Harassment police

55
Posted 8th Jun
So I fell out with a very good friend of mine over some money that was owed and the police got involved. I was warned not to make contact again and that any action should be through small claims court.

Having thought about it all, I'm happy to ignore the debt but I do want to reconcile with her.

How would I do this without getting in trouble with the police? Could I ask a mutual friend to speak to them on my behalf?
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deleted88965
You want to reconcile with someone who stole money from you and then called the police? Why?
MakeItHotinHere08/06/2020 02:52

The ohtwr party contacted police not me.


Did you post a discussion about this several months ago?
I don’t know why you’d want anyone like that in your life. Surely, especially now, you should let go and move on, not wasting any more energy on this person.
Just remember if you ‘reconcile’ then they can report you at any point for any little thing as you’ve already had a warning.
Doesn’t really seem worth it for someone who has no morals and has stolen from you.
55 Comments
You first mistake was to talk to the police , you second mistake was to listen to there advice as long as you not braking the law you can contact anyone you like.

Your third mistake is 'to reconcile with her' try to get your money and run do not look back.
milkshake2208/06/2020 02:50

You first mistake was to talk to the police , you second mistake was to …You first mistake was to talk to the police , you second mistake was to listen to there advice as long as you not braking the law you can contact anyone you like.Your third mistake is 'to reconcile with her' try to get your money and run do not look back.


The ohtwr party contacted police not me.
MakeItHotinHere08/06/2020 02:52

The ohtwr party contacted police not me.


Did you post a discussion about this several months ago?
milkshake2208/06/2020 02:50

You first mistake was to talk to the police , you second mistake was to …You first mistake was to talk to the police , you second mistake was to listen to there advice as long as you not braking the law you can contact anyone you like.


No you can't contact anyone you like whenever you like.

It is called harassment. The police will in the first instance issue you with a Police Information Notice saying that the receiver of your calls, letters etc regard it as harassment & if you then carry on they will investigate & prosecute if there is enough evidence.
Willy_Wonka08/06/2020 03:02

No you can't contact anyone you like whenever you like. It is called …No you can't contact anyone you like whenever you like. It is called harassment. The police will in the first instance issue you with a Police Information Notice saying that the receiver of your calls, letters etc regard it as harassment & if you then carry on they will investigate & prosecute if there is enough evidence.


Op did not give details is not harassment if you asking for money owed to you in a civil matter if there was a agreement for repayment.
Would writing a letter be allowed? As in a personal letter, not a demand for payment.
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deleted88965
You want to reconcile with someone who stole money from you and then called the police? Why?
I don’t know why you’d want anyone like that in your life. Surely, especially now, you should let go and move on, not wasting any more energy on this person.
Just remember if you ‘reconcile’ then they can report you at any point for any little thing as you’ve already had a warning.
Doesn’t really seem worth it for someone who has no morals and has stolen from you.
Go to small claims court, don’t let them get away with it. They will move on and do it again...
how much money are you talking? How long was the friendship? Do they live close enough you pass them most days?

Dont contact them but name name and shame them on social media, that might guilt them into paying but doubt it..
Bargainhead08/06/2020 05:46

Dont contact them but name name and shame them on social media, that might …Dont contact them but name name and shame them on social media, that might guilt them into paying but doubt it..



I hope you are not advising someone to commit a potential libellous act.
If this is a large amount and you need the money, go through Small Claims Court, but it can be stressful.
I can understand your desire for reconciliation. Try not to force it. Of course, you can let it be known to somebody else that you would like this - but after that it must all come natural. If you ask somebody else to act as a go-between that will be seen by others as a form of harassment. Should your old friend attempt any reconciliation make sure you get witnesses to any sort of approach.
The previous discussion you were fairly adamant that you were preceding with the small claims court if she didn't repay you, all the letters had been sent out. Why the sudden change of mind?
tardytortoise08/06/2020 07:09

I hope you are not advising someone to commit a potential libellous act.


Don’t know what you mean. Plus not libellous if it’s true...
Bargainhead08/06/2020 09:01

Don’t know what you mean. Plus not libellous if it’s true...



if - such a big word I wonder who decides if it is true? A court perhaps? It really is not worth risking naming and shaming someone publicly.
tardytortoise08/06/2020 07:17

If this is a large amount and you need the money, go through Small Claims …If this is a large amount and you need the money, go through Small Claims Court, but it can be stressful.I can understand your desire for reconciliation. Try not to force it. Of course, you can let it be known to somebody else that you would like this - but after that it must all come natural. If you ask somebody else to act as a go-between that will be seen by others as a form of harassment. Should your old friend attempt any reconciliation make sure you get witnesses to any sort of approach.


Problem is doing that withour breaching what police have said
How much is the debt out of curiosity - depending on the amount depends on the steps I would take
nrackham7608/06/2020 11:45

How much is the debt out of curiosity - depending on the amount depends on …How much is the debt out of curiosity - depending on the amount depends on the steps I would take



£400
After reading this I'm now doubting there wasn't any harassment from OP in the first thread about this...
Well it's let it lie or pay the money go to small claims court for £400!
deleted8896508/06/2020 05:05

You want to reconcile with someone who stole money from you and then …You want to reconcile with someone who stole money from you and then called the police? Why?


I think it's fairly obvious why.
Going on the threads you have created and all the hassle of the police etc for the sake of £400 it’s probably best to let it go and move on.
MakeItHotinHere08/06/2020 09:42

Problem is doing that withour breaching what police have said How would I …Problem is doing that withour breaching what police have said How would I do this without getting in trouble with the police? Could I ask a mutual friend to speak to them on my behalf?



I am now confused. You seem to be answering your own 2 initial questions?
xenophon08/06/2020 02:56

Did you post a discussion about this several months ago?


Yeah I remember exactly the same situation.
MakeItHotinHere08/06/2020 12:26

Well it's let it lie or pay the money go to small claims court for £400!



But in your OP is says
"Having thought about it all, I'm happy to ignore the debt but I do want to reconcile with her"
fearona08/06/2020 14:45

But in your OP is says"Having thought about it all, I'm happy to ignore …But in your OP is says"Having thought about it all, I'm happy to ignore the debt but I do want to reconcile with her"


I'm obviously undecided
MakeItHotinHere08/06/2020 12:26

Well it's let it lie or pay the money go to small claims court for £400!


Sorry if I'm a being a little direct here, but from your previous discussion and now this one, it seems to be about something more. Lost love? Wanting to keep the door open? But it hasn't quite worked, so now a different tact.

I've been there, sure many have. Not quite like this though.
Sorry but this just sounds like a drip feed with loads of stuff unsaid, so very hard for anyone to advise. Why not just lay the whole story out, because at the moment it really makes no sense.
£400 to find out a friend isn't a friend seems a small price to pay. However, sorry you had to experience this.
Reconcile is probably the operative word here. I get that when you have emotions invested in someone, you want to believe in them, that things can be healed and you can get back to the good times you had in earlier days.

I said this in the other thread, how many women (and men!) spend their entire lives hoping someone will change?

But one difficult life lesson is seeing people as they ARE, not WHAT WE WANT THEM TO BE. So many people have problems grasping this but it's important. Because it keeps you safe, it helps you learn to lay boundaries in your relationships and it saves you from further hurt and heartache.

Always listen to your intuition about people. Forgiveness is a gift but you have to be very careful why and who you extend it to.

Iirc, this woman has previous with fraud or some sort of financial crime and I would see that as a definite red flag. Some people in life are just plain grifters.

Wishing you luck and love.
louiselouise08/06/2020 15:33

Reconcile is probably the operative word here. I get that when you have …Reconcile is probably the operative word here. I get that when you have emotions invested in someone, you want to believe in them, that things can be healed and you can get back to the good times you had in earlier days.I said this in the other thread, how many women (and men!) spend their entire lives hoping someone will change?But one difficult life lesson is seeing people as they ARE, not WHAT WE WANT THEM TO BE. So many people have problems grasping this but it's important. Because it keeps you safe, it helps you learn to lay boundaries in your relationships and it saves you from further hurt and heartache.Always listen to your intuition about people. Forgiveness is a gift but you have to be very careful why and who you extend it to.Iirc, this woman has previous with fraud or some sort of financial crime and I would see that as a definite red flag. Some people in life are just plain grifters.Wishing you luck and love.


Good advice.
I would say don’t bother even to try and reconcile. If they thought anything of your friendship in the first place they would’ve tried to make any repayment to you however small and secondly they must know they’ve done wrong, so let them reach out to you.
I would also say there are often 2 sides to a story, and we are only hearing one.
I'm not making light of anyone's plight. But this song comes to mind. Helped me understand in the day and still does. Just heard after years and sent the goose pimples and hairs up on my arms. If I'm out of order, sorry get it deleted. But it rings true.

xenophon08/06/2020 16:57

I'm not making light of anyone's plight. But this song comes to mind. …I'm not making light of anyone's plight. But this song comes to mind. Helped me understand in the day and still does. Just heard after years and sent the goose pimples and hairs up on my arms. If I'm out of order, sorry get it deleted. But it rings true.[Video]


Off-topic a bit but I loved New Gold Dream, stilll sounds excellent today (I'm more into their New Wave-y stuff).
Bargainhead08/06/2020 05:46

Go to small claims court, don’t let them get away with it. They will move o …Go to small claims court, don’t let them get away with it. They will move on and do it again...how much money are you talking? How long was the friendship? Do they live close enough you pass them most days? Dont contact them but name name and shame them on social media, that might guilt them into paying but doubt it..


Good idea don't know if naming and shaming will get me anywhere?!
louiselouise08/06/2020 15:33

Reconcile is probably the operative word here. I get that when you have …Reconcile is probably the operative word here. I get that when you have emotions invested in someone, you want to believe in them, that things can be healed and you can get back to the good times you had in earlier days.I said this in the other thread, how many women (and men!) spend their entire lives hoping someone will change?But one difficult life lesson is seeing people as they ARE, not WHAT WE WANT THEM TO BE. So many people have problems grasping this but it's important. Because it keeps you safe, it helps you learn to lay boundaries in your relationships and it saves you from further hurt and heartache.Always listen to your intuition about people. Forgiveness is a gift but you have to be very careful why and who you extend it to.Iirc, this woman has previous with fraud or some sort of financial crime and I would see that as a definite red flag. Some people in life are just plain grifters.Wishing you luck and love.


Love your reply.

What would you do? Let it lie or pursue small claims.

I have already sent a letter of Intended Prosecution and know she got the letter as she sent it to police.
MakeItHotinHere08/06/2020 19:19

Good idea don't know if naming and shaming will get me anywhere?!


It might stop others loaning money to them. They might not like being named and pay you back..
Bargainhead08/06/2020 19:36

It might stop others loaning money to them. They might not like being …It might stop others loaning money to them. They might not like being named and pay you back..


Well I kinda already did that by contacting her close friends and letting them know she owed me money hit wasn't giving it back

This is why she got police involved due to the embarsement of her friends and family knowing.

She's also training to be an occ health advisor so a court judgement may not be ideal.

I basically just want my money back.
MakeItHotinHere08/06/2020 19:39

Well I kinda already did that by contacting her close friends and letting …Well I kinda already did that by contacting her close friends and letting them know she owed me money hit wasn't giving it backThis is why she got police involved due to the embarsement of her friends and family knowing.She's also training to be an occ health advisor so a court judgement may not be ideal.I basically just want my money back.


It’s civil court not criminal court...
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