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The day finally arrived; Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.
He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the
gates
are closed and Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper.

St. Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it's certainly good to see you.
We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the
place is filling up fast, and we've been administering an entrance
examination
for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you
can
get into Heaven."

Forrest responds, "It shor is good to be here, St. Peter, sir.
But nobody ever tolt me about any entrance exam. Shor hope the test
ain't too hard; life was a big enough test as it was."

St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only
three questions.

First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T?
Second: How many seconds are there in a year?
Third: What is God's first name?"
Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next
day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up and says, "Now that you have

Forrest says, "Well, the first one -- which two days in the week
begin with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one's easy. That'd be Today
and
Tomorrow . The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest,
that's
not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I
didn't specify, so I'll give you credit for that answer. How about
the next one?" asks St. Peter.

"How many seconds in a year?"

"Now that one's harder," says Forrest, "but I thunk and thunk

Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve!? Forrest, how in
Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?"

Forrest says "Shucks, there's gotta be twelve:
January 2nd, February2nd, March 2nd. . . ...."

"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with
this, and I see your point, though that wasn't quite what I had in
mind.....but I'll have to give you credit for that one, too.
Let's go on
with the third and final question. Can you tell me God's first name"?

"Sure", Forrest replied, "it's Andy."

"Andy?!" exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter. "Ok,
I can understand how youcame up with your answers to my first two
questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name
Andy
as the first name of God?"

"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I
learnt it from the hymn. . . "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME,

ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN. . . ."
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.St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said: "Run Forrest, run."

i hoped that was going to make me laugh....but it didnt

shanecr;1492681

i hoped that was going to make me laugh....but it didnt

sickipedia.org/

much better site for jokes..

like

whats the first sign of Madness ???

Suggs walking up your driveway !!

That's the funniest joke I've ever read, excellent!!!:thumbsup:

Did you detect the sarcasm?

That's one minute of my life I'll never get back!

oh, it weren't bad...it just weren't good.....

karnorjax;1492874

http://www.sickipedia.org/

Hopefully someone will pull the plug on that site. The McCann joke was especially sick.:x

Predikuesi;1493110

Hopefully someone will pull the plug on that site. The McCann joke was … Hopefully someone will pull the plug on that site. The McCann joke was especially sick.:x

I just read that myself. Totally not on. :x

theres some awful jokes on there, sick is not the word :-(