Chat up lines - give us your best shot

48
Found 17th Dec 2009
Go on then - show us your moves.

Something better than 'get your coat love, you've pulled' if it can be helped

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48 Comments

Jimmy Carr classic.......

Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

How would you like a little willy in some longjohns brah ?

Someone call 999 because you are on fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrreeeee!

Put your crash helmet on, you're going through the head board.
Do you believe in love at first sight...or do I have to walk by again?
There's a gap in your life! Mind if I fill it!
I'm not Fred Flintstone but i can make your bedrock!
Wanna play Pearl Harbor? That's where I lay down and you blow the hell out of me.

excuse me,Im a stranger in town,can you direct me to your flat?

Go up to a girl, ask her: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" She says no. Then wink.

Hi, I've been undressing you with my eyes all night long, and think it's time to see if I'm right.

Grab your goat, you've pulled

Polarbear!!!!!!! - Broke The Ice....


Worth Mentioning This One Has Never Worked!

If a women asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You should answer: "Yeah! Do you have the energy?"

Do you listen to the charts?

Suck my (male chicken) its number 1!

Banned

this face is leaving in ten mins best you on it:santa:

what do you like for your breakfast in the morning!

Original Poster

DJNG22;7256428
Do you listen to the charts?

Suck my (male chicken) its number 1!


is that the one that goes suck my suck my mother . I heard that on Howard Stern a while back, quite funny.

Original Poster

laldude;7256417

If a women asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You should answer: … If a women asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You should answer: "Yeah! Do you have the energy?"



hehe, :thumbsup:


keep em coming, repping as I go.

your eyes remind me of spanners, everytime I look into them my nuts tighten

iNSOMANiAC;7256361

How would you like a little willy in some longjohns brah ?



superb, no h8te lol. forgot to mention the man satchel

do you have mirrors in your knickers?! because i can see myself in them tonight

Babbabooey;7256451
is that the one that goes suck my suck my mother . I heard that on Howard Stern a while back, quite funny.


not sure where it is from, I remember a mate saying it to me when i worked in a hotel years ago, I thought he was asking me a serious question about the charts!!

my fave:

the word of the day is Legs.....lets go spread the word.

Original Poster

DJNG22;7256564

not sure where it is from, I remember a mate saying it to me when i … not sure where it is from, I remember a mate saying it to me when i worked in a hotel years ago, I thought he was asking me a serious question about the charts!!



youtube.com/wat…QMk
Not safe for work obviously

You go up to a girl with an ice cube in your mouth, bite into it and say "now i've broken the ice how bout a drink?"

If you were a burger, youd be a McGorgeous

Do you charge for a good time?
No
Lets go then!!!

DJNG22;7256350

Jimmy Carr classic.......Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?



Lol, I heard him tell that joke before and it always makes me laugh lol

I don't need chat up lines....that always works best.

realfriendlyman;7256860

Lol, I heard him tell that joke before and it always makes me laugh lolI … Lol, I heard him tell that joke before and it always makes me laugh lolI don't need chat up lines....that always works best.



ooooooo get you, biggin yourself up

bitseylango;7256869

ooooooo get you, biggin yourself up



lol, I don't have to big myself up.....everyone else does that for me.....plus other things big itself up too. :oops:

you dont sweat much for a fat chick

wallzer;7256917

you dont sweat much for a fat chick



I think you killed the thread when you upset half the forum.

Still quite funny though. lol

I've just moved you to the top of my "to do" list :whistling:

no seat love? As long as i've got a face, you've got a seat.

Did you fart? Cuase you blew me away

Do you like chicken?


well suck this its foul (fowl).



(the worst is I tried this when drunk and it worked! - mind you she was drunker than me I guess)


Chat up lines generally are a waste of time, the best way into a girls bed is the ability to make her laugh.

you say think of a number 1-4
shes says 2
u say wrong
take your top off love

If i had the choice of Breathing or Loving You i'd use my last breath to say i love you

junkenstein73;7257612

If i had the choice of Breathing or Loving You i'd use my last breath to … If i had the choice of Breathing or Loving You i'd use my last breath to say i love you



Awwww, I think I love you after that......oh wait.....that's not gonna happen, I think I'm gonna kick you in the balls anyway.

realfriendlyman;7257631

Awwww, I think I love you after that......oh wait.....that's not gonna … Awwww, I think I love you after that......oh wait.....that's not gonna happen, I think I'm gonna kick you in the balls anyway.




junkenstein73;7257612

If i had the choice of Breathing or Loving You i'd use my last breath to … If i had the choice of Breathing or Loving You i'd use my last breath to say i love you



junkenstein73;7257639



Has your line ever worked? lol

Hi there I tried to think of a chat up line to show you how witty I was, however all I could think of was how beautiful you look.

realfriendlyman;7257751

Has your line ever worked? lol



Suprisingly YES:-D

hi, im tiger woods =)
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