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    It's hard to believe people like this exist. Some of them are determined not to be helped. They must have been born & raised in a deep mineshaft and only brought out for these shows!

    UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
    Bamber Gascoigne: What was Ghandi's first name?
    Contestant: Goosey, Goosey?

    THE WEAKEST LINK
    Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet?
    Contestant: Jool carriageway.

    Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?
    Contestant: Bombay.

    Anne Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?
    Contestant: Crocodiles.
    Anne Robinson: Wh...?
    Contestant (interrupting): Pass!

    Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels, travelling entertainers or chocolate salesmen?
    Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.

    Anne Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...?
    Contestant: (long pause) Joe?

    Anne Robinson: Who was a famous Indian leader, whose name begins with G, revered by millions, who was assassinated and received a state funeral?
    Contestant: Geronimo!

    NATIONAL LOTTERY JET SET
    Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the initials G.B.S.?
    Contestant: William Shakespeare.

    CHRIS SEARLE SHOW, BBC BRISTOL
    Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
    Caller: Japan.
    Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.
    Caller: Er... Mexico?

    FAMILY FORTUNES
    1) Something a blind man might use? - A Sword

    2) A song with the word Moon in the title? - Blue Suede Moon

    3) Name the capital of France? - F

    4) Name a bird with a long Neck? - Naomi Campbell

    5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? - A burglar

    6) Where is the Taj Mahal? - Opposite the Dental Hospital

    7) What is Hitler's first name? - Heil

    A famous Scotsman? - Jock

    9) Some famous brothers? - Bonnie and Clyde.

    10) A dangerous race? - The Arabs

    11) Something that floats in a bath? - Water

    12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? - A horse

    13) Something you wear on a beach? - A deckchair

    14) A famous Royal? - Mail

    15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? - A bicycle with wings

    16) A famous bridge? - The Bridge Over Troubled Waters

    17) Something a cat does? - Goes to the toilet

    18) Something you do in the bathroom? - Decorate

    19) A method of securing your home? - Put the kettle on

    20) Something associated with pigs? - The Police

    21) A sign of the Zodiac? - April

    22) Something people might be allergic to? - Skiing

    23) Something you do before you go to bed? - Sleep

    24) Something you put on walls? - A roof

    25) Something slippery? - A conman

    26) A kind of ache? - A fillet of fish

    27) A jacket potato topping? - Jam

    28) A food that can be brown or white? - A potato

    29) Something sold by gypsies? - Bananas

    30) Something red? - My sweater

    RADIO LINCS PHONE-IN
    Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
    Contestant: Barcelona.
    Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
    Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.

    STEVE WRIGHT SHOW, RADIO 2
    Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube?
    Contestant: India.

    Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway?
    Contestant: Espresso.

    Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney.
    Contestant: Sydney.

    THIS MORNING
    Judy Finnegan: The American TV show 'The Sopranos' is about opera. True or false?
    Contestant: True?
    Judy Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an American TV show,so I'll give you that.

    BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE
    Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
    Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.

    BOB HOPE BIRTHDAY QUIZ, LBC
    Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons?
    Contestant: Four


    DARYL'S DRIVETIME, VIRGIN RADIO
    Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
    Contestant: Holland?
    Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
    Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
    Daryl Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
    Contestant: No.

    10 Comments

    Long - but loved it!

    brilliant ! lol

    :-D:-D:-D:soooooo funny

    Original Poster

    These are my favourites:-

    27) A jacket potato topping? - Jam

    28) A food that can be brown or white? - A potato

    29) Something sold by gypsies? - Bananas

    lol these were funny! haha

    Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet?
    Contestant: Jool carriageway.

    Anne Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?
    Contestant: Crocodiles.
    Anne Robinson: Wh...?
    Contestant (interrupting): Pass!

    Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels, travelling entertainers or chocolate salesmen?
    Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.

    My fave...

    Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.

    lol

    Banned

    i thought the last one was best!

    I was listening to a phone in on Talksport radio the other day.

    They were discussing politicians and one guy on the phone said:

    "they have loads of bad faults but not many of them have good faults"

    23) Something you do before you go to bed? - Sleep
    lol this had me crying
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