Groups

    Girl help...

    Well, I've got myself into a big hole, and I blame the beer. Was out on friday night and met a girl, she's 18 and I'm 19, saturday morning I woke up to 5 text messages and 3 missed calls, she has a 10 month old kid and literally texts me 20-40 seconds after I reply. She wants to meet tonight and I really don't know, I'm way too young to be seen as a Dad....any help/advice is welcome?

    49 Comments

    change your mobile number - easy as that :thumbsup:

    Ok, I miss read the "I've got myself into a big hole", leaving thread in 3...2....1...

    Original Poster

    darren9030;4520787

    change your mobile number - easy as that :thumbsup:



    I have considered, but my number is everywhere, job applications, friends, long distance family. She also lives quite close to me, I just thank god she dosen't know my address!

    Let her down gently & quickly, don't want a bunny boiler on your hands....

    Original Poster

    dean3988;4520800

    Ok, I miss read the "I've got myself into a big hole", leaving thread in … Ok, I miss read the "I've got myself into a big hole", leaving thread in 3...2....1...



    :roll:
    Not that kind of hole :whistling:

    Just get her told! Sometimes you need to be cruel to be kind!

    Have Some Fun !!!

    Just use the ole im unwell excuse.

    Original Poster

    cycleman;4520809

    Let her down gently & quickly, don't want a bunny boilir on your hands....



    Yeah, shes just text asking ''what were doing tonight''

    Umm, I keep thinking ''well it might work out'' but, its the kid that hinders everything, shes stopped the father from seeing the little one so I'm like...father figure and I'm just too young for that.

    Original Poster

    sadiebabes;4520815

    Just get her told! Sometimes you need to be cruel to be kind!



    shosie;4520826

    Just use the ole im unwell excuse.


    She seems like she hasn't got a backbone though, if I said I'd just fell off magic carpet and broke my leg she'd believe me and say it was okay.

    ffs you only met her Friday, tell her you have Std or your bisexual should do the trick.

    If you aren't interested you'll have to tell her so in a TACTFUL, honest and kind way. She has a child so she may possibly be ready for a romantic attachment that you don't seem ready to give. That's exactly what I would say. At this point in your life you aren't looking for a serious relationship, if you were she'd be top choice, but you definitely aren't, you just wanna mess around, see as many people as you wanna see and see how life pans out for you.

    Also, please note. It's a way better idea to do this face to face and in a place where she feels comfortable so if she feels upset she has something to get comfort from. It's isn't acceptable to dump someone by text/email/phone call. Kindness comes from taking the time to show you are concerned for her feelings and do not want to hurt her but cant provide her emotionally with what she needs at present.

    Hope this helps.

    scousekop;4520844

    ffs you only met her Friday, tell her you have Std or your bisexual … ffs you only met her Friday, tell her you have Std or your bisexual should do the trick.



    :lol: :lol:

    Original Poster

    scousekop;4520844

    ffs you only met her Friday, tell her you have Std or your bisexual … ffs you only met her Friday, tell her you have Std or your bisexual should do the trick.



    LOL - Yeah thats gonna do my rep very good....I've seen her around town quite alot so telling her I have a STD ain't gonna bag me any beautys lol. Bisexual wouldn't work either.

    Spoke to Zammo..........he say's 'Just say No'

    http://www.grangehillfans.co.uk/history/images/justsayno.jpg

    Original Poster

    scousekop;4520844

    ffs you only met her Friday, tell her you have Std or your bisexual … ffs you only met her Friday, tell her you have Std or your bisexual should do the trick.



    ClarityofMind;4520846

    If you aren't interested you'll have to tell her so in a TACTFUL, honest … If you aren't interested you'll have to tell her so in a TACTFUL, honest and kind way. She has a child so she may possibly be ready for a romantic attachment that you don't seem ready to give. That's exactly what I would say. At this point in your life you aren't looking for a serious relationship, if you were she'd be top choice, but you definitely aren't, you just wanna mess around, see as many people as you wanna see and see how life pans out for you. Also, please note. It's a way better idea to do this face to face and in a place where she feels comfortable so if she feels upset she has something to get comfort from. It's isn't acceptable to dump someone by text/email/phone call. Kindness comes from taking the time to show you are concerned for her feelings and do not want to hurt her but cant provide her emotionally with what she needs at present. Hope this helps.



    We aren't together, so I wouldn't be dumping her. Although I agree with your top paragraph, I am just way too young to settle down and too young to take on the responsibilities of a father figure.


    She's just text back saying:
    I'm younger than you. I feel like someone likes me then when they find out i have a son they walk away.''

    Original Poster

    Syzable;4520873

    Spoke to Zammo..........he say's 'Just say No'



    I never saw Grange Hill - too cheesy for me. I really do think Zammo is right though :thumbsup:

    Meadsy4742;4520883

    I never saw Grange Hill - too cheesy for me. I really do think Zammo is … I never saw Grange Hill - too cheesy for me. I really do think Zammo is right though :thumbsup:



    I haven't watched it since 1980 something..........was cool back then. (insert missing smiley here):p

    Original Poster

    Syzable;4520892

    I haven't watched it since 1980 something..........was cool back then. … I haven't watched it since 1980 something..........was cool back then. (insert missing smiley here):p



    I wasn't around then :whistling:

    Although it was on for a few years, just really annoying theme tune lol

    Why don't you just give it a go, have a bit of fun and get to know the lass...you never know, underneath everything it may just be whats meant for you. x

    Banned

    dude just see what its like you dont have to marry her....

    just dont go back to her place...

    You only met her on friday and you're worried about being a father figure?

    Original Poster

    Lulu'sMammy;4520916

    Why don't you just give it a go, have a bit of fun and get to know the … Why don't you just give it a go, have a bit of fun and get to know the lass...you never know, underneath everything it may just be whats meant for you. x


    I would have a bit of fun, but shes insecure, she wants someone to be there for her and I basically want some fun, plus its not fair on the kid, seeing men come and go. Maybe I'm not mature enough to raise someone elses child.


    imranmaz;4520933

    dude just see what its like you dont have to marry her....just dont go … dude just see what its like you dont have to marry her....just dont go back to her place...



    19 is too young (IMO) to be involved with a kid, especially when its not even mine :?

    xSpoiltPrincessx;4520954

    You only met her on friday and you're worried about being a father figure?



    Yeah because thats what shes looking for, a long term, serious relationship - I wouldn't be able to ignore the kid, and as he's only 10 month old and I'm always around, hes gonna see me as a father figure....surely.

    You should meet her tonight and bone her if she's that keen on you it will be easy. Then when she calls next day just text that don't think it will work out. hey presto an easy **** for you!!;-)

    Meadsy4742;4521013

    I would have a bit of fun, but shes insecure, she wants someone to be … I would have a bit of fun, but shes insecure, she wants someone to be there for her and I basically want some fun, plus its not fair on the kid, seeing men come and go. Maybe I'm not mature enough to raise someone elses child.19 is too young (IMO) to be involved with a kid, especially when its not even mine :?Yeah because thats what shes looking for, a long term, serious relationship - I wouldn't be able to ignore the kid, and as he's only 10 month old and I'm always around, hes gonna see me as a father figure....surely.



    after only friday she shouldnt be having you around her kid yet any way she should be giving it a least a few months of you and her to see if its going to work before even bringing you and her child together!

    just be honest say its not about her having a child just say its too much too soon and your blantantly not ready for a relationship!

    Ha I was in a similar situation - girl with a kid who I met on a night out, seemed nice enough until she got my number, then it was just text text text and plenty of calls. Not replying to texts didn't do the trick - she then resent the same one again thinking I didn't receive it! One of my friends who happened to know her thought it would be funny to give her my home address & she turned up at 3am wanting a chat! Just be honest and end things before it gets out of hand

    You have your hands full with a parrot anyway, no time to be looking after someone else's sprog :thumbsup:

    Original Poster

    adamsxi;4521139

    You should meet her tonight and bone her if she's that keen on you it … You should meet her tonight and bone her if she's that keen on you it will be easy. Then when she calls next day just text that don't think it will work out. hey presto an easy **** for you!!;-)



    Thats evil though lol

    dee.s.g;4521147

    after only friday she shouldnt be having you around her kid yet any way … after only friday she shouldnt be having you around her kid yet any way she should be giving it a least a few months of you and her to see if its going to work before even bringing you and her child together!just be honest say its not about her having a child just say its too much too soon and your blantantly not ready for a relationship!



    Yeah, thats what I've told her but she dosen't seem to understand how much pressure I'd be under.

    AberBargoed;4521186

    Ha I was in a similar situation - girl with a kid who I met on a night … Ha I was in a similar situation - girl with a kid who I met on a night out, seemed nice enough until she got my number, then it was just text text text and plenty of calls. Not replying to texts didn't do the trick - she then resent the same one again thinking I didn't receive it! One of my friends who happened to know her thought it would be funny to give her my home address & she turned up at 3am wanting a chat! Just be honest and end things before it gets out of hand :)You have your hands full with a parrot anyway, no time to be looking after someone else's sprog :thumbsup:



    Yeah, thats why I'm glad she dosen't know my address. I'll just say I'd prefer to be friends than jump into the deep waters lol.

    The parrot is a handful so maybe getting myself involved with another baby is silly lol.

    This is one of the things that should be mentioned at school during sex education,not only is having a child hard work on your own it also scares away many men ,Some girls think they can have a child and then decide later who they want to be the dad but it doesnt work like that,I know a few girls who spent much of there twenties going from one lad to another looking for mr right but most were happy to have a bit of fun but when it came to someone elses son,no thanks,

    Banned

    I think you know the answer, so just get it done

    tinkerbell28;4521268

    First lets get out of the "all single mums are desperate" mentality. .



    no ones saying they all are.....i think this one is though...if your not man enough to tell her straight (even by text lol) then just ignore calls and texts or get number barred :thumbsup:

    Meadsy4742;4521013

    Yeah because thats what shes looking for, a long term, serious … Yeah because thats what shes looking for, a long term, serious relationship - I wouldn't be able to ignore the kid, and as he's only 10 month old and I'm always around, hes gonna see me as a father figure....surely.



    Just tell her that? I'm sure she'll appreciate your honesty.

    tinkerbell28;4521268

    First lets get out of the "all single mums are desperate" mentality. … First lets get out of the "all single mums are desperate" mentality. Having a child won't make her more or less clingy what will is her past experiences or her personality in general.To be honest if I were here I would be a little freaked out that you were thinking so far in to the future after meeting me 2 days ago!If you were to get into this relationship, then yes of course that child will see you as a father figure, if you are aound thier house all the time in a relationship with this mummy, of course that is what he will grow up thinking.If this is not what you want, say so NOW! For the childs sake!If you want to see how things go, then why not say so, she should not be introducing you to the baby until, you become established in a relationship, if that were to happen.You could "see" each other, have fun and you never know, it may just be that you fall head over heels and the rest falls in place. Or you decide to go your own ways, you never know, just don't get involved with the child yet, if you and the mother click then consider it.Imo reading between the lines and what you have said already, just the way you talk about this boy already, it appears a major issue for you, so make a decision and be honest with her.



    :thumbsup:

    Meadsy4742;4520878

    We aren't together, so I wouldn't be dumping her. Although I agree with … We aren't together, so I wouldn't be dumping her. Although I agree with your top paragraph, I am just way too young to settle down and too young to take on the responsibilities of a father figure. She's just text back saying:I'm younger than you. I feel like someone likes me then when they find out i have a son they walk away.''



    it isn't possible to fully communicate with someone by text anyway. trying to describe to her that you don't wanna see her.. by text.. isnt going to be a pleasant process.

    lol ..OP your secretly loving this attention youre getting off her or you could of sorted it in 5 seconds....quick tecxt...quick call or ignore all contact...sorted

    jut text...........You seem a lot more serious about this than me, i just want casual fun best call it a day now to save feelings was nice to meet you and have a nice life.
    straight to the point

    You do realise though that in deciding you don't wanna be a step-dad just yet you're making a mature decision. You could of course see her but have no contact with her child. If thats what you want and she agrees to it of course. Many people have sexual relationships that are distinct from being a family and a single parent. Takes all sorts to make a world

    Tbh i think you should go on this date with her, you obviously did slightly like her or you wouldnt of given her your number. She may just want to get out of the house and have some adult convo and get her ego stroked a little. I am a young mum and i know if i was single i would grasp every opportunity i could to let my hair down. Also i am pretty sure she wouldnt expect you to be a daddy figure unless you did get n to a deep ,meaningful relationship.

    I think you should go , have a couple of drinks and a laugh. Tell her that you want to be mates, maybe thats all she wants......

    "6 simple words, im not gay but i'll try"-

    homer simpson

    just tell her that your seeing someone

    Original Poster

    Cheers for the advice everyone, I've decided to just say what I felt, I said I was only 19 and wanted fun, but I got the text from her saying ''I can't have fun no more'' - but, thats what being a young mum entails. If I was ever a father at this age then I'd settle down straight away, but I'm not prepared to be dragged into a serious relationship just because she wants to settle down.

    Awww well at least you both know now hey. I cant help but feel a little bit sorry for her as it must be hard being a young single mum. You done the right thing for you. Hope you find your bit of fun:thumbsup:
    Post a comment
    Avatar
    @
      Text
      Top Discussions
      1. The HUKD Student Discount code sharing thread (most codes on Unidays are si…7271383
      2. Help Feed a Homeless Animal for Free1608651
      3. I want to talk about the WEATHER no politics no religion19047187
      4. I have 2 spare netflix slots and a spotify share.918

      See more discussions