I have a larger response under review, hopefully it is approved. I just wanted to say i feel the same about CBT, there isn't just one story, we are all different and respond or don't as the case maybe to different treatments. How rude of the doctor to trivialise your problem, its like people who say you will sleep eventually just follow a routine and before you know it you will be back sleeping well again. Do they really think if it was that simple we would be having this conversation. One of the problems is that the funding for studies is not there, so people are just given meditation techniques and sent off on their way.You don't sound like a sack to me, you sound like someone i identify with and someone who can understand how i am feeling, when overs can't. Its very hardness to have negative thoughts whilst lying in bed knowing that most people are sleeping peacefully. One of my worst things is the world waking up to start a new day and i haven't even slept yet. It gets me down every time :( I am actually lucky in i can pinpoint the time in my life when everything changed, but even with that information I'm unable to move forward. Oh and if i hear Margret Thatcher survived on 3 hours sleep one more time i may scream, I'm clearly not her and knowing that doesn't make me sleep better!! Don't apologise for rambling, i get it, its not often you talk with others who understand what your going through.
Bought as a wee stocking filler 🎅
I am so sorry that you are having to make that choice too. If i could love your comment i would, because you are describing what i experience perfectly. As someone who is suffering with a chronic issue and has been for 20 years, i find it astounding that we have to humiliate ourselves and be treated like an addict, just to get what we need to be able to function and lead a normal life. Insomnia has had such a huge impact on my life and none of it positive. I hate being judged by the doctors, treating you like you want to take the pill for a high or something. No, i take it to be able to function as a wife and mother to my two children. I have tried many different medications, therapies and CBT courses over the years. I've taken up meditation, exercise, cut all caffeine from my diet, ate half a banana before bed, no screens or phones before bed, you name it I've tried it, but nothing helps. Several of them over the last 20 years have caused me weight gain, which is such a negative side effect, like you that is not an option for me and i won't take ones that have a chance of making me gain weight. Its not me being vain, its about struggling enough without that to deal with too, it caused me to get depression and i had feelings of no self worth. Its so hard when people think a bad night is only getting 6-8 hours sleep, that to me would be heaven. So i am totally sympathetic to what you are going through. I sometimes think knowing your not alone helps, all though i wouldn't wish true insomnia on anyone, its that horrible.
I was tested for Bipolar Disorder back in the 1990s but considered not to be - but I suppose my self awareness and insight goes against me. I have obsessive thoughts at times (I am sane, I just have cycling thoughts and self destructive ruminations sometimes) I find hard to break, I have to watch I don't feed my anxiety. I did have very intense highs in my teens and 20s - seems to be more crashing lows these days. Think my GP just has me down as an avoidant/anxiety/panic attack patient (I was more or less agoraphobic for a time). Socialising used to be much easier for me but I find it harder now, I obsess so much I talk myself out of meeting people. Glad to say I haven't had a real emotional crash for a while.. I sound like a real sad sack, haha, but I am a nice person, according to those who love me :) Mental health care with the NHS has a long way to go. Currently all my doctor offers is CBT - which I can understand is more training yourself to be disciplined with thinking = actions = expectations. But if it was that easy I wouldn't have to deal with my irrational side? I'm sorry to say, I found the group CBT sessions too simplistic, even condescending. They are generalising about people and putting them all in a "one size fits all" box. Hearing the counsellors announce that "It's the NHS' number one frontline treatment" (the whole vibe seemed to me as if they were delighted they'd won the long-term contract or something) at the first meeting didn't help. It was basically three hours of "CBT is great" and came across more like a sales pitch. I have endured some staggeringly tone-deaf comments from psychologists and doctors - but hey, humans do that at times. Went to a just-qualified GP who said, "You're tired? Try doing the shifts I do!" (erm, sorry to hear that, but who's the patient here?) as an example.. PS: Sorry for the ramble, my brain needs an edit function sometimes :p