A little male bashing ...............but tff

    1.Men are like .......Laxatives .... They irritate the crap out of you.

    2.Men are like ....... Bananas .... The older they get, the less firm they are.

    3.Men are like ....... Weather ... Nothing can be done to change them..

    4.Men are like ....... Blenders ... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

    5.Men are like ...... Chocolate Bars ... Sweet, smooth, &they usually head right for your hips.

    6.Men are like ...... Commercials .... You can't believe a word they say.

    7.Men are like ...... Department Stores ... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.

    8.Men are like ....... Government Bonds ... They take soooooooo long to mature.

    9.Men are like ..... Mascara .... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

    10.Men are like ...... Popcorn . .. They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

    11.Men are like . Snowstorms ... You never know when they're coming,
    how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

    12.Men are like ..... Lava Lamps ... Fun to look at, but not very bright.

    13.Men are like ....... Parking Spots .... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.



    Sexist! REPORTED

    [SIZE="1"]Just kidding[/SIZE]

    Being A Crip And A Good Husband And Father I Resent No.13


    'I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.'
    --Tom Clancy

    'You know 'that look' women get when they want sex?

    Me neither.'
    --Steve Martin

    'Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.'

    --Woody Allen

    'Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.'
    --Rodney Dangerfield

    'There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL.'
    --Lynn Lavner

    'Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist.'
    --Matt Barry

    'Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.'
    --George Burns

    'Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.'
    --Sharon Stone

    'My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.'
    --Jack Nicholson

    ' Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.'
    --Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady -- and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)

    Love that one!!!

    'Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.'
    --Robin Williams

    'Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.'
    --Billy Crystal

    'According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.'
    --Robert De Niro

    'There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms.
    They say they cause severe swelling.

    So what's the problem?'
    --Dustin Hoffman

    'Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house.'
    --Rod Stewart

    'See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a *****, and only enough blood to run one at a time.'
    --Robin Williams

    Original Poster


    Being A Crip And A Good Husband And Father I Resent No.13didnt mean to … Being A Crip And A Good Husband And Father I Resent No.13didnt mean to offend but i dont read it as handicapped in disabled senseI read it as being emotionally handicapped which so many men and woman are, im very lucky as if any of you recognise me from my profile there reads married to heavens missing angel. I found one of the good guys and hes all mine:thumbsup:I AM NOT A ****ING PARKING SPOT lol

    im not upset in the least carry on with the crip jokes i honestly dont mind i find them funny:-D
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