Budget 2009 - A MinstrelMan Interpritation *Live*

17 replies
Found 22nd Apr 2009
"CAR SCRAPPAGE SCHEME
From next month motorists to get £2,000 discount on new cars if they trade in cars older than 10 years - this will remain in place until March 2010 "

Great, get £2k off a brand spankin new one, which de-preciates upwards of 20% as soon as you drive it out of the showroom.

"JOBS AND TRAINING
All long-term unemployed under 25s to be offered job or training "

BG1, JFK, the remaining HUKD Creche and roughly 15% of the scouse population..... see you on the misc night shift.

more as it breaks.

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It will work though.... 2k car scheme

• £1.7bn additional resources for Job Centre network

Pretty pointless when there arent many jobs in the job centre

Original Poster

"HOUSING
• Scheme to guarantee mortgage backed securities to boost lending"

Here, have mine:
http://www.chocolatebuttons.co.uk/images/cbuttons/expanded_pics/chocolate_bars/cadbury_boost.jpg

Original Poster

" £250m funding to help people get work experience in growth industries"

REJOICE:

http://www.dymaxionweb.com/kulturedrome/%20Auschwitz%20dwarfs.jpg

Original Poster

CIGARETTES AND ALCOHOL
Alcohol and cigarettes taxes to go up 2% from midnight
Fuel duty to rise by 2p per litre from September

An excuse to stock up if ever I heard one!

Anythin bout car tax yet as mines due

MinstrelMan;4998061

" £250m funding to help people get work experience in growth … " £250m funding to help people get work experience in growth industries"REJOICE:



LOL

Anythin bout car tax yet as mines due

Sloth/Mod

UPDATE:

The MP who makes the most in Quidco on buying Porn, plugs and random expenses items will be entitled to a £100,000 bonus and a knighthood from the Queen for the rest of this tax year.

Failure by any MP not to rack up at least £100 in cashback will result in them having to sack one member of their family from their staff and will be relegated to making up smear e-mail's about MP's sexual activites.

Original Poster

Syzable;4998093

UPDATE:The MP who makes the most in Quidco on buying Porn, plugs and … UPDATE:The MP who makes the most in Quidco on buying Porn, plugs and random expenses items will be entitled to a £100,000 bonus and a knighthood from the Queen for the rest of this tax year.Failure by any MP not to rack up at least £100 in cashback will result in them having to sack one member of their family from their staff and will be relegated to making up smear e-mail's about MP's sexual activites.



I lolled!

nothin about car tax yet: news.bbc.co.uk/1/h…stm

£2K discount for a 10 year old car... 10 year old cars will be going up in price methinks. I think I'll invest in a 9 year old car and wait 'til it matures.

Original Poster

"SAVINGS

Annual limit for tax-free ISAs to rise to more than £10,000 for over-50s this year and for everyone else next year "

NOW THAT IS A BRUCEY!

I'll let my dad know, since he's been considering sending his car into scrap....he might be able to sell it for quite a bit now.....either that or he should expect his car to be stolen very soon. :giggle:

nice interpretation, you could work for the sun/daily mail . .

new terminology for the current crisis;

*credit squeeze*
. .

Might go out and buy myself a £50 banger then crush it in for the £2,000 discount on a new car. Wish I owned a scrap merchants - business will be booming I expect.

dinglebin;4999382

Might go out and buy myself a £50 banger then crush it in for the £2,000 d … Might go out and buy myself a £50 banger then crush it in for the £2,000 discount on a new car. Wish I owned a scrap merchants - business will be booming I expect.


could you go buy loads of old cars & trade them in and get a brand new car for free ;-)

Banned

cheerleader;5000432

could you go buy loads of old cars & trade them in and get a brand new … could you go buy loads of old cars & trade them in and get a brand new car for free ;-)



No.

FilthAndFurry;5000461

No.


:lol: would be good if you could ;-):whistling:
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