I turned up to school. Makes me glad now when I think where I could have been.
banned#15
My time at Tesco was a hoot, food fights late night dolly truck races - good times!
#16
Don't forget...

'Would you like any cashback?'

'No I'd only spend it! Ha ha ha!'
#17
Lol, good but there should be a warning at the top of the post saying that there are 44!!!
#18
I've almost always found Tesco staff the rudest and most unpleasant of any supermarket, even worse than Sainsbury and that's quite an achievement. Is it because Tesco are so dreadful to work for, or do they deliberately recruit people totally lacking in interpersonal skills?
banned#19
tony_s1
I've almost always found Tesco staff the rudest and most unpleasant of any supermarket, even worse than Sainsbury and that's quite an achievement. Is it because Tesco are so dreadful to work for, or do they deliberately recruit people totally lacking in interpersonal skills?


ohhhhh below the belt! :-D
banned#20
i used to work at sainsburys and this man used to come in every thursday thru my till each time i'd say something like... "ohhhh so your shopping at the competition??" or "i guess the nectars too sweet for you to resist?" and one day he asked my why i always say tings like that and i told him it cause he always comes in with a tescos uniform shirt on! then he goes "My son gave me this for my birthday"

HAHAHAH! i burst out laughing and he never came back to my till!
#21
i used to work checkouts in tesco and i did most o9f the above :oops:

i loved telling customers they had to go to another till when i was closing down,:whistling:

they storm off to find all other tills are shut cos night staff hadn't started:p
#22
imranmaz
i used to work at sainsburys and this man used to come in every thursday thru my till each time i'd say something like... "ohhhh so your shopping at the competition??" or "i guess the nectars too sweet for you to resist?" and one day he asked my why i always say tings like that and i told him it cause he always comes in with a tescos uniform shirt on! then he goes "My son gave me this for my birthday"

HAHAHAH! i burst out laughing and he never came back to my till!


:giggle::giggle:
#23
love this thread, used to work in Morrisons and it definitely strikes a chord!
repped
#24
what really used to bug me was the old ones who would always ask if you were doing "piece work" if you scanned more than an item per minute...........

i mean, what the hell does that even mean to a 16 year old?

just get your smelly raggedy ass away from my till already you old codger!!!
#25
dandoc2
Oh man i totally agree with everything been there 5 months finish tomorrow and i cant wait to forget all the agro

Except you forget if you work on my shittyy electrical/clothing desk you have to fold and pack EVERY piece of clothes because people are too lazy to do it themselves and think its part of my job well its not


re: folding teeshirts trick. i remember seeing this somewhere -- some GAP staff i think showed how to fold clothes like mega fast, kind fold here and there and wallla, it's v neat like how they do at the shops.

wonder if i can find that clip.
---
edit: here's the post on it with instructional videolink.
#26
kippy
re: folding teeshirts trick. i remember seeing this somewhere -- some GAP staff i think showed how to fold clothes like mega fast, kind fold here and there and wallla, it's v neat like how they do at the shops.

wonder if i can find that clip.
---
edit: here's the post on it with instructional videolink.


walla? lol

voila, perhaps?
#27
Sheriff Waffles
I used to work at wilkinsons in the early nineties ... we were encouragd to talk to the customers about the products they were buying, my boss hated me and was always hovering around me waiting for me to faff up I guess ... I was praying that someone would come to my till with condoms, so I could say something like 'feeling lucky tonight are we? have you tried the flavoured or ribbed ones, I heard they're quite satisfying...'
Sadly it never happend!!!!


When I worked at Tesco I had a really old couple come through my till with a tube of KY jelly, I just burst out laughing when I scanned it through and they looked at me as if I were insane. Obviously they weren't intending to use it they way I had imagined!
#28
Brilliant post BB and some great comments by you guys also.Has kept me amused for 15 minutes.I promise to behave better towards till staff from now on.:p

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