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    anyone know anything about the csa?

    my son lives with me from friday 2.30pm to monday 9.00am (3 nites and i have a court order stating we have shared residency) and spends the remainder of the time with his mother, she has just set the csa on me after 8 years of a mutual agreement because of a disagreement. they rang me tonite and said I have to start paying, I have allowed her to keep all of the benefits (even when he lived with me for 6 months and she only had him 2 nites a week) as she doesnt work so she claims his child tax credit and child benifit (even though we are entitled to them too as we have a dependent child and me and my partner are on a low wage) and now I have to pay maintenence. this to me seems unfair as I have him all weekend, I take him allover and buy all of his clothes. she gets all the benifits and I have to pay maintenence all because she has him 1 extra nite and she never takes him anywhere or buys him anything? doesnt seem fair to me.

    54 Comments

    time to play hard ball with her and say that unless she calls the dogs off. you will be explaining the benefits office and alike what you pay how long he stays with you etc

    if no luck go to the citizens advise bureau for free advice

    Are you sure your court order is a shared residency order, and not a contact order?
    It is extremely unusual for a court to grant a shared residency order.

    Cant give you any advice mate but my heart bleeds for you,This is the kind of thing that just ends up making things worse for the kids,Hope you can sort it,

    I don't know, but it sounds like you are a good father and put your son first and look after him well, we need more fathers like you and your son is very lucky.

    sucks dude hope you get it sorted , i applaud you stepping up to the mark and being a real dad, my wife knows if we split up i wont settle for anything less than 50% custody whether that be 4days 1 week 3 day next or 1 week on/off tho tbh very unlikely we'd ever split

    try talking to your ex maybe you can change arrangement andbe better off

    sorry i have no advise for you but good luck

    Hard ball, definitely.

    like denver said, tell her you will shop her to benefits agency if she doesn't back down, also tell her you will stop buying all his clothes. I personally would even threaten to take her to court for full custody.

    but then I'm a bit of a cow... lol

    if your a single man you have to earn over £200 a week before they take money off you .

    Original Poster

    denver70;6862059

    time to play hard ball with her and say that unless she calls the dogs … time to play hard ball with her and say that unless she calls the dogs off. you will be explaining the benefits office and alike what you pay how long he stays with you etcif no luck go to the citizens advise bureau for free advice



    I told the person from the csa how long he spent with me and she said it didnt make a difference. going to ring my solicitor tomorow but thought someone might have some inside advice.:thumbsup:

    ChipSticks;6862105

    Hard ball, definitely. like denver said, tell her you will shop her to … Hard ball, definitely. like denver said, tell her you will shop her to benefits agency if she doesn't back down, also tell her you will stop buying all his clothes. I personally would even threaten to take her to court for full custody. but then I'm a bit of a cow... lol



    I believe he still cares for his son, but the mother is taking the mick.

    dont agree with threatning full custody bit thats gonna cheese her off

    i have a few mates that pay hundred to their exes a month while they claim benifits and theyt dont even get their kid overnight explain how you pay for loads and how you wont be able to afford to continue unless she agrees to a better deal

    def get professional legal advice,hope it works out for you

    juicyx;6862115

    if your a single man you have to earn over £200 a week before they take … if your a single man you have to earn over £200 a week before they take money off you .



    Link?

    thesaint;6862070

    Are you sure your court order is a [SIZE="3"]shared residency … Are you sure your court order is a [SIZE="3"]shared residency order[/SIZE], and not a [SIZE="3"]contact order[/SIZE]?It is extremely unusual for a court to grant a shared residency order.



    ^^^This

    rockerfella20;6862129

    I told the person from the csa how long he spent with me and she said it … I told the person from the csa how long he spent with me and she said it didnt make a difference. going to ring my solicitor tomorow but thought someone might have some inside advice.:thumbsup:



    They are correct

    DragonChris;6862134

    I believe he still cares for his son, but the mother is taking the mick.



    I didn't say he doesn't!

    I said to tell her that, he doesn't have to actually do it. lol

    but to be fair, he shouldn't have to buy ALL his clothes anyway.

    I've not had any dealings with the csa, as I've tried to keep things amicable with my ex as far as the kids are concerned, but I did use their online calculator to work out what I would be due for them each month.

    It might be worth you having a look at that, as it does take into account how many nights you have your kids stay over, and if it's over a certain amount (can't remember the exact figure, sorry) they reduce the amount of money you have to pay her. If the courts did say that you have shared residency, then it's worth you discussing everything with them yourself, make sure you give them all the facts and figures, as if you tell them that you've been letting her have money that you have been entitled to, being as you have shared residency, they might also take these figures into account and reduce your payments even more (not taking into account the money she's already had I'd presume, they'd just start from now)

    Edit: link to the csa maintenence calculator secureonline.dwp.gov.uk/csa…asp

    Fair and CSA should never be uttered in the same sentence. I got stung by them for years. Claimed I was doing 2 full time job at the same time, I wish.

    juicyx;6862115

    if your a single man you have to earn over £200 a week before they take … if your a single man you have to earn over £200 a week before they take money off you .



    Not true. My ex has been unemployed for the past 6 months and I was entitled to £5 a week from his job seekers, and that was according to the csa guidelines. Didn't take it though, I'm not that harsh

    Original Poster

    thesaint;6862070

    Are you sure your court order is a shared residency order, and not a … Are you sure your court order is a shared residency order, and not a contact order?It is extremely unusual for a court to grant a shared residency order.



    yeh its a shared residency order, i have applied for custody as his step dad has been abusive towards him and bullying him (hence him living with me for 6 months but i never did that officially as his mam agreed to it) so i have an intern residency order as social services and cafcas are involved as she took him back and wouldnt return him.

    If she isnt working and claiming benefits - then if u do pay money to the CSA she doesnt get it - the state does.

    So it is very obvious that this is a case to pee u off

    The saint i have no link . The CSA told us this on the phone last week. As we having problems with the CSA .

    Original Poster

    bossyboots;6862197

    If she isnt working and claiming benefits - then if u do pay money to the … If she isnt working and claiming benefits - then if u do pay money to the CSA she doesnt get it - the state does.So it is very obvious that this is a case to pee u off



    correct.

    rockerfella20;6862220

    correct.



    but how crazy as this will totally backfire on her!! as she will lose out on any financial help u may have already given her.

    I hate stories like these - I hope it gets sorted out and u keep us updated

    rockerfella20;6862194

    yeh its a shared residency order, i have applied for custody as his step … yeh its a shared residency order, i have applied for custody as his step dad has been abusive towards him and bullying him (hence him living with me for 6 months but i never did that officially as his mam agreed to it) so i have an intern residency order as social services and cafcas are involved as she took him back and wouldnt return him.



    You've lost me.
    You went to court and obtained a shared residency order which is still in place. She has ignored the shared residency order, and the CSA require payment?

    btw, custody disappeared many years ago.

    It sounds like she has applied for some benefit or another, and has told a few porkie pies.

    juicyx;6862214

    The saint i have no link . The CSA told us this on the phone last week. … The saint i have no link . The CSA told us this on the phone last week. As we having problems with the CSA .



    Get everything in writing.

    What a bloomin idiot. Why would any mother prefer any amount of money be absorbed by the government rather than being directly spend on her own son??

    I genuinly feel sorry for guys in these situations my OHs best mate is going though something similar althougth he is going for full custdty as his ex is imo mistreating the children

    he used to give her £100 per week per child (2 boys)
    he had the boys every weekend then she tried to change it to 1 weekend a month but the courts said that it will be every other weekend she then tried to go csa and get more money (she is on benefits aswel) and it backfired as he was over paying by loads

    silly cow

    -he also buys all their clothes always takes them out and she does nothing with them and buys them nothing god knows what she was doing with the £200 pw he was giving her as it certainly wasnt spent on the boys makes me sooo mad

    They screwed us over a few years back for my step son and she getting more money then us . We could hardly live .

    Original Poster

    thesaint;6862247

    You've lost me.You went to court and obtained a shared residency order … You've lost me.You went to court and obtained a shared residency order which is still in place. She has ignored the shared residency order, and the CSA require payment?It sounds like she has applied for some benefit or another, and has told a few porkie pies.Get everything in writing.



    i have an interm order as we have to return to court in march once the cafcas people have done there assesment so the times i have him are the times set by the court. I dont know if it counts as a full order? my solicitor called it a 'shared care arrangement' in one of her letters.

    Original Poster

    sickly sweet;6862280

    What a bloomin idiot. Why would any mother prefer any amount of money be … What a bloomin idiot. Why would any mother prefer any amount of money be absorbed by the government rather than being directly spend on her own son??



    because she knows i would never stop buying for him even if i was on the breadline and she knows its taking money out of my pocket.

    rockerfella20;6862293

    i have an interm order as we have to return to court in march once the … i have an interm order as we have to return to court in march once the cafcas people have done there assesment so the times i have him are the times set by the court. I dont know if it counts as a full order? my solicitor called it a 'shared care arrangement' in one of her letters.



    If you have a shared residency order, you would have had to go to court and apply for it, be granted it, and have a load of documents saying so.

    Do you have parental responsibility?

    There is no such thing as a "Shared care arrangement" in the Children's Act.
    Your solicitor should be speaking in legal terms, not "popular" ones.

    Until you have a full hearing in court, you are liable to pay the mother, even if the child is with you full time.

    bossyboots;6862197

    If she isnt working and claiming benefits - then if u do pay money to the … If she isnt working and claiming benefits - then if u do pay money to the CSA she doesnt get it - the state does.So it is very obvious that this is a case to pee u off



    If the mum isnt working and claims income support she is now allowed to keep all her csa money, as they now take any money that goes over £80 amonth of your income support..

    I Thought if the child stays with the non resident parent they do take that into acount if more 3 nights or more..

    Try to explain to your ex she maybe worse of going through the csa, depending on what your private agreement was.. Most she will get if not working will be £80 a month, as whilst on icome support you are allowed to have a extra income of £20 aweek and no more, so even if csa take over £100 of you your ex will only get £80..

    rockerfella20;6862316

    because she knows i would never stop buying for him even if i was on the … because she knows i would never stop buying for him even if i was on the breadline and she knows its taking money out of my pocket.



    Seriously, if she's doing this just to be a cow, play her at her own game. Speak to your solicitor about the fact she's kept all the benefit money even though you've been entitled to it, and if your solicitor says she's been wrong doing that, then tell the benefits people what she's been up to and that you want what you're entitled to from now on please. That way, they'll pay you the proportion of the benefit money that you're entitled to, and she'll lose out there too.

    Original Poster

    thesaint;6862345

    If you have a shared residency order, you would have had to go to court … If you have a shared residency order, you would have had to go to court and apply for it, be granted it, and have a load of documents saying so.Do you have parental responsibility?There is no such thing as a "Shared care arrangement" in the Children's Act.Your solicitor should be speaking in legal terms, not "popular" ones.Until you have a full hearing in court, you are liable to pay the mother, even if the child is with you full time.



    champion.
    sorry it was her solicitor that said that,
    im sure i have an order but its in my filing cabnet in the outhouse and its too dark to find it.

    the law is rubbish. I have to pay my sons mother while her husband is abusive to him.

    Original Poster

    carryon30;6862379

    If the mum isnt working and claims income support she is now allowed to … If the mum isnt working and claims income support she is now allowed to keep all her csa money, as they now take any money that goes over £80 amonth of your income support..I Thought if the child stays with the non resident parent they do take that into acount if more 3 nights or more..Try to explain to your ex she maybe worse of going through the csa, depending on what your private agreement was.. Most she will get if not working will be £80 a month..



    great, i thought she wouldnt get any of it. yeh they said its £7 a nite off your total.

    All the info is on the ]CSA website but this could be the good bit :

    " What happens if the child stays
    overnight with both parents?
    If the child stays overnight with the non-resident parent on
    average at least one night a week (at least 52 nights a year), we
    call this ‘shared care’. In these cases, we can reduce the amount
    of child maintenance that the non-resident parent has to pay, as
    long as we are using the basic or reduced rate to work out the
    weekly amount due.
    If you share the care of your child with the other parent,
    please let us know as soon as possible so that we can take
    this into account when we work out the new amount of child
    maintenance. We need to know the average number of nights
    the child stays overnight with the non-resident parent each week.
    Where parents share the care of their children, we work out a
    daily amount of child maintenance (usually 1/7 of the weekly
    amount the non-resident parent must pay). For example, if the
    non-resident parent must pay child maintenance of £70 a week,
    this works out at £10 a day (£70 divided by 7).
    We then take this daily amount off the weekly total for each day
    the child stays overnight with the non-resident parent."

    Sounds like your ex is trying to cut of her nose to spite her face, sadly this is not uncommon. Have had similar probs too so now just communicate via e-mail to mine, easier that way and you can keep a record of what's been said.

    Good luck

    Original Poster

    Charlie&Lola;6862382

    Seriously, if she's doing this just to be a cow, play her at her own … Seriously, if she's doing this just to be a cow, play her at her own game. Speak to your solicitor about the fact she's kept all the benefit money even though you've been entitled to it, and if your solicitor says she's been wrong doing that, then tell the benefits people what she's been up to and that you want what you're entitled to from now on please. That way, they'll pay you the proportion of the benefit money that you're entitled to, and she'll lose out there too.



    benifits people (child tax ect) will only pay her as hes down as living there. we thought we were entitled to something but as luck would have it the law looks after the people who dont deserve it.

    Are you sure it was the CSA phoning you? Don't they send a letter first...or have they already?

    Original Poster

    thanks for the advice so far, off to bed now, I will be repping everyone who has been helpfull. cheers.

    tallpete33;6862441

    All the info is on the ]CSA website but this could be the good bit :" … All the info is on the ]CSA website but this could be the good bit :" What happens if the child staysovernight with both parents?If the child stays overnight with the non-resident parent onaverage at least one night a week (at least 52 nights a year), wecall this ‘shared care’. In these cases, we can reduce the amountof child maintenance that the non-resident parent has to pay, aslong as we are using the basic or reduced rate to work out theweekly amount due.If you share the care of your child with the other parent,please let us know as soon as possible so that we can takethis into account when we work out the new amount of childmaintenance. We need to know the average number of nightsthe child stays overnight with the non-resident parent each week.Where parents share the care of their children, we work out adaily amount of child maintenance (usually 1/7 of the weeklyamount the non-resident parent must pay). For example, if thenon-resident parent must pay child maintenance of £70 a week,this works out at £10 a day (£70 divided by 7).We then take this daily amount off the weekly total for each daythe child stays overnight with the non-resident parent."Sounds like your ex is trying to cut of her nose to spite her face, sadly this is not uncommon. Have had similar probs too so now just communicate via e-mail to mine, easier that way and you can keep a record of what's been said. Good luck




    That's all when and good, but there is not a "Non resident parent" if the OP is correct.

    Don't know anything about the csa, but I hope you get it sorted amicably, sounds pretty harsh what she's trying to do...

    My experience of the CSA is that they are a law unto themselves, they will do anything they feel like.

    My uncle, a good few years back was paying about £1000 a month to them, and the ex wife wasnt seeing half of it. And they kept putting the money up and up, the solicitor couldnt do anything and in the end he went to his local mp who also couldnt do anything. And they always ring at stupid times.

    My advice, if it is worth anything, is make sure everything is dealt with in WRITING! you have proof of everything then, and it adds some time to the whole situation, drag your heels !

    ChipSticks;6862158

    I didn't say he doesn't!I said to tell her that, he doesn't have to … I didn't say he doesn't!I said to tell her that, he doesn't have to actually do it. lolbut to be fair, he shouldn't have to buy ALL his clothes anyway.



    Agreed, sorry was just taking the literal I knew what you meant, I guess was being a bit of a ***** when I posted that :oops:
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