12 Step Recovery Program For Web Addicts

1. I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my PAPER newspaper like I used to, before the Web.

2. I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing.

3. I will get dressed before noon.

4.I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan dinner before even thinking of the Web.

5. I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends and family that are Web-deprived.

6. I will call someone on the phone who I cannot contact via the Web.

7. I will read a book... if I still remember how.

8. I will listen to those around me about their needs and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the Web.

9. I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for email.

10. I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, if it is necessary or not.

11. I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my checkbook because I was too busy on the Web.

12. Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed sometime... and the Web will always be there tomorrow!

4 Comments

OMG, i can totally relate to some of those points :oops:

Original Poster

My computer crashed and died today
And I thought, "oh well what the hey"
Now I'd have time to clean my house
And see if I still had a spouse

It started out with weird frustrations
Combined with mild heart palpitations
And then my ankles began to swell
Withdrawal symptoms from no AOL

Chills ran up and down my spine
Oh, God I had to get on-line
To greet my buds and check my mail
I began to feel helpless and frail

Then I remembered the Good Guy's Store
And all those computers by the door
I'd go there and when alone
With no one looking I'd sign-on

I stepped up to a computer, clicked on AOL
The Sign-On screen came up, man it sure looked swell
I clicked on the Guest name, then came the modem sound
I was having cold-sweats, as my heart began to pound

Then I typed my password, and the computer said, "Goodbye"
And that's what I kept hearing each time that I would try.
This was just an evil plot, the store was playing tricks
If only they had known how bad I need my AOL fix

I ...slowly... typed... my... password... then...I... stood....and...waited
The darned thing said , "Goodbye" again and I got real frustrated
That's when I shoved the keyboard thru the monitor screen
And the last thing I remember is my loud shrieking scream

When I woke I was handcuffed being booked
I think I asked the data entry cop, if he'd get me a drink
Now I'm sitting in his chair, and I know I can get well
If I can just use his computer to sign on AOL.

Banned

funny if it wasnt so true in my instance!

Might print it off and place next to my pc

number 11 can be done on the Web. :thumbsup: :roll:
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