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    Bully or Bullied

    Banned
    I was bullied as a child, in the light of the 'happy slapping' events of x factor and various shootings and killings recently, I feel if other children can see that its more common than they think they might not feel so ashamed (as I did) and come forward to ask for help (which I wish I did)

    Now in my situation it went on for nearly 3 years. The help I needed wasn't for someone to tell the bully off and give him detention, it was to give me enough confidence to stand my ground and resolve the situation.

    It wasn't until I faced my bully that the bullying stopped


    Poll is anonymous, so you can post and no one will know what you voted

    Please be honest

    43 Comments

    i wasnt bullied but my friend was and it was tough for him

    i was bullied really bad in primary school it was impossible to enjoy my young childhood days

    it was the popular girl and her little posse that started it
    my parents didnthave much money so i didnt have the best trainers and they didnt have a decent car
    it all started from then

    the bullying just got worse and worse i did seek help but im talking 14 years ago or there about i was called fat which i wasnt and ugly (ihad braces and nhs glasses)

    it got so bad i develped bullimia which was bad for nearly a year till my mum caught me bingeing on pizza then throwing it up, which led to doctors having me put in hospital and being tube feed and some phsycologist 'talking to me' dont know why it was the bullys that did it to me, i wasn't mad
    then after that i became a stronger person

    when i went back to school the bullying continued till i couldn't take it no more one day the 'popular' gal started again with the name calling, till i punched her right up the jaw it felt so good to hit her and made me feel so much better.

    Since then i dont take carp from no one, boyfriends friends etc
    i have only a few select friends that i truley trust

    oh and by the way the 'popular' girl is no longer the prettiest girl in school she has put on a load of weight and has lost her looks i know this cause she is a friend of some one in my group of friends if she is out when i am she doesn't look at me i wouldn't tell anyone what she did to me because i have my revenge by just looking at her and looking at me knowing what goes around comes around....

    Original Poster Banned

    Great story Pink, and look at you now, a confident beautiful woman.

    It wasn't until I gained the confidence to stand up to my bully that it stopped. I think we will have a trend here

    yes a bully is someone who lacks confidene themselves and finds making others feel small makes them feel big and clever when in fact their just toss pots

    i would be so ashamed if when i have kids they would be a bully i would kick it out of them myself the school system is a lot of the blame giving someone detention for bullying is pathetic

    Admin

    I wasn't bullied, nor was I a bully- I used to get into arguements but that was about the extent of it- I was lucky :thumbsup:

    I dont see myself as a bully...


    However a lad in my college class has reported 3 of us for bullying.

    He is depressed and often feels suicidal, we dont bully him but he thinks we do because he doesntknow when we having a joke with him.


    But i dont see myself as a bully.

    Original Poster Banned

    ilovepink

    yes a bully is someone who lacks confidene themselves and finds making … yes a bully is someone who lacks confidene themselves and finds making others feel small makes them feel big and clever when in fact their just toss potsi would be so ashamed if when i have kids they would be a bully i would kick it out of them myself the school system is a lot of the blame giving someone detention for bullying is pathetic




    I have to admit, I am teaching my sons to hit back, the rule in our house is 'you don't hit first, but you hit back if someone hits you'.

    When they are out playing, if one of the other kids pushes them off a climbing frame or something and they come complaning to me, I send them back and tell them to push back.

    I know its socially irresponsible, but I think the parents of the bullies are being more socially irresponsible for not control their kids anger. It all comes back to the parents in my opinion, its shouldn't be to my kids detriment because they are poor parents.

    Original Poster Banned

    juliet_bravo

    I wasn't bullied, nor was I a bully- I used to get into arguements but … I wasn't bullied, nor was I a bully- I used to get into arguements but that was about the extent of it- I was lucky :thumbsup:




    How could someone bully someone as gorgeous as you? :oops: :giggle:

    it true. I was bullied in primary school also chased and beeten several times, my crime? I had red hair *shrug*. I came to hate my hair I even got it all cropped off shorter than your average boys cut in the 80's. it didn't work and the bullying continued
    Again it didn't stop till I stood up to my tormenter and yes I did thump him.

    Although Physical violance isn't something I advocate it does appear to be the only message that some bulies will understand. Speaking their own language as you will???

    As an aside there was a girl in secondry school who was in the 'popular' crowd. She was very strong willed,loud,push yes I would probably have said she was a bully. However when the guidance teachers pulled her up and had a heart to heart with her she became horrified with herself. She didn't see what her and her group were doing was bullying..In all honesty she just didn't get it. She came and apologised off her own back to everyone she had made fun of,goaded,slagged off ect.

    Original Poster Banned

    vengod

    I dont see myself as a bully...However a lad in my college class has … I dont see myself as a bully...However a lad in my college class has reported 3 of us for bullying. He is depressed and often feels suicidal, we dont bully him but he thinks we do because he doesntknow when we having a joke with him. But i dont see myself as a bully.




    Thats usually the problem, bullies do not realise when they are pushing the boundaries of the individual. Whilst you may see this as a joke the person you are doing it to may have a different outlook on what they see is a joke and may see your 'jokes' as offensive.

    Original Poster Banned

    Thank you Vengod

    UltimoScorpion

    Thats usually the problem, bullies do not realise when they are pushing … Thats usually the problem, bullies do not realise when they are pushing the boundaries of the individual. Whilst you may see this as a joke the person you are doing it to may have a different outlook on what they see is a joke and may see your 'jokes' as offensive.



    The joke we have with him though is his own fault...

    He told the class he bought his sister a pole dancing kit for xmas....so we said like Private dancers and that etc.

    But he thinks that because he is depressed and hating life that we should too.

    Admin

    UltimoScorpion

    How could someone bully someone as gorgeous as you? :oops: :giggle:




    That's sweet :oops:
    Don't think it matters what you look like though, once a bully picks a target, that's it :thumbsup:

    Original Poster Banned

    I was bullied mainly in school, but have been bullied in a previous employment as well, in my adult life.

    When I joined the firm I joined as an office junior, however I was quickly promoted to Sales Executive. Its here where all the trouble started, my ambition took me to be the most sucessful salesman in the office, and when they introduced a bonus scheme I 'won' the first months bonus. This caused one long timer salesman to start a campaign against me. This started with taken orders from me and customers I solely dealt with (especially the high margin ones, as the bonus structure was all about who made the most money).

    It finally ended with me reporting him to our manager and we had a cnsultive meeting. After, I again stood up to him face to face, he didn't realise what a wan**r he had been and apologised.

    It didn't end their though however, I got another promotion to the head office (way above him). He started bullying other salesman in the office and eventually got 'let go'. :giggle:

    Original Poster Banned

    vengod

    The joke we have with him though is his own fault...He told the class he … The joke we have with him though is his own fault...He told the class he bought his sister a pole dancing kit for xmas....so we said like Private dancers and that etc. But he thinks that because he is depressed and hating life that we should too.



    Fair enough, but doesn't it just make sense that if he has issues of 'hating life' to just leave him to it, rather than adding to them by taking the pee out of his rather strange insestuous presents.

    Original Poster Banned

    juliet_bravo

    That's sweet :oops:Don't think it matters what you look like though, once … That's sweet :oops:Don't think it matters what you look like though, once a bully picks a target, that's it :thumbsup:




    Well loupomm and pink may disagree.

    My bullying as a child started because the bullies parents said that I was a bad influence on them and cannot play with me anymore. When the truth was that he was the 'bad influence' in the group of 'friends'.

    His father blindness in not seeing what a dispicable child he has raised caused the negative attitude towards me

    UltimoScorpion

    Fair enough, but doesn't it just make sense that if he has issues of … Fair enough, but doesn't it just make sense that if he has issues of 'hating life' to just leave him to it, rather than adding to them by taking the pee out of his rather strange insestuous presents.



    we try to leave him alone, but the teacher says should stay with us and not be a loner....

    but ive tried avoiding him by listening to music but he will ask who im listenin to and then say that they are ***** - so in a way he can dish it out buty cant take it.

    Original Poster Banned

    vengod

    we try to leave him alone, but the teacher says should stay with us and … we try to leave him alone, but the teacher says should stay with us and not be a loner....but ive tried avoiding him by listening to music but he will ask who im listenin to and then say that they are ***** - so in a way he can dish it out buty cant take it.




    Have him up about it....say that if you don't like my music fair enough, but dont put 'said group' down. If he wants you to respect the boundaries of his gifts then you should have the same about your music.

    However, it sounds like you are just two people that should not be 'friends' and the teacher is being a little niave to push you together. He will find his own friends

    i was constantly bullied at pprimary school. some kid just wouldnt leave me alone and always provoking me to fight him. so i did, a few times, each time i sent him off crying. even when he brought 2 friends along and it was 3 on 1. it never got me down as i handled myself. i just wish he would of learned after his first beating. that was 20 years ago, and i still remember his name. Fool.

    Original Poster Banned

    shanecr

    i was constantly bullied at pprimary school. some kid just wouldnt leave … i was constantly bullied at pprimary school. some kid just wouldnt leave me alone and always provoking me to fight him. so i did, a few times, each time i sent him off crying. even when he brought 2 friends along and it was 3 on 1. it never got me down as i handled myself. i just wish he would of learned after his first beating. that was 20 years ago, and i still remember his name. Fool.



    His name was fool? needed a good kicking with a name like that :w00t:

    No seriously, can I ask what made you stand up for yourself against such competition

    Banned

    depends what you class as bullying, i have called people names.

    Original Poster Banned

    hothothot

    depends what you class as bullying, i have called people names.



    would you class that as bullying?

    I just hope the victim in the X Factor case, earned a mint sending that to the Sun / Youtube.....revenge can be profitable!!

    Original Poster Banned

    I have to say that initially, that it seems the bullied are far more stronger than the bullies. As the bullies dont seem to be owning up even though this is a private vote!

    Its a shame as I actually think they may have something to offer. The point of view of the bully is important in counteracting the bullying.

    UltimoScorpion

    I have to say that initially, that it seems the bullied are far more … I have to say that initially, that it seems the bullied are far more stronger than the bullies. As the bullies dont seem to be owning up even though this is a private vote!Its a shame as I actually think they may have something to offer. The point of view of the bully is important in counteracting the bullying.



    if their ashamed of it they should be bullying ruins lives i hope the bullys and retired bullys see this and maybe think about the next time they choose a victim and wonder what damage they do to a person, and the pish posh that teachers say 'sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me'
    what a load of old bull:x

    didnt really get bullied but i put that down to my height and general way i was friends with everyone.

    Banned

    Bit of both, i'm fat and always have been, people bullied me... once. I always felt sorry for the 'little guy', I got into a lot of fights, but only with the bullies. Why is someone's laughter worth more than another's?

    Original Poster Banned

    Mclovin

    didnt really get bullied but i put that down to my height and general way … didnt really get bullied but i put that down to my height and general way i was friends with everyone.




    I was friends with everyone too, but no matter how hard you try sometimes it just doesn't suit someone.

    I even tried being friends with both my bullies

    Original Poster Banned

    JDeal

    Bit of both, i'm fat and always have been, people bullied me... once. I … Bit of both, i'm fat and always have been, people bullied me... once. I always felt sorry for the 'little guy', I got into a lot of fights, but only with the bullies. Why is someone's laughter worth more than another's?



    You say a bit of both, so who and why did you feel compelled to bully someone?

    Banned

    Depends how you define a bully, someone that repeatedly hurts someone mentally or physically? If so, I didn't. Me and the regular bullies had our clashes, that's all.

    I had loads of friends at Primary School, then the first day of secondary school people wouldnt go near me, people who I was friends with for 7 years! Mainly due to the fact my dad had an accident at work and was on benefits, and the school wasnt much better, putting me in the bottom classes as I came from bad estate in town.

    I was really confident at first and fought back even over small things, but as I was from the council estate and these kids from better off familys like doctors I was always the one in the wrong according to the school, even when I had my shoulder broken on the school campus by bullies, and get pain even now over 13 years later.

    So mine was in reverse, I went from fighting back with fists to just letting people harass me and bully me, as if I fought back using fists or even words it got worse.

    Original Poster Banned

    JDeal

    Depends how you define a bully, someone that repeatedly hurts someone … Depends how you define a bully, someone that repeatedly hurts someone mentally or physically? If so, I didn't. Me and the regular bullies had our clashes, that's all.



    did you go out of your way to purposely have a fight, or did you when you got into a fight defend yourself, and the other person got hurt in the process. If the former, you are a bully, if the later you are the bullied

    what if someone was both bullied and a bully?

    UltimoScorpion

    It all comes back to the parents in my opinion, its shouldn't be to my … It all comes back to the parents in my opinion, its shouldn't be to my kids detriment because they are poor parents.



    This comment goes way beyond the scope of this particular discussion but is valid nonetheless (and don't let ANYONE tell you otherwise):

    Bad parenting is the root cause of the cancer that is destroying society in Britain today.

    EVERYONE, from the man who cleans the public toilets to the MD of a successful business, should be attacking this scourge...........it's only when these chavs learn to accept responsibility for their offspring that society will stop disappearing down the plughole.

    Banned

    I had loads of fights with an idiot who came to our primary school in the final year, I always scored against him in football so he thought he would start these dumb fights with me. It carried on into Secondary school, where he started wearing rings on his fingers getting massive gangs 20+ kids to see us fight (they never joined in). I always sent him packing except once when he got a day off school and jumped me on the way home from school. His parents couldn't give the head teacher a reason for his day off school, no punishment was given to him for this. I had plenty of other fights with kids who would come to our park and just start fights with boys in the park for no reason, big gangs of them (only one fighting). After a while I just stopped going out, we then moved to a new town because of it and I was then bullied verbally never physically I was much stronger than the other kids (15 yrs old). Then in the final year I snapped a smacked this boy round the head this huge tennis ball appeared on his head (a lump not an actual tennis ball), everyone was shocked and never said a thing to me again. We were called in front of the deputy head and he admitted it was his fault. Thinking back I much preferred the physical bullying/fighting than the verbal jibes.

    UltimoScorpion

    His name was fool? needed a good kicking with a name like that :w00t: No … His name was fool? needed a good kicking with a name like that :w00t: No seriously, can I ask what made you stand up for yourself against such competition



    he just didnt intimidate me. and yet he would spread stories about how he could 'batter me' and he just pushed me too many times. But unfortunately he never learned. Though i very quickly realised he was all mouth. His name was Sandy.

    shanecr

    His name was Sandy.



    :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t:

    Yes, I suspect you've just revealed why he was a bully...........

    Chuckles1066

    :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: Yes, I suspect you've just revealed … :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: Yes, I suspect you've just revealed why he was a bully...........



    His last name didnt make it much better either, but i wont say it.

    I guess like a few of the stories the lines get blurry when revenge kicks in. I was bullied by a guy in my school cos i was overweight, mostly verbal but shoving pushing over etc and he thought it was great fun to constantly make me aware of this. I let it continue unnoticed until i was in second year in high school when i really had enough. I realised i was much bigger than him and i shouldn't be taking his ****. So after psyching myself up over the weekend i went in on Monday to his usual abuse and just snapped and swung for him... He was knocked out and lost one of his front teeth. Of course i was suspended for fighting and ironically for bullying.

    From then on i had no more hassle through school but he continued to try and do it to other people including my some of my friends which led to a few more reminders of why he shouldn't be such a a*se.

    im not sure how i would handle my kids being bullied in todays world tho. Things were quite simple before but now everyone is looking to blame and claim etc and the schools seem to have a lot less control.

    naw never affected me but i noticed how others where bullied i guess i was though in my last week but after my first few fights everyone was friendly
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