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Get the right size and save much more than a few £: Passante Super King condoms £9.99 delivered from Freedoms (NHS)
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Get the right size and save much more than a few £: Passante Super King condoms £9.99 delivered from Freedoms (NHS)

13
Posted 9th Jul
Bit of a lecture from a nurse I'm afraid

For some reason in those sex ed classes when we're all putting condoms on cucumbers they don't mention one thing - not everyone is the same size. And if you're not an average size then average size condoms WON'T work properly for you. Let's be frank - either they split, or they fall off/slip. It can cause erectile dysfunction. And sex won't feel good either, you'll either feel like you're wearing a rubber band or have no sensation.

There is a lot online about "condoms are rubbish" and so a lot of especially young people just assume cr*ppy sex is how it is with a condom. Well it DEFINITELY won't feel as good as it could if your condom isn't the right size.

And because you obviously need to know...the average UK size is 5" to 7". So if you are above or below that, you may well benefit from a different size.

These are pretty cheap but the best bit is - from experience - if they aren't the right size they will send you a different size for free. Joy of being connected to the NHS I suppose. If you want you can send the wrong size back and they will use them for sex ed lessons so they won't go to waste.

The morning after pill isn't cheap if you pay for it, abortions are harrowing and having a child because of failed contraception DEFINITELY isn't cheap.

So, if you think you might be above/below average and haven't tried different sized condoms try them today. If not for me, do it for your willy. It deserves a bit of TLC - tailored latex condoms.
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13 Comments
Sigh ! What might have been ............
Edited by: "joyf4536" 9th Jul
Instead of measuring can I just send a pic...?
R..Daneel.Olivav10/07/2019 00:00

Instead of measuring can I just send a pic...?


Yes, indeed then you'll save even more because you will no longer be participating in an activity that requires condoms
TipsyNurse10/07/2019 00:02

Yes, indeed then you'll save even more because you will no longer be …Yes, indeed then you'll save even more because you will no longer be participating in an activity that requires condoms



Can always hope that she's a bit tipsy
R..Daneel.Olivav10/07/2019 00:06

Can always hope that she's a bit tipsy


That's true, I'm not fussy as long as they need a Super King condom.
To be fair @TipsyNurse you had us all feeling inadequate at "cucumbers"

I'd consider editing that to "when we're all putting condoms on green beans" and we'll all start feeling good about ourselves again.
"when we're all putting condoms on cucumbers"...
...the average UK size is 5" to 7""
...condoms WON'T work properly for you."


Maybe they should switch to carrots then?
R..Daneel.Olivav10/07/2019 00:03

"when we're all putting condoms on cucumbers"......the average UK size is …"when we're all putting condoms on cucumbers"......the average UK size is 5" to 7""...condoms WON'T work properly for you."Maybe they should switch to carrots then?


Carrots would be much better.
TipsyNurse10/07/2019 00:10

That's true, I'm not fussy as long as they need a Super King condom.



Thank you! You're a Star!
Edited by: "R..Daneel.Olivav" 10th Jul
In sex education class, for those that aren't the UK national average size of a cucumber, maybe they could offer a small condom with a picked ghurkin and a king sized with a marrow.
Can't remember where I gleaned this information but apparently P****es are small, medium or large (whatever you deem those measurements to be) and so are V*****s. Not that I have much insight on either subject.

Makes sense as we all have different sized feet, or whichever body part you wish to base your comparison on!
Pualle10/07/2019 00:31

In sex education class, for those that aren't the UK national average size …In sex education class, for those that aren't the UK national average size of a cucumber, maybe they could offer a small condom with a picked ghurkin and a king sized with a marrow.


Marrows provided with a bin bag.
Not sure why it's been downvoted. 72 for £10 seems a good deal. Hopefully these don't feel like I'm wearing a cock ring mid-shaft 😄
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