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    Divorce in scotland - young kids - anyone know minimum time it can take

    My husband and I split up about 2-3 years ago and lived apart but in the past (till June this year)have discussed getting back together and me moving abroad with him. We have had marital relationship since we broke up and sold house (had to sign a 5050 split cos he wasnt going to sign sale doc but he emptied bank accts). Anyway i have decided getting back together wouldnt work as kids dont want to leave family here and move to China - anyone know shortest time a divorce can take in Scotland...just trying to work out if I should get it over and done with now or leave it till I findget into a new relationship - we married in 2002, and kids are 3 and 4...

    thanks for any advicethoughts on this - I have no savings an not currently working though may get part time work if I can fit it round kids nursery as dont drive and live in small village with low employment. I will be sorting myself out with a solicitor if I decide to go ahead but will probably be during next school holidays as wouldnt manage to get to solicitor and back in short time kids are at nursery. he lives in China and usually comes over once, maybe twice a year if he can fit it around his work (even though he is a contractor)

    15 Comments

    ...just trying to work out if I should get it over and done with now or leave it till I findget into a new relationship - we married in 2002, and kids are 3 and 4
    cant believe you said that part! if its final then get a divorce but why even contemplate another relationship? its beyond me!

    wulshaz;5996515

    ...just trying to work out if I should get it over and done with now or … ...just trying to work out if I should get it over and done with now or leave it till I findget into a new relationship - we married in 2002, and kids are 3 and 4cant believe you said that part! if its final then get a divorce but why even contemplate another relationship? its beyond me!



    I think the OP meant because of the difficult circumstances should she bother now or wait until the kids are older or until she's working etc etc.
    I don't see why she shouldn't contemplate another relationship, it's been a fair time until she split up with her husband. Why shouldn't she start again?

    OP, don't know anything about divorce in Scotland, I just wanted to say good luck and I hope it all works out ok :).

    Quick look at Google for you produced ]this. There's a section on length of time at the bottom but it bases it on not having kids under 16. But it's something to have a read at.

    Original Poster

    Yes cant seem to find anything about how long it takes when children are involved, he works away from home (which is in Asia now) 90% of year so cant see him wanting custody as he struggles to take them as it is due to work. Last time he was in Uk for work for about 7-10 days, he stayed at mine but then we were discussing moving to China, whether or not he had grown up and could seriously be faithful in future. He had told me his move to China meant he would be home a lot more so we could have a family life and rebuild trust and other issues but longest he has been at home is approx 2 weeks and thats cos he is recovering from burns he sustained while working - and knowing him he is probably still doing as much as he can via email and phone. He's a workaholic, who's work comes before family, and has problems staying faithful, though he has tried to persuade me it will be different. At end of day I have decided against trying any more, fed up of lies and false promises, and when I asked kids they would rather stay here with all their family around them than be stuck in a strange country with a dad they hardly know who is never home cos making as much money as he can is his priority.

    OMG! Glad you didnt move to China! I'm not going to be much help with this but if he gets with someone there he will be taklen for a ride! and if he's notr faithful to you here ther would be no chance in China, It's laid on a plate! I can't tell you what I really think! Anyway I really do hope you and you'r kids pick yourself up from this situation

    adp;5997118

    OMG! Glad you didnt move to China! I'm not going to be much help with … OMG! Glad you didnt move to China! I'm not going to be much help with this but if he gets with someone there he will be taken for a ride! Ting= Tong will get him! and if he's notr faithful to you here ther would be no chance in China, It's laid on a plate! I can't tell you what I really think! Anyway I really do hope you and you'r kids pick yourself up from this situation

    I would do it now and be free to move on - this might also help him realise there is no future in your relationship and stop mithering you to getback with him. I have severe concerns that you signed over 50% of your house in order to sell already. When children are involved, especially young ones, it's important that their needs are taken care of, and certainly in English law, the sale of the house is often part of the financial package and should take this into account.

    Good Luck for the future.

    Having children definitely complicates the issue hon as the courts will want to be assurred that the children of the marriage are happy, comfortable, settled and properly provided for, but as your OH is in another country most of the time I don't see how he can claim to want any more contact with them than he chooses to do presently.

    Good luck with whatever decisions you make, you sound like a very brave lady x x x

    Can be as little as two years (one if no children), it doesn' matter if you have a couple of reconcilliations as long as you have been split up for the majority of the time.

    Don't wait, new partners just complicate matters and its much easier to agree on matters when they are still fresh in your mind (it's amazing how dificult it is to remember the sequence of events after a coupleof years) and you still have records.

    Take care, chin up, and hope it is as quick and painless as possible.

    I just got divorced a few weeks ago (in Scotland) and the process took me about 8 weeks. It helped that I work in the solicitors that handled it. The average is about 16 weeks but I was lucky. I think though, that the process will take you much longer as the constant correspondence between Scotland and China will take ages to complete. It's not an ideal situation for you but if you get the ball rolling now, it could be over by the end of the year.

    Good luck and I really hope it works out well for you and the children.

    I got divorced in England as my hubby was same put his drinkin n womanizing first instead of our small children and me his gf has now left him as they're thousands in debt and she suspects him of cheating again. I think the fact that you're used to that person is more of a pull for getting together but I do believe that they never change no matter what they assure you. They are very selfish immature individuals who's needs/wants come before anything else. I would say get divorced now so you know where you are with your children and look after you and you kids if anyone else comes along brill if not you've still got the joy and love of you kids. Good luck x x x

    I am going through a divorce in England at the moment so may not be quite the same but as long as you both agree on the arrangements for the children it does not matter in the eyes of the court. All they are bothered about is that the children will be well looked after and that you can cover any childcare issues whilst working etc. If you and your soon to be ex agree for you to have custody and for him to visit when he can it will not hold up the process. It's only really if there are other court proceedings running parallel for the children that there is an issue, like if you were battling for full custody, then there's an issue. Also I couldn't see it mentioned but he would also have to agree to the divorce for it to go through quick, if he is not going to sign the paperwork and return it speedily, that's a whole different matter.

    Banned

    So has he got a wife and kids over in china too , if so it could work in your favour

    oh hun its always sad going through these things. dont let him sucker u back in though. sometimes we feel vulnerable and men know these things.

    get ur divorce and get a life away from him. he made his choices so why let him come back and crash at urs when he comes back etc. he is loving how easy it is for him. give him a good old solid boot!
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