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    Advice needed on neighbour

    I hope i have posted this in the corrrect post

    i need advice on what can be done about my neighbour.My son who is 14 and his brother who is 6 was in the garden jumping on our trampoline.We have a communal garden and is not fenced of or anything,anyway it was around 5pm when they was playing when my neighbour starting giving my sons abuse and swearing at them because he has had enough of them jumping on the trampoline they came in and told me and i was shocked.My 14 year old is on trampoline most evenings but only on it for around 10 mins then has a break .He is not the sort of person to talk to and resolve the situation,this is not the first time he has been like this and the other occassions i have just dropped.and done nothing.I want something done now as the younger one is worried to go out in the garden now.

    what can i do where do i stand
    any advice will be helpful

    54 Comments

    have you been round and tried to discuss it in an adult manner?

    what does yr tenancy agreement say regarding use of and rules regarding communal space?

    Wasn't there a similar post on here not long ago?

    diabeticguy;8845206

    Wasn't there a similar post on here not long ago?



    lots of trampoline ones and fair few neighbour ones too

    perhaps your neighbour was having a bad day or is upset in some way for another reason and the boing boing was peeing him off!!!!

    Go and see your neighbour, and politely ask him what the problem is. Tell him also in future that if he has an issue with your children to come and tell you rather than shouting abuse at them. I would also inform him that the next time he shouts and swears at your children that you will have no other option than to call the police.

    I would have no probs if a neighbour said to my children, 'do you mind giving it a rest for a bit', but would be livid if they were sworn at, I don't understand what people think gives them the right to be cruel to kids, if he had an issue he should be coming to you not tkaing it out on them!

    Original Poster

    he is not the sort of person to sort out man to man

    go out and bounce on it yourself for a bit,and see what happens
    (you could also try waving at them in a manic fashion,that outta do the trick)

    Original Poster

    to be honest i have not read my tennacy aggrement but was going to the council tomorrow to see what they have to say

    With any dispute and particularly with a neighbour, having a chat is by far the best way of dealing with the situation.

    Do not be aggressive and just enquire what the problem is. The neighbour may have a point, so listen to their concerns. See if you can work through it.

    I guarantee it will be more likely to bring a resolution than having a pop at the guy.

    Good luck.
    Graham

    Original Poster

    he does like a drink but he was not drunk

    hgvdriver;8845219

    he is not the sort of person to sort out man to man


    And you know this because you have attempted to resolve it in such a manner on a previous occasion? Or are you assuming?

    Confronting the neighbour about this incident should be done in a calm manner. It is very easy to have veiled aggression and an accusatory tone when starting such a conversation, and in such circumstances it would not be unusual to be met with aggression back. But if you genuinely tone it down and approach the situation in a neutral manner, it will be difficult for the neighbour to spring aggression from nowhere. If you haven't attempted to talk it through in such a manner to date, I would suggest that this is the first place to start.

    has any of the other neighbours complained/said anything about your children and the trampoline...can I ask is the neighbour in question an elderly man???

    Banned

    http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/parking-ticket-geek/assets_c/2009/10/Baseball%20bat-thumb-288x432-25609.jpg
    You could always introduce him to the new tenancy liason officer

    they came in and told me


    how do you know your children are telling the truth?

    Original Poster

    michelleleemoo;8845202

    what does yr tenancy agreement say regarding use of and rules regarding … what does yr tenancy agreement say regarding use of and rules regarding communal space?



    boothy;8845184

    have you been round and tried to discuss it in an adult manner?



    silkymolo;8845218

    Go and see your neighbour, and politely ask him what the problem is. Tell … Go and see your neighbour, and politely ask him what the problem is. Tell him also in future that if he has an issue with your children to come and tell you rather than shouting abuse at them. I would also inform him that the next time he shouts and swears at your children that you will have no other option than to call the police.I would have no probs if a neighbour said to my children, 'do you mind giving it a rest for a bit', but would be livid if they were sworn at, I don't understand what people think gives them the right to be cruel to kids, if he had an issue he should be coming to you not tkaing it out on them!



    he will not come and tell me what the problem is he would rather have a go at the children thats his way or no way

    diabeticguy;8845223

    http://www.hotukdeals.com/item/661935/advice-needed-over-trampoline-and-nhttp://www.hotukdeals.com/item/664947/it-is-a-misconception-follow-on-fro



    wow, a trampoline and neighbour thread :-D

    hgvdriver;8845234

    to be honest i have not read my tennacy aggrement but was going to the … to be honest i have not read my tennacy aggrement but was going to the council tomorrow to see what they have to say



    it would be advisable to go armed with the right information, you should read them before you go any further, you will look silly if it states not to erect anything in communal areas and you go complaining

    hgvdriver;8845267

    he will not come and tell me what the problem is he would rather have a … he will not come and tell me what the problem is he would rather have a go at the children thats his way or no way

    But have you actually spoken to him?

    Original Poster

    They was telling the truth i have stood at my window and heard him but as i said let the matter go before

    Crazy Jamie;8845276

    But have you actually spoken to him?



    if someone came out cursing at my young son I would call the police and get them to sort it - as there isnt any excuse for a grown man to be shouting abuse like that to children:)

    Original Poster

    no i have not been to see him he not the sort of person he puts his mouth into action first

    hgvdriver;8845282

    They was telling the truth i have stood at my window and heard him but as … They was telling the truth i have stood at my window and heard him but as i said let the matter go before



    so you stood at the window while your kids were being sworn at and verbally abused and did nothing?


    have you actually ever spoken to this person,ever?

    Ever thought that your children could be really annoying?

    pinkleponkle;8845304

    Ever thought that your children could be really annoying?




    I find most children annoying :giggle:

    Banned

    pinkleponkle;8845304

    Ever thought that your children could be really annoying?



    choc1969;8845316

    I find most children annoying :giggle:



    Most children can be annoying but that does'nt give a stranger the right to swear at them. If someone had swore @ one of mine i would'nt be on a shopping forum discussing my options

    Original Poster

    ARNOLD115;8845255

    has any of the other neighbours complained/said anything about your … has any of the other neighbours complained/said anything about your children and the trampoline...can I ask is the neighbour in question an elderly man???



    no he is not

    use the CUDSA model
    C = confront the issue as adults "ive come round to speak to you about .......in the hope we can arrive at a solution.....
    U = understand where both parties are coming from, listen to his side and vice versa
    D = etermine what the actual problem is - is it the noise or is there an underlying issue
    S = eek a solution that will make all happy
    A = ction the solution

    If he doesnt want to act like an adult, contact you local CBM who should deal with quality of life issues

    Maybe he didnt swear at them, this is based on a child's account of what happened.

    are you scared of him?

    if so perhaps another adult could go around and speak to him


    otherwise fly through his door with a claw hammer at 3am...

    Banned

    set a trap.........send the kids out

    dress in a wolfs costume and hide............when he starts shouting, jump out .....chase after him and beat him up while screaming..........."this is what happens when the big bad wolf gets ya"

    Banned

    lottysdad08;8845329

    Most children can be annoying but that does'nt give a stranger the right … Most children can be annoying but that does'nt give a stranger the right to swear at them. If someone had swore @ one of mine i would'nt be on a shopping forum discussing my options



    +1
    someone swore at my 9 year old daughter once, they didn't again.
    If you feel threatened by him so that you cant go and talk to him, call the police.
    If he's the type of person you don't call the police on, then ask a large friend to go round

    I know children are not always the most truthful of beings, however why would OP's 6 year old now be scared of going into the garden if the whole scenario was fabricated by OP's kids???

    personally i would defo go around there put aside the fact that he is not very friendly - you cant leave it to happen again and you also have a scared child afraid to go outside, if it gets ugly call the police make sure the children are away from the situation it will only scare them further...good luck!

    bossyboots;8845293

    if someone came out cursing at my young son I would call the police and … if someone came out cursing at my young son I would call the police and get them to sort it - as there isnt any excuse for a grown man to be shouting abuse like that to children:)

    It's not 'someone' though is it? It's the neighbour. The OP has to live next to this person, and as such a more pragmatic approach is needed than calling the police before you've even spoken to the guy.

    hgvdriver

    They was telling the truth i have stood at my window and heard him but as … They was telling the truth i have stood at my window and heard him but as i said let the matter go before


    hgvdriver

    he is not the sort of person to sort out man to man


    hgvdriver

    no i have not been to see him he not the sort of person he puts his mouth … no i have not been to see him he not the sort of person he puts his mouth into action first

    Forgive my bluntness, but grow a spine and go around to talk to the guy. You're finding any excuse not to.

    Banned

    bossyboots;8845293

    if someone came out cursing at my young son I would call the police and … if someone came out cursing at my young son I would call the police and get them to sort it - as there isnt any excuse for a grown man to be shouting abuse like that to children:)



    think twice before wasting police time, they are not the answer to every little problem ffs

    Crazy Jamie;8845583

    It's not 'someone' though is it? It's the neighbour. .



    Okay I will rephrase that - if "a neighbour" starting being abusive to my young son, shouting and swearing, then I would call the police to report it.

    goldmax;8845724

    think twice before wasting police time, they are not the answer to every … think twice before wasting police time, they are not the answer to every little problem ffs



    No, but when a breach of the peace is being committed - they are the ones to call...........ffs.

    Banned

    bossyboots;8845801

    No, but when a breach of the peace is being committed - they are the ones … No, but when a breach of the peace is being committed - they are the ones to call...........ffs.



    ffs stop over reacting , we used to get shouted at by 'old' people as kids , can't remember the Sweeny turning up :?

    goldmax;8845848

    ffs stop over reacting , we used to get shouted at by 'old' people as … ffs stop over reacting , we used to get shouted at by 'old' people as kids , can't remember the Sweeny turning up :?



    god help your kids then if they ever get abuse like the OP's :roll:
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