Groups

    Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.

    Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.


    Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting as it implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.


    Chuck Norris can burn a DVD by just staring at the underside for 7 seconds.


    Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.


    Chuck Norris survived abortion.


    Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die...


    Chuck Norris doesnt have any pubic hair. Pubes dont grow on steel.


    Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.


    The Black Eyed Peas were just The Peas until Chuck Norris heard their music.


    Chuck Norris does not wear a condom because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.

    57 Comments

    starsparkle2311;6316722

    Who the heck is Chuck Norris?



    http://crossfitasia.com/ChuckNorris.jpg

    He was the subject of some funny statements/jokes (like those in the OP) about 5 years ago :whistling:

    unlike skuseys copy and paste jobs from 5 years ago(although every now and again chuck does appear as a twitter trending topic) I can't get tired of hearing these. HIGHlarious.

    starsparkle2311;6316722

    Who the heck is Chuck Norris?



    how old are you?

    Banned

    chuck norris is a god!!!

    yvonne1174;6316801

    chuck norris is a god!!!



    +1 but the cult chuck norris facts are 5 years old..... even older than the hoff ones.

    Banned

    hoff another god

    chuck norris was in the Way of the Dragon with Bruce Lee

    if chuck norris has £5 and you have £5, chuck norris has more money than you

    Original Poster

    MinstrelMan;6316873

    +1 but the cult chuck norris facts are 5 years old..... even older than … +1 but the cult chuck norris facts are 5 years old..... even older than the hoff ones.



    Chuck Norris does not get old, old gets Chuck Norris

    Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice

    Chuck Norris...








    ... the only man to slam a revolving door!

    Chuck Norris one ate a whole lion

    for dessert

    Chuck Norris' keyboard has no control key, Chuck Norris is always in control

    i so lol'd at the chuck norris survived abortion!

    Wally (from "Where's Wally?") is hiding from Chuck Norris.

    When Chick Norris plays Hungry Hippos he plays with real hippos.

    if it looks like chicken, smells like chicken and tastes like chicken, but chuck norris says its pork


    its pork

    Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands.

    They are now just 'The Islands'

    Chuck Norris jokes are the only GUARANTEED way to make me laugh. love em.

    I especially like..

    Before the bogeyman goes to sleep, he checks under his bed for chuck norris.

    Original Poster

    If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

    Original Poster

    Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

    Banned

    http://api.ning.com/files/wZSd37qtFSsfWi6jzwLTuV*YI5YorkSF2uF6E23qMiw_/chuck_norris.jpg
    http://img526.imageshack.us/img526/7641/chucknorrisparkss3.jpg

    the awesomeness in this thread is very high

    Original Poster

    casparwhite;6318971



    this is legendary material

    Banned

    chuck eats these and these only
    http://www.b3ta.com/images/challenge/toblerone_large.jpg

    Banned

    dont forget that sitcom he was in
    http://oblivion-graphics.com/fark2/norris.jpg

    Original Poster

    Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

    Banned

    http://img92.imageshack.us/img92/8864/comdomnorrissv2.jpg

    Banned

    http://www.b3tards.com/u/1c81df7ffeb283c72c53/fgnorris.gif

    Original Poster

    Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

    # There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

    When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

    You loon!!

    Banned

    nikkib123;6320183

    I have never heard of him!!!!



    he's sexy:-D
    http://www2.b3ta.com/host/creative/18809/1174568358.gif

    genius!!!

    Yea, Walker, Texas Ranger

    Kind of like Bruce Lee from southern America. But double hard

    If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the hell down

    Banned

    nikkib123;6320214

    Hmmmmm..........................Is he offa telly programme?



    As a teen, Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany.
    Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

    he is a true legend

    Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognises the element of surprise

    Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird

    Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and hit himself in the back of the head

    There is no chin under Chuck Norris' beard. Only another fist

    sancho1983;6320278

    Yea, Walker, Texas RangerKind of like Bruce Lee from southern America. … Yea, Walker, Texas RangerKind of like Bruce Lee from southern America. But double hard



    Bruce kicked his ass good and proper :thumbsup:

    Original Poster

    At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris.

    nikkib123;6320401

    So I was right it is a "man" thing!



    Chuck Norris is no man, Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris

    Chirstopher Walken > chuck norris
    Post a comment
    Avatar
    @
      Text
      Top Discussions
      1. Sad news about Barcelona2395
      2. Any Xbox One news today?2356125
      3. How dangerous is Donald trump?2289
      4. Just heard this...2 ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★ congrats to all on 392k ★★★★★★★★★★★★★★7764158

      See more discussions