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    advice regarding work and personal life

    serious replys only please! and dont judge me on this either.

    last friday i went to a lass from works house party and one of the fellas from work was there. one thing lead to another and you know what. also on monday i went over his for the night. hes now said he would like to see me when we are both of work next week before he goes on holiday.
    thing is i work in a care home and the lass whos house it was has told everyone and one of the residents has found out. he keeps saying sly comments and fishing for information from us and other staff. hes said that the manager is going to be discussing the matter with us at some point.
    my question is can i get into trouble for what i do out of work with another member of staff? surely if i want to start seeing someone from work it shouldnt be a problem unless it affects the way we work, which it isnt. also me or him werent the ones who told people and therefor cant be held accountable for this resident finding out? its doing my head in cos the gossips are loving it. hes also text me saying hes had them going on at him tonight.
    i dont want to upset anyone from work or put my job on the line. but as far as im aware we havent done anything wrong?

    126 Comments

    Gossips are loving it? So why bring it here then? More gossips here than anywhere.

    hey donna - i dont see it as you doing anything wrong - as you say as long as it doesnt affect yours or his personal work why should it matter. x

    You're totally right. What you get up to away from work is your business. As long as, like you say, it doesn't affect your work environment then carry on and make yourself happy. :thumbsup:

    Original Poster

    deek72;7557310

    Gossips are loving it? So why bring it here then? More gossips here than … Gossips are loving it? So why bring it here then? More gossips here than anywhere.



    cos yous dont personally know me :thumbsup:

    Banned

    I would have been disciplined lots in the past :-D

    Banned

    deek72;7557310

    Gossips are loving it? So why bring it here then? More gossips here than … Gossips are loving it? So why bring it here then? More gossips here than anywhere.



    I agree, how are you? :thumbsup:

    What does your contract state about workplace relationships?

    its got naff all to do with work what goes on in your private life

    Banned

    dirty stop out!! only joking. your manager wont tell you off dont worry

    Banned

    the porter;7557352

    are u a good girl now DLM?



    At the moment.

    Why do you want to corrupt me?

    Original Poster

    vikkiwathall;7557313

    hey donna - i dont see it as you doing anything wrong - as you say as … hey donna - i dont see it as you doing anything wrong - as you say as long as it doesnt affect yours or his personal work why should it matter. x



    hi chick!

    my boss can be a right nasty woman when she gets going, i could actually see her saying we cant see each other out of work unless one of us quits! im just worried its going to put a strain on my working relationship with her or even make me lose my job. arrghhhhh so stressed!!!

    thesaint;7557353

    What does your contract state about workplace relationships?



    this^^^

    donnaraine;7557331

    cos yous dont personally know me :thumbsup:



    Ah, I see. You bring it here because I don't personally know you. Right, :?

    DLM;7557343

    I agree, how are you? :thumbsup:



    Great thanks DLM. Just getting a little disillusioned of late. Fewer nice people on here than I thought, that's all.

    theyre only fishing to brighten up their sad little lives tbh, but as long as it doesnt affect your work (why should it!) you have no grounds to worry

    Original Poster

    thesaint;7557353

    What does your contract state about workplace relationships?



    tbh i dont think theres anything in there about it, not int he copy i recieved anyway. might be in the bigger file at work though but its trying to catch a peek without being caught

    donnaraine;7557381

    tbh i dont think theres anything in there about it, not int he copy i … tbh i dont think theres anything in there about it, not int he copy i recieved anyway. might be in the bigger file at work though but its trying to catch a peek without being caught



    your entitled to look at it if you want to

    Original Poster

    mrcareful;7557376

    theyre only fishing to brighten up their sad little lives tbh, but as … theyre only fishing to brighten up their sad little lives tbh, but as long as it doesnt affect your work (why should it!) you have no grounds to worry



    it wouldnt affect it at all, weve done 3 nightshifts together this week, on separate floors but still!

    Banned

    tell the guy in the carehome his days are numbered (serious)

    Why don't you ask your manager about your "friends" HYPOTHETICAL relationship with someone else at work? :whistling:

    donnaraine;7557381

    tbh i dont think theres anything in there about it, not int he copy i … tbh i dont think theres anything in there about it, not int he copy i recieved anyway. might be in the bigger file at work though but its trying to catch a peek without being caught



    You will have a full and complete copy of your contract, they can't have a confidential section that you've agreed to. :?

    angelfairee;7557406

    Why don't you ask your manager about your "friends" HYPOTHETICAL … Why don't you ask your manager about your "friends" HYPOTHETICAL relationship with someone else at work? :whistling:



    I have a 'hypothetical' relationship with you. :-D

    Original Poster

    angelfairee;7557406

    Why don't you ask your manager about your "friends" HYPOTHETICAL … Why don't you ask your manager about your "friends" HYPOTHETICAL relationship with someone else at work? :whistling:



    cos she will know about us already, im in with her on sunday so will see how she acts with me

    Original Poster

    thesaint;7557411

    You will have a full and complete copy of your contract, they can't have … You will have a full and complete copy of your contract, they can't have a confidential section that you've agreed to. :?



    so they cant refer to anything that i dont have a copy of myself? cos i just recieved my contract the other night and it never said anything in there. i havent signed it yet though :oops:

    Original Poster

    bykergrove;7557362

    dirty stop out!! only joking. your manager wont tell you off dont worry



    :w00t: im normally a good girl!!! im anything but a dirty stop out

    deek72;7557416

    I have a 'hypothetical' relationship with you. :-D



    Haha. I hope you've read the contract.

    donnaraine;7557423

    cos she will know about us already, im in with her on sunday so will see … cos she will know about us already, im in with her on sunday so will see how she acts with me



    If she already knows then you might as well just ask her if it affects you from an employment perspective and then go from there.

    donnaraine;7557463

    :w00t: im normally a good girl!!! im anything but a dirty stop out



    Don't let him call you a dirty stop out, he dates girls and then goes for their mothers!

    Banned

    the porter;7557402

    you cant corrupt someone as angelic as you :whistling:



    My wings are a little crooked :-D

    Original Poster

    angelfairee;7557472

    Don't let him call you a dirty stop out, he dates girls and then goes for … Don't let him call you a dirty stop out, he dates girls and then goes for their mothers!



    what a naughty boy!

    donnaraine;7557368

    hi chick!my boss can be a right nasty woman when she gets going, i could … hi chick!my boss can be a right nasty woman when she gets going, i could actually see her saying we cant see each other out of work unless one of us quits! im just worried its going to put a strain on my working relationship with her or even make me lose my job. arrghhhhh so stressed!!!



    She should just shove off - its your life - so what if your seeing him - unless it says in your contract u cannot see another staff member she aint got a leg to stand on x

    donnaraine;7557438

    so they cant refer to anything that i dont have a copy of myself? cos i … so they cant refer to anything that i dont have a copy of myself? cos i just recieved my contract the other night and it never said anything in there. i havent signed it yet though :oops:



    You are in a better position having not signed it, but they may "frown" against workplace relationships.

    You say how happy you are etc, but they don't care about that.
    It's when the relationship fails is when the fun at work begins.

    angelfairee;7557467

    Haha. I hope you've read the contract..



    I wrote the contact myself. Here it is:

    1. Feel free to do whatever you want in this 'hypothetical' relationship.
    2. Refer to rule No.1.

    Original Poster

    angelfairee;7557467

    Haha. I hope you've read the contract.If she already knows then you might … Haha. I hope you've read the contract.If she already knows then you might as well just ask her if it affects you from an employment perspective and then go from there.



    its a good idea, but its plucking up the nerves to ask her. actually the deputy is back on next week shes great so i might just have a word with her. it would be easier if i knew i was definetly going to start seeing the guy lol as its verrryyy early days atm

    thesaint;7557493

    You are in a better position having not signed it, but they may "frown" … You are in a better position having not signed it, but they may "frown" against workplace relationships.You say how happy you are etc, but they don't care about that. It's when the relationship fails is when the fun at work begins.



    This is true. Relationships with colleagues = rubbish.

    deek72;7557504

    I wrote the contact myself. Here it is:1. Feel free do do whatever you … I wrote the contact myself. Here it is:1. Feel free do do whatever you want in this 'hypothetical' relationship.2. Refer to rule No.1.



    I like it.

    dont 'do it' at work then you'll be fine i expect :lol:

    donnaraine;7557516

    its a good idea, but its plucking up the nerves to ask her. actually the … its a good idea, but its plucking up the nerves to ask her. actually the deputy is back on next week shes great so i might just have a word with her. it would be easier if i knew i was definetly going to start seeing the guy lol as its verrryyy early days atm



    I thought you've already been nailed? :thinking:

    thesaint;7557552

    I thought you've already been nailed? :thinking:



    thats what i thought, early days for me is going out...meal etc, think im getting old :w00t:

    Banned

    the porter;7557547

    really? is it possible they could get crookider if there is such a word?:)



    Probably

    Original Poster

    thesaint;7557552

    I thought you've already been nailed? :thinking:



    yeah i have :oops:

    but he keeps mentioning seeing me out of work so who knows what will happen?

    thesaint;7557552

    I thought you've already been nailed? :thinking:



    How very eloquent.

    Banned

    thesaint;7557552

    I thought you've already been nailed? :thinking:



    Nailing and dating are two different things
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