Visiting somewhere special this Valentine's? After a long, hard drive, this mini massager might just help.
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Visiting somewhere special this Valentine's? After a long, hard drive, this mini massager might just help.

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Found 12th Feb
Are you and your loved on planning on taking a little vacation down south this Valentine's Day? (Assuming you're northern, of course).


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Imagine it - you get in (your car), you go like the clappers to reach your target destination, you pull up, you have a sprig of tingling sensations in that place where you can't reach. You complain to your partner that you aren't enjoying the ride - as a little 'knobble' isn't playing ball - you stretch, you squirm, you try your best to reach the spot; you can't, you're sore, you're frustrated... you are so bloody wishing you hadn't bothered in the first place...


401687700-1518406702.jpg"I want you to draw me like one of your French girls Jack!"

Then - your partner whips out this little badboy...

Then, says:

"Roses are Red, Violets are blue... just shut your goddamn mouth whilst I massage it for you!"

He/she man-euvers you into a position of relaxation... they prod, they glide, they dig... they might as well be taking you to the pearly gates of heaven.

Then, like a one-human rocket, you're off! Back on the road of love, those nuts and bolts chugging like a train driver's nightmares... grinding those gears back down the Mmmm6....!

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Nine miles to go and you feel energised, refreshed and totally up for the long haul to the Bangor in Wales.

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"I'm so glad you decided to go on HUKD and saw that gravely, handsome and attractive filth-wizard's post which led you to take his advice and purchase that back massager from that site!"

You thank your partner and whip out a packet of 7dayshop.com/pro…223 - wiggle your eyebrows and wedding bells toll, champagne falls from the clouds and dogs and cats, live together in perfect harmony.


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Thank me later, when you find he/she using it by themselves next February 13th.
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