*For fun* worst off work sick reason you have given or a colleague has?

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Found 20th Jul
Just read a thread about people taking excessive (maybe the wrong choice of word) sick days off work.

Made me think of a colleague of mine who takes days off for many different small reasons that makes you think 'come on, really'

What's your weakest excuse or what is one of a colleague?
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adamderak5 h, 39 m ago

Was a manager and a staff member rang in. She was distraught , in tears. I …Was a manager and a staff member rang in. She was distraught , in tears. I feared a close family member had passed away.Eventually she was able to break the heart breaking news." I've just got back from the vet and they had to put Milly (cat) doesn'tShe had 8 cats, 4 dogs and Various other animals.I took the sympathetic approach as obviously some people are very close to Thier pets.When itold my senior , his response was wtf!


My dog was in the vets really ill whilst i was at work, and the vets phoned me saying that they advised the dog should be put down, now i wanted to be there and say my goodbyes to him, so asked to leave work, and my manager looked at me like i was mad! I get some people see animals in a different way to others, but id had that dog for 14 years, theres no way i wasn't going to be there with him when they put him to sleep!
Phoned in and told my boss "I won't be in as I'm sick", boss asked "how sick are you" and i replied "Well I'm in bed with my sister"
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I had a member of my team call me to say he couldn’t come in because his sisters cat was missing
Thinking of it also had a guy who was regularly late and his reason.... well his alarm got turned off by the ghost living in his bedroom. This happened atleast once a month.
andy18618627 m ago

Thinking of it also had a guy who was regularly late and his reason.... …Thinking of it also had a guy who was regularly late and his reason.... well his alarm got turned off by the ghost living in his bedroom. This happened atleast once a month.


Ha ha what could you say to that. I suppose there is people who could be that whacky.

I bet it was always a monday
Forgot to add my own. Not wierd but the admin of my department left early 1 day complaining that his eyes were sore. I can't say they weren't but he made sure everybody was aware of it before he dropped the I have to go cause I can't take it anymore line. When he went to see the boss to tell him he was going I saw him rubbing his eyes aggressively, I presume for effect. He had two days self cert without a visit to the doctor. He has done the same thing 3 times in less than 2 years same length of time off.
Maybe he has a problem, I find it doubtful, he has lots of little random sick days for the littlest complaint so I think he fakes it.
Edited by: "BFCsider" 20th Jul
Total honesty, I've never faked a sickness. TBH I very rarely have a sick day as I'm lucky enough to avoid illnesses and if i do there very mild and I prefer to work through them.
I did once however pass out at the start of a shift as I was heavy on the sauce the night before. I remember rushing to the toilet to throw up, next thing I was led on the floor with a people panicking around me. I recovered and felt great within minutes, but I blagged that I had felt dizzy the previous night and better go home for rest 😁 I'm such a rebel.

That was 1 of the 2 times I've ever passed out. The other was also beer related. It is a funny story but I've jabbered enough. If you want to hear it ask, I would love to tell it.
Edited by: "BFCsider" 20th Jul
Stress but they were caught driving taxis whilst off sick for six months.
Was a manager and a staff member rang in. She was distraught , in tears. I feared a close family member had passed away.
Eventually she was able to break the heart breaking news.
" I've just got back from the vet and they had to put Milly (cat) doesn't
She had 8 cats, 4 dogs and Various other animals.
I took the sympathetic approach as obviously some people are very close to Thier pets.
When itold my senior , his response was wtf!
Why is it when you are genuinely sick and you have to make that drreaded call, suddenly your voice goes into I'm so healthy sounding voice. This than prompts you to put hoarse throat which sounds oh so fake.
Having put phone down you realise the sore throat voice had no relation to the given reason of sickness.
cmdr_elito2 h, 54 m ago

Stress but they were caught driving taxis whilst off sick for six months.


Similar thing where I worked, someone was off sick with stress and went on the tv show 'take me out'
Ha ha the sick voice even though it's something totally irrelevant I.e. headache or back pain. Hilarious. On par with laying the foundations the day before while at work
I had a chap who worked for me, and was due back to work after two weeks holiday in mexico, he called to say he couldnt come in as he had botfly larvae in his head. I initially thought he was pulling a fast one and fancied a few extra days after his holiday.

However I was impressed when he brought two of the critters in a small jar for us to see. Gruesome little things.
There's a person who has had about seven parents die in the past five years.
A week or more Compassionate leave each time.
My wife used to work in the NHS and one of the women there used to have the same illness on the same two weeks every summer???
Being the NHS and having the managers change every few months no one noticed for years. . .
Work related stress, especially amusing when it comes from employees with exceptionally easy and low importance work.

It is almost as if not liking your job is a valid reason to be off sick.
One person said to me he could not as he forgot to put the recycling bin out and had to chase the lorry down the road.
i got a call to tell me a guy in his late 40s had split the skin on his..... and was in hospital, apparently there was blood every where.

I just told people he would be back in a few days, when he came back he happily told everyone in the office why he was off, think he thought himself as some type of legend but the reality is it was an image many of us have burned in our memories but luckily he didnt want to show us.
adamderak5 h, 39 m ago

Was a manager and a staff member rang in. She was distraught , in tears. I …Was a manager and a staff member rang in. She was distraught , in tears. I feared a close family member had passed away.Eventually she was able to break the heart breaking news." I've just got back from the vet and they had to put Milly (cat) doesn'tShe had 8 cats, 4 dogs and Various other animals.I took the sympathetic approach as obviously some people are very close to Thier pets.When itold my senior , his response was wtf!


My dog was in the vets really ill whilst i was at work, and the vets phoned me saying that they advised the dog should be put down, now i wanted to be there and say my goodbyes to him, so asked to leave work, and my manager looked at me like i was mad! I get some people see animals in a different way to others, but id had that dog for 14 years, theres no way i wasn't going to be there with him when they put him to sleep!
Remember once a guy phoning the supervisor on a Thursday night saying he wouldn't be in Friday as he was sick.
Supervisor asked him how sick he was. Guy says I'll tell you how sick I am I'm here in the house with question time on, watching Ann widdicome and having a sherman.
Supervisor told him he'd better take the next week off too.
jimmy_the_fridge17 m ago

Remember once a guy phoning the supervisor on a Thursday night saying he …Remember once a guy phoning the supervisor on a Thursday night saying he wouldn't be in Friday as he was sick.Supervisor asked him how sick he was. Guy says I'll tell you how sick I am I'm here in the house with question time on, watching Ann widdicome and having a sherman.Supervisor told him he'd better take the next week off too.


Did he ever recover from the widdicoma? Bless his soul
sparxuk1 h, 27 m ago

My dog was in the vets really ill whilst i was at work, and the vets …My dog was in the vets really ill whilst i was at work, and the vets phoned me saying that they advised the dog should be put down, now i wanted to be there and say my goodbyes to him, so asked to leave work, and my manager looked at me like i was mad! I get some people see animals in a different way to others, but id had that dog for 14 years, theres no way i wasn't going to be there with him when they put him to sleep!


Is it catist to be far more sympathetic to your scenario as opposed to someone loosing thier cat.
Wierd but i would be far more sympathetic to someone loosing thier dog.
We've had loads of excuses come in from the guys here....

- Windscreen wipers are broke and it's raining.
- hit a tree (colleague drove past and he had a twig sticking in grill)
- fell through the loft hatch and twisted his ankle
- Got arrested.. used 1 phone call to ring work (from mates mobile pretending to be desk Sgt)
and lots more I can't remember!

ones I have used.. for real!
- A Scouse student ran across the road and over my bonnet through windshield (it's ok I wasn't hurt)
- Oncoming motorist hit a BULL walking down road and crashed into me writing off both cars ( Bull did a back flip, landed in field.. got up and walked off) srs!! was fun explaining that one to insurance company
It was my thread.

BTW the one in question racked 21 days in six months ( and counting) not having any disability/ long term illness!
Phoned in and told my boss "I won't be in as I'm sick", boss asked "how sick are you" and i replied "Well I'm in bed with my sister"
A guy I used to work with rang in because apparently his cat had turned the microwave on and set it on fire.
adamderak8 h, 54 m ago

Why is it when you are genuinely sick and you have to make that drreaded …Why is it when you are genuinely sick and you have to make that drreaded call, suddenly your voice goes into I'm so healthy sounding voice. This than prompts you to put hoarse throat which sounds oh so fake.Having put phone down you realise the sore throat voice had no relation to the given reason of sickness.


You should do what I do. Get your missus to ring in while you hide under the duvet with it pressed against your ears.
boabbyrab17 m ago

Phoned in and told my boss "I won't be in as I'm sick", boss asked "how …Phoned in and told my boss "I won't be in as I'm sick", boss asked "how sick are you" and i replied "Well I'm in bed with my sister"



That is truly sick
boabbyrab57 m ago

Phoned in and told my boss "I won't be in as I'm sick", boss asked "how …Phoned in and told my boss "I won't be in as I'm sick", boss asked "how sick are you" and i replied "Well I'm in bed with my sister"


That excuse would not get you out of work in Norfolk...
One of my colleges booked a day off to have a endoscopy, not a nice procedure I know, but she then took a further week off to get over the trauma of having something shoved up her bum.
deeky1 h, 20 m ago

You should do what I do. Get your missus to ring in while you hide under …You should do what I do. Get your missus to ring in while you hide under the duvet with it pressed against your ears.


Managers have said unless You are in a coma or have lost the ability to speak than you have to ring in yourself.
adamderak5 m ago

Managers have said unless You are in a coma or have lost the ability to …Managers have said unless You are in a coma or have lost the ability to speak than you have to ring in yourself.


Live your life with the duvet cover pressed against your ears, then you can't hear that stupid demand.

Touché
Lad I worked with called in sick because he was 'too tired'. Also had some other whoppers like 'can't come in because my girlfriends mad at me'. He didn't last long, you wonder how some people get through life.
Edited by: "spaceinvader" 20th Jul
spaceinvader1 h, 31 m ago

Lad I worked with called in sick because he was 'too tired'. Also had some …Lad I worked with called in sick because he was 'too tired'. Also had some other whoppers like 'can't come in because my girlfriends mad at me'. He didn't last long, you wonder how some people get through life.


Ha ha too tired. Had a lad who turned up for work begging to be allowed the day off as he was tired and hadn't slept a wink. We later found out he had been up all night in an online poker tournament and had won 8K for 3rd place.
Well done I say.
A colleague of mine called in to say they were coming late because there was a swan in her garden pond.

Everyone was surprised when she came in with photo evidence later on...
True story, I used to work with a bloke years ago who was always late for work or didn't show up. One winter his last excuse was (before he was sacked) was his heating had broken down and his bedroom door was frozen shut so couldn't get out of the house !!
I had a member of staff ring in sick because his favourite character on Star Trek had been killed off on screen the night before and he was too upset to come in. Same person didn’t turn up one day, he eventually phoned in to say he’d been arrested the night before, his flat had been broken into, the police were called by neighbors and they found magic mushrooms drying so arrested him!!
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