CSA Claims Forms

    The following are all replies that British women have put on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing father's details.
    These are genuine excerpts from the forms. Be sure to check number 11, it takes the prize...

    1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A, was
    fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the
    father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

    2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I
    was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I
    can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the
    party if this helps.

    3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was
    conceived at a party at 112 Grand Avenue Headsborough, York
    where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do
    remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do
    manage to track down the father, can you send me
    his phone number? Thanks.

    4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He
    drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door
    panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see
    if he's had it replaced.

    5. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the
    Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he
    is Christ risen again.

    6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me
    that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic
    implications for the British economy. I am torn between doing right
    by you and right by the country. Please advise.

    7. I do not know who the father of my child was as all squaddies
    look the same to me. I can confirm however that he was a Royal Green

    8. Peter Williamson is the father of child A. If you do catch up with
    him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?

    9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Euro
    Disney; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom .

    10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I
    remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier
    in the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the
    party at Miller Drive , mine might have remained unfertilised.

    11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby. After
    all, when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one it was that
    made you fart.


    brilliant lol

    oh dear lol
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