How to Be a Footballer Paperback by Peter Crouch now £3.99 (Prime) + 99p (non Prime) at Amazon
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How to Be a Footballer Paperback by Peter Crouch now £3.99 (Prime) + 99p (non Prime) at Amazon

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Posted 3rd Aug
**Winner of the 2018 Telegraph Sports Book Awards Sports Bestseller of the Year**

'Very funny on almost every page, wonderfully self-deprecating and very sharp on the ludicrous behaviour of the modern player' - Sunday Times

'The funniest man in British sport' - Metro

Featured on BBC Radio 2 with Chris Evans

You become a footballer because you love football. And then you are a footballer, and you’re suddenly in the strangest, most baffling world of all. A world where one team-mate comes to training in a bright red suit with matching top-hat, cane and glasses, without any actual glass in them, and another has so many sports cars they forget they have left a Porsche at the train station. Even when their surname is incorporated in the registration plate.

So walk with me into the dressing-room, to find out which players refuse to touch a football before a game, to discover why a load of millionaires never have any shower-gel, and to hear what Cristiano Ronaldo says when he looks at himself in the mirror.

We will go into post-match interviews, make fools of ourselves on social media and try to ensure that we never again pay £250 for a haircut that should have cost a tenner. We’ll be coached and cajoled by Harry Redknapp, upset Rafa Benitez and be soothed by the sound of an accordion played by Sven-Goran Eriksson’s assistant Tord Grip. There will be some very bad music and some very bad decisions.

I am Peter Crouch. This is How To Be A Footballer. Shall we?

Can’t get enough of Crouch? Tune into That Peter Crouch Podcast on Radio 5 Live
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12 Comments
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Doing the DealDroid
Edited by: "DealDroid" 3rd Aug
The man who never was... ☹
I bet that’s a tall story
It's a great read!
Should have wrote a book on how to get an Abbey Clancy...Would sell millions
-Hello! We are starting the seminar “How to make a million in one day”. Question to the hall. How much did a seminar ticket cost?
- Hundred pounds.
- How many places in this room?
-Ten thousand.
- Thank you, the seminar is over.
Voted hot because its peter crouch. Blokes brilliant
Advertise_here03/08/2019 09:53

Voted hot because its peter crouch. Blokes brilliant


Not if you're a S'ampton supporter he isn't.
Who ?
It’s also an audiobook. So straight from the horse’s mouth - as it were
stevieshoes03/08/2019 15:07

It’s also an audiobook. So straight from the horse’s mouth - as it were

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"Should have wrote a book on how to get an Abbey Clancy..."

Mrs Mertle answered that question to Debbie McGee, "What did you see in Millionaire Paul Daniels?
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