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[FREE] The Bloody British: A Well-Meaning Guide to an Awkward Nation - Kindle Edition @ Amazon
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[FREE] The Bloody British: A Well-Meaning Guide to an Awkward Nation - Kindle Edition @ Amazon

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Posted 16th Dec 2019

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Ever said sorry to an inanimate object?

Formed a queue… on your own?

Or spent the whole night standing naked in a stranger’s cupboard because you’re too polite to ask for help? (Don’t ask.)

Being British isn’t easy. Especially if you live abroad, where your countrymen aren’t exactly famous for, well, blending in.

As his beloved homeland goes Brexit bananas, bestselling humourist Paul Hawkins takes on Britishness - how it looks from the outside, how to be British abroad and what you only learn about home once you leave it.

In this self-deprecating (and only mildly treacherous) handbook, he reveals the awkward secrets, cultural blind-spots and private oddness of the people he once shared an island with. (Revenge is a dish best served politely, after all…)

Part memoir, part cheat-sheet for decoding a nation of well-meaning misfits, The Bloody British is full of hilarious insights about Britishness gleaned (often begrudgingly) from the author’s own time as another country’s foreigner. What does Europe think of us?

Featuring invaluable advice for all Brits, expats, brexpats and visitors to the UK alike, including:

· The Brit Abroad Language-Speaking Plan

· How to be Rude, Politely (the secret world of passive-aggression)

· How to be Mean, Nicely (the unwritten rules of successful banter)

· … plus an illustrated Integration Guide for British Refugees in Europe (just in case)
[Paperback version only - sorry!]

For all fans of Very British Problems, Douglas Adams and Bill Bryson, it’s the perfect gift for the socially awkward oddball in your life (especially if that socially awkward oddball is you.)
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Top comments
Cold I am Scottish
Britain is a union of countries, not a nation. Shame the author can't even get the title right.
31 Comments
Cold I am Scottish
I wish I had a kindle now lol
Britain is a union of countries, not a nation. Shame the author can't even get the title right.
Thanks this is a great gift for my wife
Thanks
The people of Scotland care
Thank you kind person (is that British enough?) downloaded it. Ta mate;)
Crossbow16/12/2019 21:53

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Highlanders-Wicked-Game-Scottish-Highlander-ebook/dp/B07TJTX5VR/[Image]


That looks like the cover of that Outlander rubbish...
Nus.16/12/2019 21:46

I wish I had a kindle now lol


You know you can use the Kindle reader?
Ever said sorry to an inanimate object?
That one cracks me up! I guess it's because I watched Notting Hill last night - the whoopsidaisies scene reminds me how awkward the nation can be...
Trazyn_The_Infinite16/12/2019 21:48

Britain is a union of countries, not a nation. Shame the author can't even …Britain is a union of countries, not a nation. Shame the author can't even get the title right.


The UK is a nation comprised of a union of countries.
I have none of these traits, never get in line, slam doors in peoples faces and push old people out of the way, but I do enjoy a nice cup of tea and a hobnob
Nus.16/12/2019 21:46

I wish I had a kindle now lol


If you have an iPad you,can download the kindle reader app
Thanks, old boy
bladfire17/12/2019 00:51

Comment deleted


If we have to take it up the bum for the sake of the nation, I will be the first in the queue. Unless someone is already in line. I wouldn't want to push in and have people tut at me.
Can I use this with my Kobo?
If you’re Scottish you’re still British!!
CuriosityCat17/12/2019 05:31

If you’re Scottish you’re still British!!



Hopefully not for much longer.

And when the term British was introduced, it wasn't so popular in England, whereas Scots were quite happy to say they were Northern British. Fast forward to the present, the English still refer to the UK as England, most Scots are Scottish first, Britain is not so great, and the union should be dissolved as soon as possible.
Edited by: "mcek" 17th Dec 2019
Pualle17/12/2019 02:47

If we have to take it up the bum for the sake of the nation, I will be the …If we have to take it up the bum for the sake of the nation, I will be the first in the queue. Unless someone is already in line. I wouldn't want to push in and have people tut at me.


Bravo sir. True noble response
bladfire17/12/2019 09:07

Bravo sir. True noble response


Why thank you. It's the least I could do. I wish I could do more. I expect you would do the same.

For Queen and country, I would take it up the bum once for each.
hot445916/12/2019 22:04

The people of Scotland care


Shut up Nicola Sturgeon!
xenophon16/12/2019 23:25

The UK is a nation comprised of a union of countries.


For those interested, actually, the legal status of Scotland will be coming before the Supreme Court in 2020. Whether Scotland can hold a legally binding indyref 2 without a s.30 order from Westminster (look it up). Quotes below from Businesses for Scotland website article- A 2020 Scottish independence referendum – what if Westminster says No? A legal challenge would rest on the status of Scotland as a nation, which was a member of a union of nations and therefore, has the right to decide its own future. To state that Scotland does not have the right to self-determination, the UK Government would have to argue that Scotland is not a nation and that Scotland ceased to exist with the Act of Union. This would be unacceptable to most Scots.

If the UK Government goes to court and loses, then Holyrood can hold a legal referendum that would be accepted by the international community. Even if Westminster refused to accept the result, Holyrood would be able to action the result and become legally independent. On the other hand, if the UK Government were to win such a court case, it would also mean by default that England ceased to exist with the Act of Union. If the question is “what would drive support for Scottish independence to 80% in both Scotland and England?”, then there is your answer.


Might also end up in the International Court of Justice: As part of the UN, it would first have to decide if Scotland is a member of the UN by virtue of being a nation-state – a member of a multi-nation state that was a UN member. If it agrees Scotland is a nation, then it could hear the dispute. However, having agreed Scotland is a nation-state, it would then have to overrule the UK Supreme Court, as Article 1 of the UN charter states that “every peoples have a right to self-determination”.

Whatever happens in the Courts, and whatever you think of Brexit, Brexit has sealed the fate of the disUnited Kingdom, led by Scotland and NI.
I think that most of the Scots are now living in Blackpool, I hope that they can somehow keep the place as part of a settlement when they leave the union.
It seems to suit them well and I don't think anyone would want to keep it as part of England.
Pete52517/12/2019 16:56

For those interested, actually, the legal status of Scotland will be … For those interested, actually, the legal status of Scotland will be coming before the Supreme Court in 2020. Whether Scotland can hold a legally binding indyref 2 without a s.30 order from Westminster (look it up). Quotes below from Businesses for Scotland website article- A 2020 Scottish independence referendum – what if Westminster says No? A legal challenge would rest on the status of Scotland as a nation, which was a member of a union of nations and therefore, has the right to decide its own future. To state that Scotland does not have the right to self-determination, the UK Government would have to argue that Scotland is not a nation and that Scotland ceased to exist with the Act of Union. This would be unacceptable to most Scots. If the UK Government goes to court and loses, then Holyrood can hold a legal referendum that would be accepted by the international community. Even if Westminster refused to accept the result, Holyrood would be able to action the result and become legally independent. On the other hand, if the UK Government were to win such a court case, it would also mean by default that England ceased to exist with the Act of Union. If the question is “what would drive support for Scottish independence to 80% in both Scotland and England?”, then there is your answer. Might also end up in the International Court of Justice: As part of the UN, it would first have to decide if Scotland is a member of the UN by virtue of being a nation-state – a member of a multi-nation state that was a UN member. If it agrees Scotland is a nation, then it could hear the dispute. However, having agreed Scotland is a nation-state, it would then have to overrule the UK Supreme Court, as Article 1 of the UN charter states that “every peoples have a right to self-determination”.Whatever happens in the Courts, and whatever you think of Brexit, Brexit has sealed the fate of the disUnited Kingdom, led by Scotland and NI.

The United Kingdom is what is internationally recognised... They'd be hard pushed to define Scotland as a separatr legal entity these days... In the EU, we are the UK, at the UN, we are the UK...

Imho....
Erudite17/12/2019 20:28

I think that most of the Scots are now living in Blackpool, I hope that …I think that most of the Scots are now living in Blackpool, I hope that they can somehow keep the place as part of a settlement when they leave the union.It seems to suit them well and I don't think anyone would want to keep it as part of England.


They can have it...
Pete52517/12/2019 16:56

For those interested, actually, the legal status of Scotland will be … For those interested, actually, the legal status of Scotland will be coming before the Supreme Court in 2020. Whether Scotland can hold a legally binding indyref 2 without a s.30 order from Westminster (look it up). Quotes below from Businesses for Scotland website article- A 2020 Scottish independence referendum – what if Westminster says No? A legal challenge would rest on the status of Scotland as a nation, which was a member of a union of nations and therefore, has the right to decide its own future. To state that Scotland does not have the right to self-determination, the UK Government would have to argue that Scotland is not a nation and that Scotland ceased to exist with the Act of Union. This would be unacceptable to most Scots. If the UK Government goes to court and loses, then Holyrood can hold a legal referendum that would be accepted by the international community. Even if Westminster refused to accept the result, Holyrood would be able to action the result and become legally independent. On the other hand, if the UK Government were to win such a court case, it would also mean by default that England ceased to exist with the Act of Union. If the question is “what would drive support for Scottish independence to 80% in both Scotland and England?”, then there is your answer. Might also end up in the International Court of Justice: As part of the UN, it would first have to decide if Scotland is a member of the UN by virtue of being a nation-state – a member of a multi-nation state that was a UN member. If it agrees Scotland is a nation, then it could hear the dispute. However, having agreed Scotland is a nation-state, it would then have to overrule the UK Supreme Court, as Article 1 of the UN charter states that “every peoples have a right to self-determination”.Whatever happens in the Courts, and whatever you think of Brexit, Brexit has sealed the fate of the disUnited Kingdom, led by Scotland and NI.


Is that after Salmond comes before the supreme court. Never trust a man with 4 pensions.
I did not vote to leave the EU so I will fight my case to the end.
£3.49 now
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