FREE helplines to support those experiencing loneliness and bereavement

28
Posted 24th Dec 2019
Not really a deal, but a conversation on another thread made me think, and whilst I know this could be in the “discussions” section, i believe it deserves a place in “deals” to reach more people at this time of year, which can be an extremely challenging time for many.

If your reading this and think you need to, please call any of the following numbers

Suicide Helpline - dial 116 123 (samaritans)

Further ways to contact:
samaritans.org/how…an/

Bereavement Helpline

Free helpline: 0808 808 1677
cruse.org.uk/tel…mas

Coping with Divorce and Separation from family members over Christmas

Free helpline :08088002222
familylives.org.uk/adv…ed/

And lots of other really useful links to support groups for anyone experiencing loneliness over this period here

itv.com/thi…nes

Yes, I know this has been posted before (@stevey_py7 and @delightful123), but this was a while ago now and I wouldn’t mind this being in my inbox every week if it helped someone
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MrSprkle24/12/2019 15:27

This shoudl be pinned to the main page let alone hidden away in misc..Well …This shoudl be pinned to the main page let alone hidden away in misc..Well Done OP


Completely agree.

Shame on the site hiding this away.

I'll make the same offer this year as last.

If anyone should need to talk to someone tomorrow my mailbox is open.

I can't promise I'll be able to send an instant reply but I will send one.
This shoudl be pinned to the main page let alone hidden away in misc..

Well Done OP
Not everyone talks openly about mental health issues. It is still very much a stigma about all that this can encompass. Personally I talk openly about it after a bereavement of my partner at a young age (4 years ago - I was 36 then her mother passed away 1 month later). I actually had my first I dunno what panic/anxiety kinda attack last weekend in Asda, it was hard to admit after it anyone and I'm used to public speaking,training etc. When my partner did pass away I did seek help in the bereavement and no matter what family and friends you have around you, just some things you feel you can't say or keep bottled inside yourself, guess the typical male lol. In other posting I've said Christmas can be hard, not the giving of presents the receipt or more the lack of receipt from who you wish was still there, its the stranger you wish to speak with not the family around you.
After all this I can say the same, I'm here to talk with for anyone during this time or any other time. Or just cars, F1, Chess, or to be really boring batching picking principles within voice directed warehousing environments. Or giving up smoking after all the above! (had nothing related with the passing away of people abopve btw)
Edited by: "cecilmcroberts" 24th Dec 2019
28 Comments
This shoudl be pinned to the main page let alone hidden away in misc..

Well Done OP
MrSprkle24/12/2019 15:27

This shoudl be pinned to the main page let alone hidden away in misc..Well …This shoudl be pinned to the main page let alone hidden away in misc..Well Done OP


Completely agree.

Shame on the site hiding this away.

I'll make the same offer this year as last.

If anyone should need to talk to someone tomorrow my mailbox is open.

I can't promise I'll be able to send an instant reply but I will send one.
This is really useful, I'm going through the loss of my mother a few weeks ago so this is stuff i may need
MrSprkle24/12/2019 15:27

This shoudl be pinned to the main page let alone hidden away in misc..Well …This shoudl be pinned to the main page let alone hidden away in misc..Well Done OP


Totally agree especially and this time of year. Should be on the main deals page
360finder24/12/2019 15:29

Completely agree.Shame on the site hiding this away.I'll make the same …Completely agree.Shame on the site hiding this away.I'll make the same offer this year as last.If anyone should need to talk to someone tomorrow my mailbox is open.I can't promise I'll be able to send an instant reply but I will send one.


That is so kind of you.
Justsuperman24/12/2019 15:38

This is really useful, I'm going through the loss of my mother a few weeks …This is really useful, I'm going through the loss of my mother a few weeks ago so this is stuff i may need


I’m so sorry to read that

This must be a really difficult time for youand your family.
Edited by: "myusernamehasgone234" 24th Dec 2019
myusernamehasgone23424/12/2019 16:07

That is so kind of you.


Offer stands all year tbf. Just know how hard some can find this time of year and with other facilities closed the community here may be ant of us have to reach out too.
Shame this is not made prominent and not hidden away in discussions.
antdav24/12/2019 17:00

Shame this is not made prominent and not hidden away in discussions.


It’s difficult no non deals are allowed anymore and if you allow one back then I guess you have to allow others.
myusernamehasgone23424/12/2019 19:12

It’s difficult no non deals are allowed anymore and if you allow one back t …It’s difficult no non deals are allowed anymore and if you allow one back then I guess you have to allow others.


I do get it, but wouldn't a little bit of social responsibility posted/pinned to the homepage as they do for Flamedeer/in-house promotions be very little effort for what could make a huge difference.

Let's be honest if this was an Editors post it would be on front page.
360finder24/12/2019 20:18

I do get it, but wouldn't a little bit of social responsibility …I do get it, but wouldn't a little bit of social responsibility posted/pinned to the homepage as they do for Flamedeer/in-house promotions be very little effort for what could make a huge difference.Let's be honest if this was an Editors post it would be on front page.


My point 💯
Not everyone talks openly about mental health issues. It is still very much a stigma about all that this can encompass. Personally I talk openly about it after a bereavement of my partner at a young age (4 years ago - I was 36 then her mother passed away 1 month later). I actually had my first I dunno what panic/anxiety kinda attack last weekend in Asda, it was hard to admit after it anyone and I'm used to public speaking,training etc. When my partner did pass away I did seek help in the bereavement and no matter what family and friends you have around you, just some things you feel you can't say or keep bottled inside yourself, guess the typical male lol. In other posting I've said Christmas can be hard, not the giving of presents the receipt or more the lack of receipt from who you wish was still there, its the stranger you wish to speak with not the family around you.
After all this I can say the same, I'm here to talk with for anyone during this time or any other time. Or just cars, F1, Chess, or to be really boring batching picking principles within voice directed warehousing environments. Or giving up smoking after all the above! (had nothing related with the passing away of people abopve btw)
Edited by: "cecilmcroberts" 24th Dec 2019
Been on my own for 19 years got on with things but in the last 8 months have been taking anxiety /panic attacks its made my daily life hell .spoke to doc heres tablets dnt want tablets .but whats option .
Nana1425/12/2019 11:54

Been on my own for 19 years got on with things but in the last 8 months …Been on my own for 19 years got on with things but in the last 8 months have been taking anxiety /panic attacks its made my daily life hell .spoke to doc heres tablets dnt want tablets .but whats option .


Morning and Merry Christmas to you.

Medication is a tough call to make for any individual and I know that some GPs can make you feel like it's them giving you the easiest option.

Medication treats the symptoms but not the cause and on its own will never be the cure. Tablets will reduce the palpitations, sweats, trembling and impending sense of doom but not what is making you feel that in the first instance.

It should always be coupled with some kind of talking therapy at a level no GP is really capable of offering. Been able to know the trigger is of a much higher value than the medication as that's when you can start to work on or at least with the issue.

Anxiety has been a battle for me for a number of years and after been handed this miracle pill after that miracle pill didn't work I managed to find a counsellor with whom I could relate and more importantly felt related to me and my situation.

There will never be an overnight cure but I have more good days than bad now and have the tools to manage my emotions and to a degree my reactions to my triggers.

I really would advise you talk to your GP about a therapy referral to work alongside the medication.

Do you know what your trigger(s) is? Did your GP even ask this question? Or reach straight for medication and call in their next patient? Which sadly due to lack of funding, knowledge and time the NHS seems to use the latter for most situations.
Reached for prescription ,take them for 3 months then come back and we will see how they working .Am taking anxiety attacks in shops dnt want to be out but dnt want to be at home .Living on my own dnt help but will try to pull my self together
Nana1425/12/2019 13:04

Reached for prescription ,take them for 3 months then come back and we …Reached for prescription ,take them for 3 months then come back and we will see how they working .Am taking anxiety attacks in shops dnt want to be out but dnt want to be at home .Living on my own dnt help but will try to pull my self together


The follow up after three months will likely be to see if they've had any affect on symptoms or a placebo on all.

I understand how you may be feeling. Isolated but also to an extent enjoying the isolation, or at the least trying to convince yourself of it.

Do you find you only go to the shops? Big supermarkets? Small convenience stores? Do you have any clubs/hobbies to attend? With the user name nana I'll assume your a mature lady, do you craft? Cards, Knitting etc? Sometimes that's not only a great escape at home (I know it does wonders for me) but can be gateway to meeting new people and attending clubs for a social element rather than crowded stores was a benefit to me too.

I know we're all different but by sharing experiences we can really help each other to work with the things we can feel we suffer with. The important thing to remember is there is no such thing as a miracle cure but remember on the good/better days to make a note of all the things you achieved that day/time/visit.

If you have anxiety in shops/busy places then this time of year is really going to heighten that but in a few more days it will calm again and small achievements can feel possible again.

Have you been provided with any coping strategies or exercises for how you feel?
360finder24/12/2019 20:18

I do get it, but wouldn't a little bit of social responsibility …I do get it, but wouldn't a little bit of social responsibility posted/pinned to the homepage as they do for Flamedeer/in-house promotions be very little effort for what could make a huge difference.Let's be honest if this was an Editors post it would be on front page.


Yes occasionally editors discussion post do end on the front page. I hadn't considered that.

However I would argue who do you pick which ones to highlight.

I would argue that it's equally important to raise awareness for example of food poverty as there will be families / individuals struggling to afford to eat today.
Edited by: "myusernamehasgone234" 25th Dec 2019
myusernamehasgone23425/12/2019 14:41

Yes occasionally editors discussion post do end on the front page. I …Yes occasionally editors discussion post do end on the front page. I hadn't considered that.However I would argue who do you pick which ones to highlight. I would argue that it's equally important to raise awareness for example of food poverty as there will be families / individuals struggling to afford to eat today.


Good afternoon, seasons greetings.

There are many reasons people will find today/this time of year a struggle.

Each and everyone of those reasons is valid and it's important that 'we' society realise that.

With that said, I feel that the pinning of helpline numbers to a page for 24/48 hours would go along way to 1: potentially saving a life 2: normalising mental health, which at the moment this country has a real problem with doing. Though I have to say the next generations are well on the ball about their own mental health and that of the peers. Though it's a thin knife edge and could change at any point. I realise this is a blanket statement and a generalisation, perhaps linked to the positive work that has taken place in my children's schools after the loss of some very young lives.

Perhaps, an editor, a PEP (or a new PEP ) could push this agenda moving forward for next year. Or a new section to be created for charitable not for profit organisations who can help those in need.

Much like a gambling website has to point people to GamCare. Perhaps HUKD could point people in the direction of financial help with trusted organisations in their area.

This site whilst designed to help people save a little can soon start to make people feel the pressure to spend, obtain credit and make/take risks.
360finder25/12/2019 15:39

Good afternoon, seasons greetings.There are many reasons people will find …Good afternoon, seasons greetings.There are many reasons people will find today/this time of year a struggle.Each and everyone of those reasons is valid and it's important that 'we' society realise that. With that said, I feel that the pinning of helpline numbers to a page for 24/48 hours would go along way to 1: potentially saving a life 2: normalising mental health, which at the moment this country has a real problem with doing. Though I have to say the next generations are well on the ball about their own mental health and that of the peers. Though it's a thin knife edge and could change at any point. I realise this is a blanket statement and a generalisation, perhaps linked to the positive work that has taken place in my children's schools after the loss of some very young lives.Perhaps, an editor, a PEP (or a new PEP ) could push this agenda moving forward for next year. Or a new section to be created for charitable not for profit organisations who can help those in need.Much like a gambling website has to point people to GamCare. Perhaps HUKD could point people in the direction of financial help with trusted organisations in their area.This site whilst designed to help people save a little can soon start to make people feel the pressure to spend, obtain credit and make/take risks.


Yeah a charitable section would be great idea.


I'm afraid I don't think I will have any influence but everyone is able to send feedback to the HUKD's team.

I do keep commenting to try keep this at the top of discussions.
Bump
Bump
Thanks to all those who shared my view regarding where this should be posted. To be honest, the whole, “where do we draw the line?” argument is even worse than the “the charities are offering help permanently, so its not a deal” response I got yesterday. I now completely understand the motivation of those who run this site and am under no illusions about how they define ‘community led’.
The point made about this site encouraging spending (and the subsequent impact on mental health) is an interesting one and I’m sure we will see it revisited in the future!
reformedEffortMaker26/12/2019 07:33

Thanks to all those who shared my view regarding where this should be …Thanks to all those who shared my view regarding where this should be posted. To be honest, the whole, “where do we draw the line?” argument is even worse than the “the charities are offering help permanently, so its not a deal” response I got yesterday. I now completely understand the motivation of those who run this site and am under no illusions about how they define ‘community led’. The point made about this site encouraging spending (and the subsequent impact on mental health) is an interesting one and I’m sure we will see it revisited in the future!



Andrex are doing a project with water aid at the moment where they donate £1 if you register that was in discussions and I thought it should be in freebies but because it hasn’t no end date like you the poster was told it’s has to be in discussions because it’s ongoing.

However it won’t be on forever and it seems a shame it won’t be the same exposure in discussions.
cecilmcroberts24/12/2019 23:26

Not everyone talks openly about mental health issues. It is still very …Not everyone talks openly about mental health issues. It is still very much a stigma about all that this can encompass. Personally I talk openly about it after a bereavement of my partner at a young age (4 years ago - I was 36 then her mother passed away 1 month later). I actually had my first I dunno what panic/anxiety kinda attack last weekend in Asda, it was hard to admit after it anyone and I'm used to public speaking,training etc. When my partner did pass away I did seek help in the bereavement and no matter what family and friends you have around you, just some things you feel you can't say or keep bottled inside yourself, guess the typical male lol. In other posting I've said Christmas can be hard, not the giving of presents the receipt or more the lack of receipt from who you wish was still there, its the stranger you wish to speak with not the family around you. After all this I can say the same, I'm here to talk with for anyone during this time or any other time. Or just cars, F1, Chess, or to be really boring batching picking principles within voice directed warehousing environments. Or giving up smoking after all the above! (had nothing related with the passing away of people abopve btw)


well said. There are a few of us in the same boat has you well know. I'm five years in and I'm not afraid to say the wheels fell off dramatically again a couple of months ago. It can happen at any time and for the stupidest of reasons. There are plenty who've been through it on here who are willing to listen or offer sympathy too.
Nana1425/12/2019 13:04

Reached for prescription ,take them for 3 months then come back and we …Reached for prescription ,take them for 3 months then come back and we will see how they working .Am taking anxiety attacks in shops dnt want to be out but dnt want to be at home .Living on my own dnt help but will try to pull my self together


Doctors are limited in what they can do. They can put you in touch with a counsellor and / or they can prescribe SSRIs. They can't fix you like a a broken arm, you have to fix yourself unfortunately.

There is some great advice above. I've had counselling and taken SSRIs (citalopram) for panic attacks so I know what you are going through. If you want to, keep posting in this thread and we can talk more. Take action, move forward and don't give in
Hacked27/12/2019 23:54

Doctors are limited in what they can do. They can put you in touch with a …Doctors are limited in what they can do. They can put you in touch with a counsellor and / or they can prescribe SSRIs. They can't fix you like a a broken arm, you have to fix yourself unfortunately.There is some great advice above. I've had counselling and taken SSRIs (citalopram) for panic attacks so I know what you are going through. If you want to, keep posting in this thread and we can talk more. Take action, move forward and don't give in


Exactly. The medication is a quick fix that in some cases will work because the patient feels they have been given something to help.

However they're not going to work instantly for everyone and finding the right combination is often what can take time.

The stigma surrounding mental health in the UK is a huge issue. I remember my mother telling me 'you don't wanna take pills, that'll go on your record and if an employer asks to see it they'll know. They won't wanna employ a person who's had to take pills' for many years this attitude and similar prevented me from seeking the help I needed to cope, simple as that to cope with everyday life.

I still have some really dark days and over the last couple of years some very hard times with redundancy playing a huge part in my mental wellness, I'm realistic I'll never be 'cured' but I now have the combination of tools I need to cope most days.
Brilliant post OP
Why is this not highlited?
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