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    Depressed

    Been married 30 years,50 years old today(happy birthday to me)3 little kids at home 11,9,6 all three are autistic.my wife wants me out,the pressure has got to her,i`ve got no choice but to leave,it`s me or her and the kids,my 26 year old daughters marriage has just ended,leaving us thousands out of pocket,is`nt life sweet

    17 Comments

    I feel for you, my youngest has been diagnosed autistic this year so I know what a strain it can be on a relationship.

    Look at it this way, at least it can't get any worse!
    Anyway i hope it gets better for you hang in there

    Happy Birthday mate! Everything is sent to test us,and what doesn't kill you will make you stronger and teach you lessons about life and yourself...Know that there is a higher power that has a plan for your life. Trust in it,have faith,and keep on keeping on :thumbsup:

    Look at it as a second chance in life to do whatever you want. Dont waste precious time that you have. Enjoy it and make it count, do what it takes to make you happy and feel good, even if the environment surrounding you is falling apart, let it..just dont crumble along with it...

    You've got to get some help. Speak to your GP or Health visitor or someone that know you and your family. You need to get help for yourself, your wife and especially the kids. It has to be step-by-step...things don't improve overnight, but you have to begin by asking for help. You've made a big step by talking about it here, so go one step more and phone your GP and tell him/her what you've told us. Then the next phase can begin... starting to get help and sort out the various problems you are facing.
    You can do it, and we all want to know that you can take that next step. We want to help, and if talking to any of us helps in the slightest, then go ahead...!
    You will come out of this tunnel, and you will be stronger and better for it. I am sure.

    Happy birthday! and what rehydrated said-keep going it will all come out good!

    Seek Help, Don't wait until the world is on your Shoulders

    I always remember listening to a Guy from the Samaritans who was talking to the Talk show DJ, Well half way through the talk, the DJ say's to him something along the lines of

    DJ - As for people Ringing you when the they have had a bad week and things are getting them down, then thats NOT the time when they should call ??, Better to call when you feel like ending their life ??( Again this is NOT word for word what was Spoken ?! )

    SM - No thats Actually not true, we would rather hear from them when they feel let down / Depressed come in for a coffee and have a talk with us, some times we get the call when the person is already on the bridge !? and it's a lot harder to bring them back down from the brink ?

    So treat us as friends here ?, talk talk talk maybe we can help ??

    K ;-)

    PS ;

    Q - How does a drowning man drown ?

    Because he gave up ?, Or stayed in the water ???????????????

    Happy Birthday. My nephew is autistic, I know what its like, so much pressure, I am a part time carer for him, and I see how much my sister and her husband gets stressed, he is a handful, cant speak and has very bad behaviour problems, he is at the bad end of the scale.

    Hang in there, hope things gets better soon.

    supportline.org.uk/

    A birthday is a great day to take stock of what you have and what life holds for you - a family is a gift and if you love your gift then there is always a way. If you have someone close to you outside of your immediate family then use them as a sounding board and support - we all need support and asking for help is a sign of strength and not a sign of weakness. I do feel for you - but things will get better.

    My friend found Supportline fantastic when she was going through a mid life crisis - they are basically there to be unbiased support and if you need it they can put you through to local contacts.

    Original Poster

    thanks for all of you`re comments,it`s nice to know that there are people out there that still care

    Yeah, people care, just you believe it too!

    Well happy birthday at least. I'm so sorry to see your situation. I'm sure that you must feel as if you've already talked this through until you and your wife are blue in the face. You must have had a strong relationship at some time to have been married for 30 years, so perhaps there is more talking to be done - perhaps with help as suggested above. It is sometimes unbearably difficult to cope with children with mental illness or learning problems and I know that it gets harder and harder for partners to support each other - what can they do or say to make anything better? - but I feel that two are always stronger than one and it may be that a temporary break may show that to be true. Whatever happens I wish you the very best and hope that you feel less depressed soon.

    I can't really say anymore than has already been said other than I wish you all the best and whatever happens it will get better

    awwww god bless you...... i really feel for you. my mum and dad split up a cpl of years back after being together 35yrs.... there's 5 of us and my eldest sister is mentally disabled.... she found this soooo hard to cope with. my dad really went through a bad time and we were all worried about him as he doted on my mum and they were together from the age of 17 so that was all he knew. to top it off my nanna and grandad (on dads side) who were such a huge part of our lives died 6 days within each other..... sorry to go on but all i'm trying to say is that he has learnt to carry on and he is a manic depressive. he has learnt to enjoy being without my mum because i think he now knows their relationship was only holding together for the sake of us kids.... this is the wrong thing to do because we definitely did suffer as hard as they tried to make sure we didn't...... you will come through this..... give yourself time and just think your children still need you no matter whether your with their mum or not.
    lotsa love to you

    hope you feel better soon mate

    Life deals us some harsh cards sometimes. Its how you play them that counts. I know your prob feeling beyond any of our understanding right now but try and be a fighter. Fight or Flight...
    Take the * break* to evaluate where you go from here, find external bodies who can assist your wife with the children. Maybe suggest some mediation for you both. Try looking at this as an obstacle you can work around.
    Your wifes cup has over flowed, do what you can to help her AND yourself.

    You never know whats around the corner, keep positive.

    happy birthday...sounds like ur going through really tough time. all the best but make sure u think long and hard about ur decision as it affects the whole family.x
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