Groups

    Chat up lines. HUKD schmooooze thread :)

    What are the best and (more importantly) worst you've used.

    Tales of success and epic fails welcome!!!

    Also, funny chat up lines and put downs!

    73 Comments

    Original Poster

    Funny to start with - NO I'VE NEVER ROLLED THIS OUT!!

    "Does this rag small of chloroform to you?"

    Your teeth are like the stars - they only come out at night............!

    Tip for you guys - chat up lines never work

    Original Poster

    Woah, you look like a parking ticket!!! Cos you got fiiiiine written all over you!

    Original Poster

    fireheaven;4095402

    Tip for you guys - chat up lines never work



    I know, this i worked out in my younger days!!!

    Love to hear the stories of the fails though!

    How'd you like your eggs in the morning?!

    someone asked me: how much for ur number?
    i answer: priceless

    Banned

    bentleys in for a MOT so had to bring the merc today! damn

    Original Poster

    I want you to have my children... they're in the car outside

    mbgringo;4095421

    I know, this i worked out in my younger days!!!Love to hear the stories … I know, this i worked out in my younger days!!!Love to hear the stories of the fails though!




    As a former barmaid I have heard some bad ones.

    The worst were " fancy coming back to mine for a pizza and a ****" :w00t: and "I am scouting contestants for rear of the year, can I take a pic of yours"

    Original Poster

    fireheaven;4095462

    As a former barmaid I have heard some bad ones.The worst were " fancy … As a former barmaid I have heard some bad ones.The worst were " fancy coming back to mine for a pizza and a ****" :w00t: and "I am scouting contestants for rear of the year, can I take a pic of yours"



    Love the fact he was hungry and on the pull, and combined the two! Thats multi tasking!!

    you wanna go for a f**k and a pizza???












    NO! GET AWAY!

    wtf u no like pizza?

    is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven....

    phatboy123;4095476

    you wanna go for a f**k and a pizza???NO! GET AWAY!wtf u no like pizza?



    I was hungry - I took the pizza and ran

    are your legs tired?? coz you've been running thru my mind all night :-D

    Original Poster

    Do you go for casual sex or would you prefer me to dress up?

    "You have received an infraction at HotUKDeals Forum."

    That's probably the worst one:roll:

    This thread is nothing without ODB.

    fireheaven;4095484

    I was hungry - I took the pizza and ran



    ahh, so it was YOU

    thesaint;4095522

    This thread is nothing without ODB.



    :lol:

    i'm no Fred Flintstone but ill make your bedrock

    Original Poster

    thesaint;4095522

    This thread is nothing without ODB.



    Now, did that work when you chatted up ODB?


    *Chris, where are youuuuuu*

    mbgringo;4095367

    "Does this rag small of chloroform to you?"



    That is fantastic! :-D

    :lazy:

    Original Poster

    Ive got the body of a Chippendale,.... he's buried under the patio at home.

    phatboy123;4095531

    ahh, so it was YOU



    :oops: soorry

    put your crash helmet on youre going through the headboard :w00t:

    "I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good."

    Original Poster

    You are just truly absolutely beautiful! Can you cook and clean also?

    Original Poster

    starsparkle2311;4095616

    Thank goodness I didn't comment in this thread:oops:



    Awwww, pleaseeee :thumbsup:

    ChipSticks;4095593

    "I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good."



    :-D

    i lost my number, can i have yours!

    acecatcher3;4095658

    do u like chocolate??(yeah)then pull down ur snickers and ill give u a … do u like chocolate??(yeah)then pull down ur snickers and ill give u a boost.(ill remove this if it offends anyone, isnt my intention to offend)



    LOL

    No lines,but isnt it annoying when you don't have someones attention when you are talking to them grrrrr

    deb8z;4095682

    No lines,but isnt it annoying when you don't have someones attention when … No lines,but isnt it annoying when you don't have someones attention when you are talking to them grrrrr



    Sorry! Were you speaking to me?

    rockyfella;4095709

    Sorry! Were you speaking to me?



    Thats just plain mean..lol:w00t:

    fat penguins.....








    something to break the ice

    acecatcher3;4095658

    do u like chocolate??(yeah)then pull down ur snickers and ill give u a … do u like chocolate??(yeah)then pull down ur snickers and ill give u a boost.(ill remove this if it offends anyone, isnt my intention to offend)



    PMSL

    here's 50p..... go and phone your mum and tell her you're not coming home tonight

    who stole the stars from the skys and put the in your eyes :roll:

    "Your ears remind me of an Orc's(ears) from the Lord of the Rings films"

    And I reckon that's one of my better ones:lol:

    1. As you walk by, turn around and say: Excuse me, did you just touch my ass? No. Damn!
    2. I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
    3. Do you believe in helping the homeless? [If yes"> Take me home with you.
    4. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
    5. Do you have any Irish in you? (if no…) Would you like some? (if yes…) Want some more?
    6. Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?
    7. Do you have the time? [Gives the time"> No, the time to write down my number?
    8. Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow-job? [No!"> Do you want to do lunch?
    9. Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.
    10. Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?
    11. I'm a frog but if u kiss me I'll turn into a prince
    12. Excuse me, I am about to go home to masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.
    13. Excuse me, I'm looking for a friend...do you want to be my friend?
    14. For a fat chick, you sure have small tits.
    15. Gee, for a fat girl you sure don't sweat much.
    16. Go up to a girl, ask her: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" She says no. Then wink.
    17. Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no.
    18. Hi, I've been undressing you with my eyes all night long, and think it's time to see if I'm right.
    19. Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice, lets talk"
    20. Nice dress, it'd look good on my bedroom floor
    21. Hold out two fingers and say: "Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "Cause they're mine sweetheart."
    22. I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.
    23. I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
    24. I just wanted to show this rose how incredibly beautiful you are!
    25. If a women asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You should answer: "Yeah! Do you have the energy?"
    26. The only thing that matters is that we're together.
    27. I'm sorry, were you talking to me? Her: No. Well then, please start.
    28. Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
    29. Is you father a lumberjack [No, why?"> Because when ever I look at you, I get wood in my pants.
    30. I've just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot.
    31. Hey...somebody farted. Let's get out of here.
    32. Say, did we go to different schools together?
    33. The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
    34. There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
    35. Wait until the end of the evening when everything is real hazy and alcohol soaked, walk up to someone you've never met and say, "Come on, we're leaving." (The key is to act like you know them.)
    36. You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar"> He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
    37. You know, you're very easy on the eyes...and very hard on my erection.
    38. Want to come into the garden see my big juicy tomatoes? (female version)
    or
    Want to come into the garden see my big hard cucumbers? (male version)
    39. You are so beautiful that I would crawl ten miles on my hands and knees through broken glass just to jerk off in your shadow.
    40. Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?
    41. I'm an organ donor, and I have an organ you might need
    42. Motion with your finger for a girl to come over. When she gets there say, "I knew if I fingered you long enough you would cum."
    43. I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
    44. **** me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Gretchen?
    45. Say, did we go to different schools together?
    46. Do I know you from somewhere, because I don't recognize you with your clothes on?
    47. Wow! Are those real?
    48. Hey babe, wanna make an easy fifty bucks?
    49. You've got to refer me to your plastic surgeon
    50. I'll bet you £50 I could get all your clothes off in 30 seconds.
    51. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
    52. "I'm on fire, can I run through your sprinkler?"
    53. Your Daddy must be a farmer because you grew some nice melons?
    54. That dress looks real becoming on you. Of course if I was that dress I'd be coming too.
    55. Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!!
    56. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?
    57. There are 206 bones in the human body, want one more?
    58. How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?
    59. (Lick finger than touch girl's clothing) Let's get you out of those wet clothes.
    60. Baby I'm like milk, I'll do your body good.
    61. Is that a mirror in your pants because I can see myself in them.
    62. Hey baby lets play army I'll lay down you can blow me up.
    63. If your left is thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas can I visit you in-between the holidays
    64. (With hands on shoulders) Oh, those are shoulder blades, I thought they were wings.
    65. If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
    66. I want to kiss you passionately on the lips, and then move up to your belly-button.
    67. Is it hot in here or is it just you?
    68. Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
    69. Hey baby, can I tickle your belly button from the inside?
    70. You know what would look good on you? Me
    71. So do ya wanna see something really swell?
    72. I've seem to have lost my number, can I have yours?
    73. I've got the hot dog and you got the buns.
    74. Is your name Gillette? ...because you're the best a man can get.
    75. I may not be Fred Flinstone, but I sure can make your bed rock.
    76. Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist
    77. Hey that dress looks nice. Can I talk you out of it.
    78. **** me if I'm wrong, but haven't we met before?
    79. Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears?(Pull your pockets inside out....) Would u like to?
    80. Hey babe, how about a pizza and a ****? [Slap"> HEY! What's wrong, don't you like pizza?
    81. Are you as good as your mother?
    82. Would you like to see my circumcision scar?
    83. I have a two minute recovery time.
    84. Didn't I do your sister?
    85. Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see my-self in your pants.
    86. F**k me if I am wrong, but isn't your name Gretchen?
    87. Yo. You'll do.
    88. Do you have a boyfriend? Well when you want a MAN-friend, come and talk to me!
    89. Is there a Rainbow, because you're the treasure I've been searching for.
    90. What is a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
    91. I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand
    92. Why don't we go back to my place and do the things I'm going to tell people we did anyway?
    93. [Look at her shirt label. When they say, "What are you doing?":"> Checking to see if you were made in heaven.
    94. I love every bone in your body - especially mine.
    95. Do you want to see something swell?
    96. If I followed you home, would you keep me?
    97. Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!?
    98. Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.
    99. If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together
    100. What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
    Post a comment
    Avatar
    @
      Text
      Top Discussions
      1. Surprise! The HUKD Summer Flamedeer Hunt 2017 **OFFICIAL THREAD** (trading …252841
      2. miikeyblue and shabbird's (but mostly shabbird's) Tuesday night pub quiz!523458
      3. Labour MP Naz Shah retweeted calling for abused white girls to shut their m…1023
      4. ❅☁☁❅ I want☼to talk☼about the☔WEATHER☔no politics☃no religion❅☁☁❅18846316

      See more discussions