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    any funny jokes?

    im bored

    18 Comments

    A man walks into a Bar.

    Ouch.

    Original Poster

    dnt get it

    Q. What is round and cant drive a tractor ?

    A. An orange

    what is green and runs around your garden?



















    a hedge........................:p

    Original Poster

    dont get it,lol

    Original Poster

    Charlie Scene;6689027

    what is green and runs around your garden?a … what is green and runs around your garden?a hedge........................:p



    better,lol

    Charlie Scene;6689027

    what is green and runs around your garden?I tittered :giggle:a … what is green and runs around your garden?I tittered :giggle:a hedge........................:p

    http://www.littlebritain.tv/pagedata/userimages/Image/Lou-and-Andy_LB_BBC.jpg

    what is green and smells of pork?




























    Kermit the frogs fingers........................................ :w00t:

    Charlie Scene;6689057

    what is green and smells of porKermit the frogs … what is green and smells of porKermit the frogs fingers........................................ :w00t:



    eeeew, ive just spat my hobnob all over :w00t:

    Original Poster

    lol gettin better

    What is red but not hot?










    Apple

    whats yellow and dangerous?

    shark infested custard

    Charlie Scene;6689057

    what is green and smells of pork?Kermit the frogs … what is green and smells of pork?Kermit the frogs fingers........................................ :w00t:



    lol! ... LOL! come on.. its late :P

    A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night when the wife asks her husband to stop the car.
    There was a baby skunk lying at the side of the road, and she got out to see if it was still alive.

    It was, and she said to her husband, Its nearly frozen to death. Can we take it with us, get it warm, and let it go in the morning?

    He says, O. K., Get in the car with it.

    Where shall I put it to get it warm?

    He says, Put it in between your legs. It's nice and warm there.

    But what about the smell?

    Just hold its little nose.

    The man is expected to recover, but the skunk she used to beat him with died at the scene.

    Why Men don't write advice colums...

    Dear Walter,


    I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help.

    When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbours daughter. I am 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbours daughter is 22. We have been married for ten years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past
    six months.

    I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was sacked from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won't go to counselling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore.

    Can you please help?

    Sincerely, Sheila

    -------------------------------


    Dear Sheila:

    A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no dirt in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.

    I hope this helps.


    Walter.
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