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    0ld bird 50ish going paintballing with team at work average age 25..Advice/ first aid tips needed.

    Is going for a full day of Paintballing with my team.....Oh lordy lordy lordy...when asked to go, I looked elated and said ''Hell ,yes count me in'' Given time to consider that -The average age of my team is 25 and that I am 50. a grandmother, is generally unfit and I will be runnning around a muddy wood for 8 hours in combat wear,being shot at .... I thought ''hell no''..But then it occured to me that the 'enemy' may well be less experienced at shooting to kill, on site, and asking questions later...I think I might actually be good at this. So am now in training for the event, I am concentrating on S.A.S style rolls on the floor, tree climbing sniper tactics and taking every precaution on the NOT breaking a nail and keeping make up and hair in tact, tactics. I have until April 22nd to become a battlefield expert. This is not Wii..I need all the help I can get...!

    64 Comments

    Banned

    I have no experience paintballing but wish you good luck!

    I hated paintballing. It hurt.

    I put my gun up when I was hit and was shot several times

    Stupid way to spend an afternoon. But yeah... Enjoy yourself

    Do you bruise/hurt easily? If so I would prepare a few ice packs for later on.

    just don't go

    Ha ha good on you!

    While you're in training, if your muscles get sore I would highly recommend the herbal plasters you buy in pound world. they work wonders for me, even though I was highly skeptical at first.

    They are large, beside the heat packs etc and there are 3 in a pack.

    Wear a padded bra. It hurts like hell getting shot there!

    My advice is to do the sarnies and squash!

    Well done!

    I hope you enjoy yourself and do not get too hurt! Being padded up is the best idea, these things can hurt a bit. Also being able to laugh at yourself is a major plus point - but it looks like you score well on that too!

    Original Poster

    The advice I have received so far is invaluable, thank you so much, Padded bra, fantastic.! Don't go, very wise, but am in this to the possible death, do the sarnies and squash, god why did I not think of that, Herbal plasters....maybe, Vodka painkilles defo..
    Yes I do bruise very easily, I bruise if someone raises their voice to me.!

    You can borrow my paint ball kit if you like?






    http://www.robot-costumes.com/NewTrin_7_op_324x600.jpg

    Original Poster

    splatsplatsplat

    You can borrow my paint ball kit if you like?Do you have that in … You can borrow my paint ball kit if you like?Do you have that in 'slimming' black.? if so whats the postage.? and do the boots come in a sling back version....I waxed recently and am keen to get me pins out.


    OP, Prepare your last will and testament...........think of who will be left behind. oO

    I advise you to wear one of these if you want to avoid bruises X)

    [img]t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQvS6LcKsVHO8hALu4Kcu9zXRQVZiizZLNLF3KoQ240QmOyZcXm1w[/img]

    Layers of clothes is my tip - even then we still bruised really easily lol

    Had great fun though - play dead, get the enemy to come up close and shoot point blank in the chest

    Worked for me X)

    Edited by: "choc1969" 12th Mar 2012

    Original Poster

    jeany123

    I advise you to wear one of these if you want to avoid bruises … I advise you to wear one of these if you want to avoid bruises X)[img]http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQvS6LcKsVHO8hALu4Kcu9zXRQVZiizZLNLF3KoQ240QmOyZcXm1w[/img]


    Love it......but not wearing owt that makes me look fat, chick thing, die...but die looking good. x

    Banned

    Dunfy's Rules Of Paintball

    1 Stick the Yellow Pages down your top for extra protection.

    2 There's bound to be some gobby **** on your team who thinks they know it all. Shoot them first.

    3 Walk (don't run) straight through the middle of the playing area towards the enemy shouting "Come and get some, you mother ****".

    4 If you run out of ammo, use your gun as a club.

    5 Win

    Lol. nice post Ginner

    http://www.xtremepaintballs.com/admin/images/Paintball-lotofballs.jpg

    Original Poster

    dunfyboy

    Dunfy's Rules Of Paintball1 Stick the Yellow Pages down your top for … Dunfy's Rules Of Paintball1 Stick the Yellow Pages down your top for extra protection. 2 There's bound to be some gobby **** on your team who thinks they know it all. Shoot them first.3 Walk (don't run) straight through the middle of the playing area towards the enemy shouting "Come and get some, you mother ****".4 If you run out of ammo, use your gun as a club.5 Win



    Love it, sound advice, when I am fatally injured I expect you to run in with the morphine....Thanks you in advance. x

    Btw, you might want to watch the PB episode of Byker Grove. Poor PJ was never the same.

    Banned

    I liked it and its hardly pain really its like getting whipped, instant shock pain but the pain is over in a few seconds

    Original Poster

    Bully


    Of which, upon checking in the loo....I have none.! But I appreciate your efforts to ''man me up'' and am trying really hard, honest I am..!

    Original Poster

    HUKDeLITE

    I liked it and its hardly pain really its like getting whipped, instant … I liked it and its hardly pain really its like getting whipped, instant shock pain but the pain is over in a few seconds


    Okey dokey...thanks for that....Think the S&,M in me may be deep rooted but will try some no pain no gain stuff, the heels I wear for work may be a starting point. x

    I will be rooting for you.

    Wear a sanitary towel/tena lady incase someone surprises you in the woods.

    The youngsters will be leaping around wildly and taking chances.

    You must play by stealth and let the young 'uns wear themselves out before making your move.

    Essentials....

    Nail file. Nothing more distracting than a frayed nail.

    Mint sweets to suck. Just in case you get winded and some handsome chap tries to give you mouth to mouth.

    Matching underwear. Afterwards you may join in with showing off your bruises.

    Lipstick. You still want to look good even if you have been shot.

    Spray your anti perspirant/deodorant not just under your arms before you go but also other sweat points such as back of the neck, small of the back, under the bosom and backs of knees. Visible sweat is never a good look.

    Talc your inner thighs to prevent chaffing in your combat trousers.

    Have fun!

    Original Poster

    funny.onion

    I will be rooting for you.Wear a sanitary towel/tena lady incase someone … I will be rooting for you.Wear a sanitary towel/tena lady incase someone surprises you in the woods.The youngsters will be leaping around wildly and taking chances.You must play by stealth and let the young 'ibs wear themselves out before making your move. Essentials....Nail file. Nothing more distracting than a frayed nail.Mint sweets to suck. Just in case you get winded and some handsome chap tries to give you mouth to mouth.Matching underwear. Afterwards you may join in with showing off your bruises.Lipstick. You still want to look good even if you have been shot.Spray your anti perspirant/deodorant not just under your arms before you go but also other sweat points such as back of the neck, small of the back, under the bosom and backs of knees. Visible sweat is never a good look.Talx your inner thighs to prevent chaffing in your combat trousers.Have fun!


    Epic....truly Epic, have so written this down and it will form the opening paragraphs of my''Survive Paintball Bible'' Thank you so much. The talcum powder bit is so useful, as It brought back the days of school cross country running, when I was a chubby ginger kid, I would have paid to have had talcum powder, to stop the chaffing.....

    http://www.auntyandreasstags.com/images/paintball-chicas2.jpg

    ^^ if you end up like this then you'll be able to stun the guys, whilst they are in a trance you need to whip out your gun and shoot them.

    Also, make some paintball cupcakes;

    http://dolce.swaymyway.com/img/081226-paintballcupcakes-02.jpg

    Original Poster

    sickly sweet

    ^^ if you end up like this then you'll be able to stun the guys, whilst … ^^ if you end up like this then you'll be able to stun the guys, whilst they are in a trance you need to whip out your gun and shoot them.



    As it happens I do look like that in my gym gear..................Then I wake up and look like a female Iggy Pop, you know all leathery and saggy, but up for the challenge of appearing on national Tv looking a pratt....''Get Swift Covered'' wonders if the life insurance policies cover daft granma's putting out a hip at paintball?

    Ginner

    The advice I have received so far is invaluable, thank you so much, … The advice I have received so far is invaluable, thank you so much, Padded bra, fantastic.! Don't go, very wise, but am in this to the possible death, do the sarnies and squash, god why did I not think of that, Herbal plasters....maybe, Vodka painkilles defo..Yes I do bruise very easily, I bruise if someone raises their voice to me.!




    As well as upper padding, you may like to consider wearing shorts underneath long trousers just for extra layers between the point of impact & your rear. That will bruise too.

    For strategy, I would suggest letting those half your age run around like lunatics & get shot (& out of ammunition & ultimately the match) whilst you bide your time & pick off the shots when the others are too busy trying to gain ground advancing on their opposition.

    The last time I went paintballing I was on every winning team of each round & I was eventually the ultimate "last one standing" using a similar tactic. Everybody else bought additional balls of paint at the end of each round, but by the end of all the matches I still had some of my initial allocation left!

    If you find yourself in a firing line when, say, collecting a tennis ball from the other team's area & returning it to a central location, do not move (run) in a predictable line; vary the direction of travel & also the speed so your motion cannot be predicted. This will waste the opposition's ammunition as they fire where they think you are going to be.

    If you find yourself face-to-face with somebody & feel you will not be able to fire back in time, take a very acute angle & move in a zig-zag ("tacking") motion to the extremes of the side of the opposition's range of view; at least 45 degrees to their forward view.

    The masks to protect the face/head do not lend themselves to seeing sideways quickly so if you alternate your movement the other player will find it hard to "lock on" to your position.

    That said, you will get hit, even if just by stray shots (sometimes from your own team). If the experience isn't for you, don't feel bad for retiring early. The fact you are taking part at all is an achievement!

    PS. Also it is normal to get very hot inside the mask & for the screen to mist up from your breath. Depending on your usual level of fitness, your heart rate will increase because of the rush of adrenaline & you may even find yourself out of breath. Take it easy & enjoy yourself. You had nothing to prove to anybody else. Also, drink sufficient fluid after each round to replace any loss due to perspiring. Being dehydrated & increasing physical activity do not mix!

    Have fun!

    BFN,

    fp.
    Edited by: "fanpages" 12th Mar 2012

    haha....have fun...u sound like a fun person

    Original Poster

    sickly sweet

    Also, make some paintball cupcakes;



    Mmmm, Nom Noms, the cupcakes look so much more inviting to compared to the degredation and mud and pain I am about to endure, could it be worse than childbirth.? I did that three times, learned my lesson now....No more babies, no sir not me,no, not that I have a womb anymore or anything..

    there will be death

    Original Poster

    Hissy Miss

    Btw, you might want to watch the PB episode of Byker Grove. Poor PJ was … Btw, you might want to watch the PB episode of Byker Grove. Poor PJ was never the same.


    Err did'nt that dude die...? well at least the charachter, Thankfully I am a celeb jungle fan and knows that he went on to be a national treasure(sort of) If I was to be paid to spend time in any hot place earning what they earn..I will take a paintball in the eye.

    Ginner

    Err did'nt that dude die...? well at least the charachter, Thankfully I … Err did'nt that dude die...? well at least the charachter, Thankfully I am a celeb jungle fan and knows that he went on to be a national treasure(sort of) If I was to be paid to spend time in any hot place earning what they earn..I will take a paintball in the eye.



    He went blind.

    http://letterstotelevision.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/pj-duncan.jpg

    I remember when I was back at our starting area - and I was the only one left on the team.
    It was 20 a side.

    There were 6-8 of them left at the end - and they didnt understand why the game hadn't been called over. There was me behind a barricade - slightly panicing .... So they start casually walking and I jump out and shoot 2 of them......before getting absolutely anhiliated from all directions - that one hurt a bit

    Basically don't be on your own at the end - the other team like to shoot up the final person a lot!

    Edited by: "Firefly1" 12th Mar 2012

    Original Poster

    Firefly1

    I remember when I was back at our starting area - and I was the only one … I remember when I was back at our starting area - and I was the only one left on the team.It was 20 a side.There were 6-8 of them left at the end - and they didnt understand why the game hadn't been called over. There was me behind a barricade - slightly panicing .... So they start casually walking and I jump out and shoot 2 of them......before getting absolutely anhiliated from all directions - that one hurt a bit :(Basically don't be on your own at the end - the other team like to shoot up the final person a lot!



    Oh dear me..am going to die in hail of bullets...and no one will care because am old...they will just say''well she had a good innings''

    Original Poster

    sickly sweet

    Err did'nt that dude die...? well at least the charachter, Thankfully I … Err did'nt that dude die...? well at least the charachter, Thankfully I am a celeb jungle fan and knows that he went on to be a national treasure(sort of) If I was to be paid to spend time in any hot place earning what they earn..I will take a paintball in the eye.[/quotHe went blind.




    Oh gowd I need to dig out the fake Ray Bans I bought off here last year, also need to retrain my idiot Beagle to be an assistance dog...if the Paintball don't kill me the idiot dog with zero road sense will, am doomed either way...Anyone have a hot deal on undertakers.?

    Take you own paintballs but freeze them first (just kidding). To save money - feel free to turn your gun upside down whilst firing - you will just shoot air, not paint balls, but it will keep the oppositions heads down when they hear the noise.

    Be prepared to get very hot, sweaty, dirty,smelly, makeup less, bruised and ache from head to toe the next day , Have fun X)

    Milkfloat

    Take you own paintballs but freeze them first (just kidding). To save … Take you own paintballs but freeze them first (just kidding). To save money - feel free to turn your gun upside down whilst firing - you will just shoot air, not paint balls, but it will keep the oppositions heads down when they hear the noise.



    We used this tactic to provide fake cover for the last member of our team when we ran out of paintballs, just kept firing the empty run. It worked as he managed to get around the side of the thier last two players and take them out. (Yes i know you are meant to walk off when you have no ammo )
    Edited by: "ZedEx" 13th Mar 2012
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