awwwwwwwwww love is blind ............

Found 6th Aug 2008
Love is blind !!!

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Love truely is Blind ...........................…649
Easily Done.

[CENTER][COLOR=#339933]Q. Where do you find a tortoise with no legs?[/COLOR][/CENTER]

[CENTER]A. Where you left it![/CENTER]


[CENTER]Three tortoises, Mick, Alan and Les, decide to go on a picnic. So Mick packs the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches. The trouble is the picnic site is ten miles away so it takes them ten days to get there. [/CENTER]

[CENTER]When they get there Mick unpacks the food and beer. "Ok Les Give me the bottle opener." [/CENTER]

[CENTER]"I didn't bring it," says Les. "I thought you packed it." [/CENTER]

[CENTER]Mick gets worried, He turns to Alan, "Did you bring the bottle opener??" [/CENTER]

[CENTER]Naturally Alan didn't bring it. So they're stuck ten miles from Home without a bottle opener. Mick and Alan beg Les to go back for It, but he refuses as he says they will eat all the sandwiches. [/CENTER]

[CENTER]After two hours, and after they have sworn on their tortoise Lives that they will not eat the sandwiches, he finally agrees. So Les sets off down the road at a steady pace. [/CENTER]

[CENTER]Twenty days pass and he still isn't back and Mick and Alan are starving, but a promise is a promise. [/CENTER]

[CENTER]Another five days and he still isn't back, but a promise is a promise. Finally they can't take it any longer so they take out a Sandwich each, and just as they are about to eat it, Les pops up from behind a rock and shouts........ [/CENTER]




An extremely upset tortoise crawls into a police station.

“I’ve been robbed by a marauding gang of snails,” he cries to the officers.

“Calm down,” says a cop. “Just tell us everything that happened, to the best of your memory.”

“That’s difficult,” says the tortoise. “It all happened so fast…”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ]

At a fancy dress ball one couple came with the woman on the man's back.

"What have you come as?" asked the hostess.

"I'm a tortoise," said the man.

"A tortoise?" she asked.

"Yes. My name is Tom, and this is [COLOR=#339933]Michelle[/COLOR]."

A baby tortoise was standing at the bottom of a large tree and with a deep sigh, started to climb. About an hour later, he reached a very high branch and walked along to the end.

He turned and spread all four flippers and launched himself off the branch.On landing at the bottom in a pile of soft, dead leaves, he shook himself off, walked back to the bottom of the tree and with a sigh started to climb.

About an hour later, he again reached the very high branch, walked along, turned, spread his flippers and flung himself off the branch. Again, he landed on the bottom, shook himself off, went to the bottom of the tree, sighed and started climbing.

Watching these proceedings from the end of the branch were two little birds.

Mummy bird turned to Daddy bird and said, "Don't you think it's time we told him he was adopted?"


There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant's tail, really hard.[/CENTER]

[CENTER]Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up to the river.[/CENTER]

[CENTER]The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can, sending him flying way off into the jungle. "Why did you do that?" the giraffe asks. "When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no reason," the elephant replied. [/CENTER]

[CENTER]"Wow! You must have a good memory!" exclaimed the giraffe.[/CENTER]

[CENTER]"Yep!" said the elephant. "I've got Turtle-Recall."[/CENTER]


The psychiatrist was surprised to see a tortoise come into his office.

"What can I do for you, Mr Tortoise?" asked the psychiatrist.

"I'm terribly shy, doctor," said the tortoise. "I want you to cure me of that."

"No problem. I'll soon have you out of your shell." said the psychiatrist.


Tortoise, turtle, or terrapin?
It's all geography

Look at any shelled reptile. Is it a tortoise, turtle, or terrapin?
What you call me or any of my relatives depends on
[*]what we look like,
[*]where we live, and
[*]where you live.[/LIST]Before we get on with this, let's be clear that scientists like veterinarians and such have their own words for us. They call us all chelonians.

But ordinary people use ordinary words. The trouble is that sometimes you don't all mean the same thing even when you use the same words.
What we look like

We all have shells. But some of our shells are covered with scutes while others are have a leathery covering. Some shells are domed, some are like saddles, and some are almost flat.

We all have four legs. But some of us have thick stumpy legs with stumpy feet. Some have webs between our toes. Some have flippers that are hardly legs at all.

Of course we have other differences, too, or else our friends wouldn't be able to tell us apart. But these two differences (shells and feet) help to tell if someone is a tortoise, turtle or terrapin because what we look like helps you to know what our natural habitat is.
Where we live

We have three main habitats. . .
[*]We can live on land.
[*]We can live in the sea.
[*]Or we can live sort of in between, spending time both on the land and in the water. Lots of us in this group live in brackish water. That's water that is sort of salty, the water you find at a river mouth where it joins the ocean.[/LIST]. . . . . ]
snowtiger what do you do for a living? How long did this take for you to find? Hilarious though...

]]]At a fancy dress ball one couple came with the woman on the man's … ]]]At a fancy dress ball one couple came with the woman on the man's back."What have you come as?" asked the hostess."I'm a tortoise," said the man."A tortoise?" she asked."Yes. My name is Tom, and this is [COLOR=#339933]Michelle[/COLOR]."



Dont you get it ?
Yep just did..LOL............Stupid me!
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