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# Grandma knows best ??

A young girl was going on a date. Her grandmother said: Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys. He is going to try and kiss you, you are going to like that, but dont let him do that.

He is going to try and feel your breast, you are going to like that but dont let him do that. But most important, he is going to try and get on top of you to have his way with you. You are going to like that, but dont let him do that. It will disgrace the family.

With that bit of advice, the granddaughter went on her date. The next day she told grandma that her date went just like she had predicted: Grandma, I didnt let him disgrace the family. When he tried, I just turned over, got on top of him, and disgraced His family

Granny fainted.

Nice one lol

Original Poster

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life? Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S...
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it’s the Bulls... and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

Original Poster

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:
“The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students.
Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined £20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined £60. Being caught a third time will cost you £180. Are there any questions?”
Then one of the student asked, “How much for a season pass?”

I like that- disgrace his family...made me smile

thanks for the chuckles.. have some rep!