*FREE* One Touch JML Can Opener

45 replies
Found 13th Sep 2016
surely mankind's greatest invention, press the button & it opens a tin of beans...like magic :-)

Just pay the postage (2 or 3 quid) & this fantastic gadget could be yours, needs 4x AA batteries.

Leave a comment if you'd like it & i'll pick a winner at random tomorrow night

45 Comments

DarkEnergy2012

it's the orange one


that exact one? what about your collection?

Shame it's not the blue one i would have been all over this.:(

That said, extortionate posting costs & the fact it needs "4x AA batteries." is a bit off putting.

Original Poster

could always hook it up to the mains or a lamp post
can't do anything about Royal Mails profiteering Brexit related inflation busting capitalist charges i'm afraid

OldEnglish

Shame it's not the blue one i would have been all over this.:(That said, … Shame it's not the blue one i would have been all over this.:(That said, extortionate posting costs & the fact it needs "4x AA batteries." is a bit off putting.

DarkEnergy2012

could always hook it up to the mains or a lamp post ;)can't do anything … could always hook it up to the mains or a lamp post ;)can't do anything about Royal Mails profiteering Brexit related inflation busting capitalist charges i'm afraid


What's the reason for giving it away?
Let me guess........................

















https://www.britishcornershop.co.uk/img/large/TJ0504.jpg X)

Original Poster

mmmmmm Fray Bentos
http://capricorncity.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/Homer-Simpson-Homer-Badman1.gif

i'm on a very strict diet of Pot Noodles now

just been looking for a tin opener on eBay, got really excited about this!
what a joy it is to find someone on hukd with a sense of humour

DarkEnergy2012

it's the orange one





You are sure that this is a can opener, right? oO



https://m.popkey.co/ba731b/LDqr_f-maxage-0_s-200x150.gif


unclejim27

what a joy it is to find someone on hukd with a sense of humour




Oh, brilliant news. Can you post a link to where you found them. X)

Original Poster

Saturn

You are sure that this is a can opener, right? oO



not really sure, could be a sex toy...my eyesight is not what it used to be

Darkie, you sir, are wonderful. I could absolutely most definitely make use of this for my nipper. Just bought a pie to give him for his dinner as he's started seniors and is a growing lad, but currently don't have any can opener to get into it - this would do the job perfectly, so if I could be considered I'd be most abundantly grateful, and would even send you the answers to next weeks quiz prior to publishing it (but keep that to yourself!).

Muchos gracias,

Mr M Blue


Actually, scrub that, even I don't want this tat.
Edited by: "miikeyblue" 13th Sep 2016

OldEnglish

Shame it's not the blue one i would have been all over this.:(That said, … Shame it's not the blue one i would have been all over this.:(That said, extortionate posting costs & the fact it needs "4x AA batteries." is a bit off putting.

DarkEnergy2012

mmmmmm Fray Bentosi'm on a very strict diet of Pot Noodles now






Cant you use this to open said Pot Noodles?

I would love your can opener, so much. But sadly I fear it would lead to my demise and my cat eating my face.

Let me explain.

When a cat hears a can opener, it assumes whatever is being opened it cat food. It's one of their basic instincts that's programmed into their very DNA.

That results in them pelting as fast as they can from where ever the currently are like this:

http://imgfave.s3.amazonaws.com/image_cache/1394541339603469.jpg

They run with such grate force and speed they can knock a grown cat lady clean off her feet.

While I would normally enjoy being swept of my feet by a feline immensely, I would this time be opening a tin. If your tin opener is as speedy and efficient as I believe it is and dream it to be, by the time the cat arrived the lid would already be cleanly taken off the tin.

When the cat knocks me over, I would most likely scrape myself with the beautifully clean and razor-sharp edge that the fabled JML one touch opener has left behind.

My cat would soon work out I was opening a tin of ravioli not cat food and to make up for his hunger, would let me bleed to death on my kitchen floor, while eating my face for sustenance. This would probably just tide him over long enough until someone worked out I was missing, because I hadn't paid a bill or something.

So while you have made my day with the idea that I might indeed one day be lucky enough to own a JML one touch can opener. It is with great regret and a heavy heart I will have to decline.

I hope one catless person will receive it and cherish it. For it is simply the best can opener than one could ever dream of owning. You are a truly generous soul.

I will just have to keep opening cans like this:

youtube.com/wat…x-Y

Thanks again, MSK.

In that case, just donate to your local children's hospital of choice.

Where is Transit these days?

moneysavingkitten

In that case, just donate to your local children's hospital of … In that case, just donate to your local children's hospital of choice.Where is Transit these days?



I was pondering the very same question earlier today!

http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/give_it_to_me.gif

https://media.giphy.com/media/vO8F4fYQd39h6/giphy-facebook_s.jpg

http://66.media.tumblr.com/e3626b1c36c8661a4df1ff4722e4d768/tumblr_o3xdf7hmpz1sib2dzo1_500.gif

http://media2.giphy.com/media/wWAIKcFASEFz2/giphy_s.gif

DarkEnergy2012

not really sure, could be a sex toy...my eyesight is not what it used to … not really sure, could be a sex toy...my eyesight is not what it used to be




Could I suggest the tried and trusted quick sniff test then?


https://media.giphy.com/media/12pxmojmEOifde/giphy.gif


No disrespect to Mrs Energy of course.

Original Poster

oO well it was in my Nan's bedside drawer...OldEnglish will be interested in it now X)

Saturn

Could I suggest the tried and trusted quick sniff test then? No … Could I suggest the tried and trusted quick sniff test then? No disrespect to Mrs Energy of course. <3


DarkEnergy2012

oO well it was in my Nan's bedside drawer...OldEnglish will be interested … oO well it was in my Nan's bedside drawer...OldEnglish will be interested in it now X)



Sounds more my bag than the tin opener thingy.
The postings killed it for me still, i could post a 3x2 council slab for less than your Nans sex toy. oO
Edited by: "OldEnglish" 13th Sep 2016

God i so need this
http://i.imgur.com/vTt6JcZ.gif

Can I have it pls

shyki12345

Can I have it pls



Ooh, remembered your manners this time I see

miikeyblue

Ooh, remembered your manners this time I see



Just forgot the vowels. X) But this is progress, I will be tuning in next week.

Please don't let this be me.....lol

http://i1296.photobucket.com/albums/ag6/JDavies10/tumbler_zpsesvf3ion.gif

http://i1296.photobucket.com/albums/ag6/JDavies10/tumbler%202_zpsqgkijpv5.gif

http://i1296.photobucket.com/albums/ag6/JDavies10/tumbler%203_zpswlvwbrhd.gif

http://i1296.photobucket.com/albums/ag6/JDavies10/tumbler%204_zpsc9a1hydf.gif

or should we all attempt this in case of an apocalypse:-

http://i1296.photobucket.com/albums/ag6/JDavies10/th_Opening%20a%20can_zpsuug6azqg.mp4

go on.. I'm in.

http://emoticonists.com/1024/clip-art-of-a-moodie-emoticon-character-tossing-a-hat-into-a-ring-by-johnny-sajem-1288.jpg

https://media.giphy.com/media/l46CnPlsjeElZlZao/giphy.gif

Count me in please. I'm a befriender to 2 elderly ladies and both have arthritis in their hands. I'm sure one of them would make great use of this.

^^ When do we start doing the 'xfactor style' emotional blackmail stories?
Edited by: "Kammykay" 14th Sep 2016

giz

>>> Random Winner Here <<

I don't want it but if you pick me I'd like you to donate it to an orphanage or an animal sanctuary.
Edited by: "Mark2111" 14th Sep 2016

Which lucky person won?

Kammykay

Which lucky person won?




I think we have all been scammed. Please check your bank accounts in the morning. This guy has learnt from the best.


http://i.imgur.com/71cNB1M.jpg

I am put off by the 4 x AA batteries and having to give you my address

Original Poster

i was too drunk yesterday after a long session quality testing of sunny beer gardens

lots of interest in this obviously as it's cutting edge technology but...
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-M5q13HXqeaI/UdUg0UOmsgI/AAAAAAAABY4/nFRpk68iUL4/s300/winner-300x168.gif

Fern

http://seniorplanet.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/meryl_gif_oscars.gif.-.gif

yay go Fern. Thanks DarkEnergy for sharing. After reading the replies, I would have felt too guilty to
use it. But I will order order one as very useful.
Edited by: "shabbird" 15th Sep 2016

What a generous guy you are. Congrats Fern, may your tins be forever easily opened.

shabbird

yay go Fern. Thanks DarkEnergy for sharing. After reading the replies, I … yay go Fern. Thanks DarkEnergy for sharing. After reading the replies, I would have felt too guilty to use it. But I will order order one as very useful.




No need to feel any guilt using this, Shab. D.E. has confirmed that his Nan only used it to open her tins of ravioli when she got hungry at midnight.
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