Funny/ sarcastic things to write in birthday/ leaving cards

23
Found 19th May 2016
I learnt a couple of these from a friend which I use, but I could do with some more so I don't seem repetitive.
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'Out of all the people I know, you are definitely one of them'
'I don't care what anyone else say, I like you'
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
"There is little more repetitive than a birthday"
In a Leaving Card = Happy Birthday.
In a Birthday Card (at an office/factory) = Sorry you are Leaving.
This one gave me the giggles..

My birth certificate was a letter of apology that my dad got from the condom company…
backtothecaves

I learnt a couple of these from a friend which I use, but I could do with … I learnt a couple of these from a friend which I use, but I could do with some more so I don't seem repetitive.



Happy Easter.

Works for all occasions. Apart from Easter, obviously.
'Before you go can you let me know where you hide the bodies? You've survived here so long you must have bumped the most annoying people off by now.'
'It's your birthday, lets celebrate the day you made your mum scream and that you started pooping'
'Yet another year under your belt, did you realise years are also measurable in inches!'
On your special day, remember that you bring joy and happiness to many people around you.

I'm not one of them. I think you're a....


This was in the paper last week...
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2016/05/10/23/3405A39200000578-3583878-image-a-105_1462921024996.jpg
oh and another one.....

http://0.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/dev/13/35/3b969f9d2fca56d39f8a6077a7e2285b.jpg
arcangel111

This was in the paper last week...


If you look carefully, someone has written 'Our condolences on your lust' too.
think it says lost (meant loss)
Oneday77

''Yet another year under your belt, did you realise years are also … ''Yet another year under your belt, did you realise years are also measurable in inches!'



but that means i'm only 10?
For a leaving card, if it's someone who I think will get the reference, I paraphrase Rimmer's leaving speech from the Red Dwarf episode 'Holoship':

"Look, I'm not much good at writing big leaving messages, and I know I haven't always been an easy guy to get on with. And I know that, given the choice, I probably wouldn't have chosen you as a friend. But I just want to say that, over the years, I have come to regard you as someone...

...I met."

Best part is imagining the rest of the office reading it and wondering what kind of message that is to write.

When my boss retired most people put good luck, I put good riddance.
arcangel111

This was in the paper last week...


That's awful. Shortening it to B day is so tacky.
backtothecaves

If you look carefully, someone has written 'Our condolences on your lust' … If you look carefully, someone has written 'Our condolences on your lust' too.


....Elton oO
Another one for a leaving card:

"You will be remembered"

Particularly brutal.
Put a teabag in the birthday card and say " Have a drink on me " X)
my brother in-law, for Valentine's day got my sister a card that said simply, "you'll do", i still laugh at it, haha

Put a teabag in the birthday card and say " Have a drink on me " X)



I thought about buying you something special.
It's the thought that counts.

I thought about buying you something special.It's the thought that counts.


X)
You are lucky because you have me , but I only have you!
Happy Birthday should suffice. However if you would like to exchange it please scan this QR Code and pick your own.

http://s32.postimg.org/75oc7td85/happy_birthday_hukd.png
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