British Airways

    After a British Airways flight reached its cruising altitude, the
    captain announced:

    'Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain. Welcome to Flight
    293, non-stop from London Heathrow to Toronto . The weather ahead is good so
    we should have a smooth, uneventful flight. So sit back, relax and ... OH,
    MY GOD!'

    Silence followed!

    Some moments later the captain came back on the intercom.

    'Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry if I scared you. While I was
    talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee
    in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!'

    One Irish passenger yelled, 'by Jaysus you should see the back of mine!'

    Barack Obama was seated next to a little girl on an airplane he turned to her and said,

    'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.'

    The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to Obama, 'What would you like to talk about?'

    'Oh, I don't know,' said Obama. 'How about What Changes I Should Make To America ?'and he smiles.

    'OK, ' she said. 'That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first.

    A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass - yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?

    Obama, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea.'

    To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel qualified to change America when you don't know sh** ?


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