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    Domestic Violence

    So the people think that domestic violence is only to females when theres a stark fact that males get abused too and alot of it gets swept under the carpet or unreported.

    So if you knew of a male who was physically or mentally abused by a female what advice would you give particulary so when the couple have young children together

    110 Comments

    get him to seek some advice from a support group- there are some specifically for men with people who have been through it too and possibly a solicitor. it wont stop and will only get worse this will also impact on the children, be there for him and listen. he has to be ready to address it but you can help and support him.

    Banned

    I think you must live under a stone if you believe it only affects females.

    Best of luck I know it must be hard. Try be strong and do what you feel is best.

    There is support out there so please use it.

    I would ban usernames referencing violence against men.

    Banned

    Rubisco

    I would ban usernames referencing violence against men.



    I was tempted to say the username couldn't be more suitable but I didn't have it in me.

    kick_u_in_the_nuts

    ...what advice would you give particulary so when the couple have young … ...what advice would you give particulary so when the couple have young children together



    [ new.mankind.org.uk ]
    ---
    Call 01823 334244

    Confidential helpline for male victims of domestic abuse and domestic violence

    Weekdays 10am to 4pm

    Call 999 if in immediate danger
    ---

    Same advice I would give to a woman, get out of the relationship, if not for yourself then for the child. I know it's easier said than done but staying in an abusive relationship will not fix it. They both need to seek help and once they've both dealt with their own individual issues they can try again.

    Banned

    Make sure all his family & friends know.

    Because if the woman is that violent & controlling then she will tell the police that she is the victim just to get another one over her partner.

    Trust me on this one.

    Banned

    How long has this been happening? Recent or is it a constant event?

    Have you bit your lip for the kids and finally reached the end of your tether?

    I hope someone can suggest a suitable forum for you because this isn't it.There must be a forum out there that specialises in this with people who have overcome it and people who are going through it.

    I apologise on behalf of anyone who will make a joke in here even if it isn't meant to offend but I know you won't see it like that.

    You can always PM me too I am more than happy to help however I can.

    No one should be a victim, male or female. Walking away will often seem impossible but it's the only logical solution. I hope they get all the help and support they need.

    Banned

    Just look at this for how society is so uneducated.

    m.youtube.com/wat…YtQ

    There is a domestic violence helpline. They are working in the police and will come out and see you to discuss what they can do to help, such as alarms etc.

    Banned

    PM'd you

    Banned

    YouDontWantToKnow

    PM'd you



    Good man.

    I'd suggest getting off here and googling charities, they will offer support well some of them will.

    Phone the samaritines if you need to vent.

    Phone police if **** kicks off.

    Rubisco

    I would ban usernames referencing violence against men.


    ... and squirrels!

    Banned

    Glad to see that muppets comments have gone.

    Well done mods.

    Banned

    Error440

    Phone police if **** kicks off.



    You have no idea. The first & only position of the Police is to blame & isolate the male from the household. If you want to test this theory then next time you have a row with your missus dial 999 & see what happens.

    Error440

    Phone police if **** kicks off.

    YouDontWantToKnow

    You have no idea. ...next time you have a row with your missus dial 999 & … You have no idea. ...next time you have a row with your missus dial 999 & see what happens.



    Oh dear.


    YouDontWantToKnow

    You have no idea. The first & only position of the Police is to blame & … You have no idea. The first & only position of the Police is to blame & isolate the male from the household. If you want to test this theory then next time you have a row with your missus dial 999 & see what happens.




    First off I'm female, secondly the man of the house has lost his marbles and thirdly when I went to the police they implied it took two to tango and told me to go see if I could get on the council housing list.

    Banned

    Error440

    Phone police if **** kicks off.

    YouDontWantToKnow

    You have no idea. ...next time you have a row with your missus dial 999 & … You have no idea. ...next time you have a row with your missus dial 999 & see what happens.


    Who cares? The comment still stands.

    MrScotchBonnet

    Who cares? The comment still stands.



    I refer you to comment #20.

    Banned

    fanpages

    Oh dear.



    Yep and? I have been through a divorce & she wasnt even living in the house but used to come around causing trouble & after not getting her way for after a couple of hours of abuse from her used to call 999. So instead of going home to where she lived (taking our kids with her) got me arrested twice.. Because my friend. They always REMOVE THE MALE

    Edit........ No charges for me but a blatant advantage taken by her & applied by the police.
    Edited by: "YouDontWantToKnow" 11th Nov 2016

    Banned

    fanpages

    I refer you to comment #20.



    Your comment was before comment #20 was even active.

    YouDontWantToKnow

    ...They always REMOVE THE MALE



    I refer you to comment #20.

    MrScotchBonnet

    Who cares? The comment still stands.

    fanpages

    I refer you to comment #20.

    MrScotchBonnet

    Your comment was before comment #20 was even active.



    OK, I will make it easy for you; Error440 cares, & corrected the claim made by YouDontWantToKnow.

    Banned

    MrScotchBonnet

    Who cares? The comment still stands.

    fanpages

    I refer you to comment #20.

    MrScotchBonnet

    Your comment was before comment #20 was even active.



    I like your humour I really do, but the smart front you put on annoys me.

    Banned

    Error440

    First off I'm female, secondly the man of the house has lost his marbles … First off I'm female, secondly the man of the house has lost his marbles and thirdly when I went to the police they implied it took two to tango and told me to go see if I could get on the council housing list.



    This thread is about female abuse to males.

    MrScotchBonnet

    I like your humour I really do, but the smart front you put on annoys me.



    Error440 has relayed the incident in a previous thread. I just paid attention.

    I know a lot of men, their wives just yell and command them. These men are all quietly spoken and back off though.

    YouDontWantToKnow

    Yep and? I have been through a divorce & she wasnt even living in the … Yep and? I have been through a divorce & she wasnt even living in the house but used to come around causing trouble & after not getting her way for after a couple of hours of abuse from her used to call 999. So instead of going home to where she lived (taking our kids with her) got me arrested twice.. Because my friend. They always REMOVE THE MALE Edit........ No charges for me but a blatant advantage taken by her & applied by the police.




    Really well they haven't removed mine despite his threats, its just oh well he wouldn't be saying things like that for no reason, normally it takes two to tango etc.

    The words he's nuts apparently dont register with police brains, yes I must have said something to him telepathically to have him come home shouting about how all his misery in life is my fault and rambling rubbish like blaming his insomnia on fear I'm going to stab him in his sleep, shouting about burning the house down with everyone in it etc

    Fact is if someone has a knife to you, phone 999, not saying thats ever happened to me but I know thats when they act and thats all you got anyway, no one else to call.

    Banned

    splender

    I know a lot of men, their wives just yell and command them. These men … I know a lot of men, their wives just yell and command them. These men are all quietly spoken and back off though.



    Or the blokes just get out of the house as much as possible & use the excuse of "having a pint with their mates" as an excuse just because they want to be away from their abuser.

    YouDontWantToKnow

    Or the blokes just get out of the house as much as possible & use the … Or the blokes just get out of the house as much as possible & use the excuse of "having a pint with their mates" as an excuse just because they want to be away from their abuser.


    May be, the ones that I know don't go too pubs that often. And does it raise another issue, the wives yell them again when they come back smelling of pub?

    Banned

    splender

    May be, the ones that I know don't go too pubs that often. And does it … May be, the ones that I know don't go too pubs that often. And does it raise another issue, the wives yell them again when they come back smelling of pub?



    Depends how you see it & yes you will be right. But that doesnt stop the 4 or 5 guys I know that are sick to death of the abuse they get from their wives that they fill their times with community work, junior football, scout clubs etc etc any excuse to be out of their own homes.

    YouDontWantToKnow

    Depends how you see it & yes you will be right. But that doesnt stop the … Depends how you see it & yes you will be right. But that doesnt stop the 4 or 5 guys I know that are sick to death of the abuse they get from their wives that they fill their times with community work, junior football, scout clubs etc etc any excuse to be out of their own homes.


    That's a familar situation to here!

    Banned

    This place is a joke. I'm sure a thread about cancer could turn into a debate.

    OP I will PM you a suitable place to post this as here just isn't the place and never will be.

    Banned

    splender

    That's a familar situation to here!



    Because they do not want to lose access to their kids which they know that will happen including loosing any money in the bank & their houses. That is why they do it. Just carry on regardless.

    YouDontWantToKnow

    Depends how you see it & yes you will be right. But that doesnt stop the … Depends how you see it & yes you will be right. But that doesnt stop the 4 or 5 guys I know that are sick to death of the abuse they get from their wives that they fill their times with community work, junior football, scout clubs etc etc any excuse to be out of their own homes.




    Maybe they should get couples therapy and get to the bottom of it rather then exacerbating the situation. maybe they have depression which is what I think mine has, its a misnomer that they spend all their time being sad and not doing anything, what depressed men do is blame their families for everything, they can seem perfectly fine round friends but are callous, selfish angry things around their familes. and that can lead to a loop of behaviour from both parties.

    Banned

    Error440

    that can lead to a loop of behaviour from both parties.



    This thread is about men.

    Have you ever taken your wife/husband out for a meal or drinks on their birthday only to get battered from behind with closed fists after you got home whilst watching TV just because they didnt didnt have a nice day (they drunk too much)?

    It happens

    Oh yeah.. & she kept the house and my daughter!

    Edited by: "YouDontWantToKnow" 11th Nov 2016

    YouDontWantToKnow

    Because they do not want to lose access to their kids which they know … Because they do not want to lose access to their kids which they know that will happen including loosing any money in the bank & their houses. That is why they do it. Just carry on regardless.


    Will sound controversial here in MISC, asian women don't do as much "yelling" and more docile and homely and cooks good food, say relatively rough guess 10-15 more docile persons per 100 women, but this causes more immigration which wouldn't go down well with others here in MISC e.g. a Thai or Philippino. Am not trying to be provocative, just anecdotal with no science, just saying from casual acquaintances, I do know of so many men do this and happy. I am not being sexist or raciststoo, as the asian women's white mother-in-laws here very happy too for their sons being "pampered" and are more extended family like inclusive of grandparents. And in the context of OP's thread, I have never heard of asian woman beating up her white man here.

    Edited by: "splender" 11th Nov 2016

    YouDontWantToKnow

    This thread is about men.Have you ever taken your wife/husband out for a … This thread is about men.Have you ever taken your wife/husband out for a meal or drinks on their birthday only to get battered from behind with closed fists after you got home whilst watching TV just because they didnt didnt have a nice day (they drunk too much)?



    Nope but I did get slapped from behind once while washing up for "deliberately" splashing water on him.

    Simple solution if things like Relate or anger management is out of the question, leave.

    If you stopped being sexist maybe you'd be able to take on board the point better, the police is all you have if crap hits the fan, no point bitching about it no domestic abuse charity has vigilantes who will come round your door to save you. now I know theres a lot more support for physical abuse then for emotional abuse and mental health but if you do go to some charities what exactly do you think they are going to do? They are only going to offer counselling maybe if your lucky, group therapy/meetings and advise you to leave, they may offer you a shelter and free legal advice.
    Edited by: "Segata-Sanshiro" 11th Nov 2016
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