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Your help please (partner reading private docs - how, argh)

UsernameStealer! Avatar
banned8y, 4m agoPosted 8 years, 4 months ago
I write a personal diary, including feelings of mine and my partners relationship etc. My partner knows i write it, often asks questions about it which I dismiss....

today when i was in the conservatory, i looked through to the living room, and i could see her on the laptop, reading MY private documents. She was on her user account though. When i walked past, she quickly shut the laptop, and then re-opened it, before moving to a more discreet seat where i couldn't see through from the conservatory.

a) I am interested how she could read them, as they are in my documents, my windows is password protected, and we are both administrators on the comp?

b) My daughter said she saw her copying them onto her windows account - is there any way i could get onto her account and remove them? Or just check that they are actually there so i have definitive proof to confront her with?

This is gonna be the final straw.
UsernameStealer! Avatar
banned8y, 4m agoPosted 8 years, 4 months ago
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banned#1
Wow, yeah if she has administrative rights she can access whatever files she wants

she can just right click a folder, click on security settings and basically take ownership of them. You would have been better off putting a password on the documents,

C:\documents and settings\users\

or

C:\users\

so so so wrong of her to read them
#2
why are you asking your daughter what her mother does thats as bad :?
#3
please be careful, kids dont always see what they think they see. mum of 3 x
#4
Hi,

I am struggling with why you would want to keep something like this from your partner! Seems a bit odd to me if you are in a stable relationship, if not then you need to do something about it. Just my opinion not meant to be a derogatory comment.

Regards

Chris
banned#5
lumoruk
Wow, yeah if she has administrative rights she can access whatever files she wants


Even if there is a password on my windows account? I can't view her docs and im an admin aswell

okaydokey
why are you asking your daughter what her mother does thats as bad :?


My daugher is 16, and I asked her if she wouldn't mind walking past and just having a quick look at the screen, just to double check what i had already seen.
banned#6
C6REW
Hi,

I am struggling with why you would want to keep something like this from your partner! Seems a bit odd to me if you are in a stable relationship, if not then you need to do something about it. Just my opinion not meant to be a derogatory comment.

Regards

Chris



Thanks. The relationship isn't completely stable, it has been getting worse recently, and so i like to keep a little diary of whats going on - but of course we talk about it aswell. Its nice to be able to write confidentially, and so you can imagine how i feel when she has read it?
#7
why would she do that in the first place?
banned#8
Thanks for the extra info lumoruk :)

wonkey - probably because the relationship is going downhill, so she thought she'd check up on me and what i was writing. TBH it was nothing i hadnt already told her, but its private, thats the point
#9
UsernameStealer!
Even if there is a password on my windows account? I can't view her docs and im an admin aswell



My daugher is 16, and I asked her if she wouldn't mind walking past and just having a quick look at the screen, just to double check what i had already seen.



Maybe its just me the childs age dosen't matter shouldn't involve them :) especially if its private
banned#10
okaydokey
Maybe its just me the childs age dosen't matter shouldn't involve them :)


If they were under that age i probably wouldn't - but my daughter was actually aware that she was reading them as she was with me, and felt disgusted like I do - she actually offered to walk past and see what she was doing.
#11
Buy a usb flash drive and save it to that then you wont have a problem.
#12
well mr username stealer - your answer is in your name..... protect your doc by passwording it - don't think us females cannot have a stab at your password coz we will! If I knew that info was around about me and my relationship you bet I would try & access it also......

Try a search of text you have used in all docs - this may bring it up, i'm not a comp wizzkid but is she is an administrator then she would have the same access as you... enabling file share etc.

ps - if this isnt the final straw be careful - she may feel she has to check, especially as you have now discussed this with your daughter!! she as others would feel a little paranoid.
#13
UsernameStealer!
Thanks for the extra info lumoruk :)

wonkey - probably because the relationship is going downhill, so she thought she'd check up on me and what i was writing. TBH it was nothing i hadnt already told her, but its private, thats the point


Doesnt sound like a good time your going through mate. Hope it works out for you ..:thumbsup:
#14
Whatever your reasons for keeping what's basically a diary, if your partner is aware of its existance and you have said that it's private then she should respect your wishes. Can you imagine her reaction if she was keeping a diary and you went and read it behind her back?

Rather than try and remove the files from her account, I would say your best bet is just confronting her and saying you saw her reading them and take it from there. Involving children for whatever reason is going to make the child feel bad and possibly like they're taking sides, which isn't good.

Whatever happens though, I hope it works out as you want :thumbsup:
#15
how long have u been together? are u married etc?
#16
UsernameStealer!;2631427
Even if there is a password on my windows account? I can't view her docs and im an admin aswell



My daugher is 16, and I asked her if she wouldn't mind walking past and just having a quick look at the screen, just to double check what i had already seen.


An administrative user can view pretty much any file on the PC including other people's documents. Even if you set permissions only for your own account, another administrative user can override them by taking ownership of the files and resetting permissions.

You have a few choices, one is as mentioned buy a USB drive and keep it on you as that gives you peace of mind - if you have the drive with you then it's nearly impossible to read the files, just be careful with any autosaving as some Office programs will leave temp copies lying around.

Alternatively you can encrypt the files, put them in a password protected zip file or just use a tool to password protect the files.

Whose laptop is it? If it's your machine I would simply downgrade her user account to a standard user given it sounds like she has no problem abusing the facility.

John
#17
UsernameStealer!
If they were under that age i probably wouldn't - but my daughter was actually aware that she was reading them as she was with me, and felt disgusted like I do - she actually offered to walk past and see what she was doing.


All I'm saying is be careful it is easy to involve your kids without realising at he end of the day she's still the mother and 16 is a horrible age where you will turn against one parent if not two

Think about how would your kid would know she was looking at your private docs unless she knew you had them all I'm saying is 16 is a very vunerable age be careful :)

I know its not nice when private docs are read but maybe ur wifes looking for an answer I hope everthing works out for the best for you and your family :)
#18
I see a "anyone recommend a good divorce lawyer" thread.
#19
This has got to be the saddest post of the week. The question is WHY are you doing this?
#20
Nitro111
This has got to be the saddest post of the week. The question is WHY are you doing this?



Sometimes strangers are the best to talk to :thumbsup:
1 Like #21
Hi,

Having given this thought and read your replies, I reckon we should not judge you, as the reasons are and should not be known to us.

The best advice already given is to get a USB stick and put the diary on that. Alternatively use a pda to write the info on which you can keep to yourself.

Regards and best of luck,

Chris
#22
Sorry to hear about your problems mate, I hope you sort them out for the best, whatever that may be

I would recommend doing what pretty much everyone else has said (use a USB drive to store them or password protect them)

I would just like to add though that you should also check her recent file list to make sure that she hasn't saved another copy of them under a different file name, if you think she has you can also search the pc

If you are using XP when you go to;

Start
Search
Documents (word processing, spreadsheets etc)
Then use advanced search options
and search for a word or phrase in the document
Then just search for a phrase you know is contained within your diary

As I said though good luck mate and I hope everything turns out for the best
#23
i agree x
#24
I had a 5 year diary once - the lockable sort.... I used to write in code so my sisters couldn't figure out what I'd written - thing is nor could I...... lol
#25
i agreed in the wrong place. but who are we to judge? i sometime's find it easier to talk to someone i dont know. it's good to get a wider opinion. x
#26
lilymai
i agreed in the wrong place. but who are we to judge? i sometime's find it easier to talk to someone i dont know. it's good to get a wider opinion. x


Use the quote button in future when replying to a particular post that way people know exactly what you are replying to

Welcome to HUKD's anyway :thumbsup:
2 Likes #27
RedIron
Use the quote button in future when replying to a particular post that way people know exactly what you are replying to

Welcome to HUKD's anyway :thumbsup:


thanks hun xx
#28
lilymai
thanks hun xx


No problems :thumbsup:
banned#29
I wouldn't keep a diary if I were you. If you dont want people knowing your inner thoughts, dont write them down. Its a common human trait to want to know forbidden information.

It might be worth talking to her about it though
banned#30
Oh by the way. A password can be added to word documents to protect them from unwanted eyes
#31
okaydokey
If no'one was intrested no'one would reply I've seen many a topic on this forum thats not a hot deal if you don't like a post don't reply to it simple I would think :thumbsup:


u are a breath of fresh air. what's wrong with someone asking for advice on what ever reason. it's hard sometimes for people to get help.
#32
lilymai
u are a breath of fresh air. what's wrong with someone asking for advice on what ever reason. it's hard sometimes for people to get help.


totally agree not everyones got someone to talk too :thumbsup:
#33
Nitro111
I have, do you not understand, my favourite fish ( I have had for 2 years died today) This is a real problem for me. Thanks in advance for your undertstanding.


Lucky fish :whistling:
#34
Aww blimey, it all sounds a bit messy tbh. I wouldn't attempt to offer any techy advice, because I am soo clueless myself. However, whatever the circumstances are, especially as you have a daughter involved, I genuinely hope that it is all resolved one way or another :).
1 Like #35
Nitro111;2631522
I would accept that, unless you use a public format to discuss your personal problems.... MOD EDIT, QUOTED MESSAGE DELETED.


It's not a personal problem, although a discussion of that nature has progressed the original query was of a technical nature regarding the functioning of the Windows security system.

I don't see this as 'clogging' the forum either, this is the misc forum which contains a variety of different thread types. There are advantages to discussing personal problems with strangers who have no idea of the people involved and therefore can offer more impartial advice.

John
#36
Johnmcl7
It's not a personal problem, although a discussion of that nature has progressed the original query was of a technical nature regarding the functioning of the Windows security system.

I don't see this as 'clogging' the forum either, this is the misc forum which contains a variety of different thread types. There are advantages to discussing personal problems with strangers who have no idea of the people involved and therefore can offer more impartial advice.

John

Yup, exactly :thumbsup:
1 Like #37
WonderWoman
Yup, exactly :thumbsup:



second that :thumbsup:
#38
WonderWoman
Yup, exactly :thumbsup:

i agree wonderwoman, even i got carried away :(
#39
okaydokey
second that :thumbsup:


Totally agree, what's wrong with people wanting to help others? It's not as if it's a reasonable time to call a friend.

Hope you sort things out.
#40
Nitro111
But the dog in the avatar is mine (really) Divorce = Dog (Russian Terrier/Fish=Endlers from South America/Car Impeza, Help Please? P.S I never send emails or Blogs 'cause I have a happy marriage!



and ur point is :?

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