A poem for the thread that just disappeared (Who is the I and why?)

21 replies
Found 9th May 2008
Just posted it and the thread is pulled. All that work for nothing?!

So here it is: (one post 1)

And a question for all you critical readers: Who is the "I" in the poem and why?

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21 Comments

Original Poster

I'm happy to report that that thread has inspired me to write a poem, which I will share with you without any regard to reactions!

Talking Poo on HUKD Misc
Laying traps to so prevail
To slice fresh flesh on rusty nail
Confronting self through hapless other
Forgetting learning from good mother
Walls of discourse built of sh*t
Can it be they don’t see it?
If they could see, if they could see
That I am learning to be me!

So, whaddya fink? Good eh? Please don't say cr*p ...

And a question for all you critical readers: Who is the "I" in the poem and why?

So thats what the mod's thought of it then ..

Original Poster

GoDutchGo;2066568

So thats what the mod's thought of it then ..



Seems like. And I thought it was good poem :-D

Whatever happened to Freedom of Speech?? And I was just getting back onto the original subject as well - poo - by drawing everyone's attention to the op's (on the original thread) Occupation!!

BTW, great poem.

Liddle ol' me;2066578

Seems like. And I thought it was good poem :-D



No accounting for taste - or lack of in this case :x

Original Poster

GoDutchGo;2066586

No accounting for taste - or lack of in this case :x



hmm...my lack of tast or theirs? Your angry face worries me...:?

Liddle ol' me;2066602

hmm...my lack of tast or theirs? Your angry face worries me...:?



And so it should ... a bear with a sore head ... I should runnnnnnnnnn

Original Poster

GoDutchGo;2066607

And so it should ... a bear with a sore head ... I should runnnnnnnnnn



Ok, scarper then, without even answering either of the two questions. :-(

GoDutchGo;2066607

And so it should ... a bear with a sore head ... I should runnnnnnnnnn



Liddle ol' me;2066602

hmm...my lack of tast or theirs? Your angry face worries me...:?



You wanted an answer well the mods of course ... leave the rest to your poetic license:-D

Poximo ?

Original Poster

rockyfella;2066693

Poximo ?



Could be - but you'd need to present some evidence so we know it is not just a guess. Let's see some literary criticism here. As you know, criticism is all subjective - or bullsh*t - so no need to worry about grades on here...

Liddle ol' me;2066554

I'm happy to report that that thread has inspired me to write a poem, … I'm happy to report that that thread has inspired me to write a poem, which I will share with you without any regard to reactions! Talking Poo on HUKD MiscLaying traps to so prevail[COLOR="Red"]A few on here love to draw other posters into an arguement, Poxi included.[/COLOR]To slice fresh flesh on rusty nail[COLOR="Red"]Obviously a referance to the poor n00bies..LOL...That's anyone with less posts than himself[/COLOR]Confronting self through hapless otherForgetting learning from good mother[COLOR="Red"]Ignoring advice from Mother2[/COLOR]Walls of discourse built of sh*tCan it be they don’t see it?[COLOR="Red"]Everybody but Poxi is blind/ignorant.[/COLOR]If they could see, if they could seeThat I am learning to be me![COLOR="Red"]Poor guy is so young he's still not sure of his sexuallity[/COLOR]So, whaddya fink? Good eh? Please don't say cr*p ...And a question for all you critical readers: Who is the "I" in the poem and why?

Original Poster

rockyfella;2066693

Talking Poo on HUKD MiscLaying traps to so prevail[COLOR="Red"]A few on … Talking Poo on HUKD MiscLaying traps to so prevail[COLOR="Red"]A few on here love to draw other posters into an arguement, Poxi included.[/COLOR]To slice fresh flesh on rusty nail[COLOR="red"]Obviously a referance to the poor n00bies..LOL...That's anyone with less posts than himself[/COLOR]Confronting self through hapless otherForgetting learning from good mother[COLOR="red"]Ignoring advice from Mother2[/COLOR]Walls of discourse built of sh*tCan it be they don’t see it?[COLOR="red"]Everybody but Poxi is blind/ignorant.[/COLOR]If they could see, if they could seeThat I am learning to be me![COLOR="red"]Poor guy is so young he's still not sure of his sexuallity[/COLOR]



Ok, that's pretty good. :thumbsup:

A couple of points:
* Mother2 I don't know - presume that is another member? The mother in my poem is more of a generic reference to the role of mothers as moral guardians/teachers of children.
* When you say "everyone is blind..." I presume you mean from his point of view, right?
* Wasn't thinking of sexuality at all. More of a reference to learning and development - again in more general ways.

EDIT: What about "the walls of discourse"? Any thoughts on that?

Original Poster

andthere is much more to say about these two lines I think:

Confronting self through hapless other
Forgetting learning from good mother


rockyfella? or anybody else?

Banned

dont do cryptic, you got the easy version?

Original Poster

sassie;2067021

dont do cryptic, you got the easy version?



The easy version is everyday speech. The point of poerty, at least for me, is that is can say much with few words. The pleasure of poetry is that it prompts you to think about things from different angles. You have to spend time with the subject and analyse it, and in that process, new meanings can be opened to you. The 'easy version' is exactly that - easy. Easy because you don't learn anything. You just have your own take on things reinforced, your own worldview validated. Poerty can shake you out of that complacency. And I know from some of the things you say on here sassy that you have a sharp enough mind - why not exercise it with a little analysis instead of waiting for the easy version...?

Banned

to me it is just having a stab at someone with the back out clause of poetry

Original Poster

sassie;2067087

to me it is just having a stab at someone with the back out clause of … to me it is just having a stab at someone with the back out clause of poetry



ah, but only if it is about someone in particular, and only if it is about someone else. rocky's interpretation is just one possible answer. What's yours?

EDIT: and btw, as author, I can assure you it is not a 'stab' at anyone. It has deeply positive meanings. The last line is the "climax" of this poem and should be where you begin to look for meaning...

Laying traps to so prevail
To slice fresh flesh on rusty nail
Confronting self through hapless other
Forgetting learning from good mother
Walls of discourse built of sh*t
Can it be they don’t see it?
If they could see, if they could see
That I am learning to be me!

well your no Heaney :P

Original Poster

Mclovin;2067133

well your no Heaney :P



hehe ... aww, gimme a break, this took a whole 4-5 mins of my time to write! Which reminds me, gimme a minute and I'll post the one you like... :thumbsup:

edit: and btw, another lazy poster! Can't you offer any interpretation?

Original Poster

Mid-term Break

I sat all morning in the college sick bay
Counting bells knelling classes to a close,
At two o'clock our neighbors drove me home.

In the porch I met my father crying--
He had always taken funerals in his stride--
And Big Jim Evans saying it was a hard blow.

The baby cooed and laughed and rocked the pram
When I came in, and I was embarrassed
By old men standing up to shake my hand

And tell me they were "sorry for my trouble,"
Whispers informed strangers I was the eldest,
Away at school, as my mother held my hand

In hers and coughed out angry tearless sighs.
At ten o'clock the ambulance arrived
With the corpse, stanched and bandaged by the nurses.

Next morning I went up into the room. Snowdrops
And candles soothed the bedside; I saw him
For the first time in six weeks. Paler now,

Wearing a poppy bruise on the left temple,
He lay in the four foot box as in a cot.
No gaudy scars, the bumper knocked him clear.

A four foot box, a foot for every year.

Seamus Heaney
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