have i done wrong?

me and my bf both work in a care home for disabled adults. one of our residents likes to call people 'taty head' and when me and my bf saw some mr potato head pyjamas and boxers we couldnt resist getting them for him. we asked the senior if he had enough money and she said yes and that he even had more tucked away in the managers safe. so we went and got them for him. the boxers were £12 and the pyjamas £25. when we took them in the senior started going on that if we dared spend that amount on boxers and jamas again then we wouldnt get the money. another carer started saying we had spent too much too.
now this resident has more than enough money and in my opinion they werent overly expensive, so why not let him have them. i cant see what harm it will have done. i know they are going to start on about it again tomorrow. im fuming that the senior said that when she was the one who said he had enough money. normally they buy stuff from primark for them and its ruined after a couple washes. at least these might last a bit longer

89 Comments

Banned

If he likes them and he can afford them and they last longer than the cheap junk them why not i dont see a problem,you were kind enough to go out of your way for him.

Tbh i find it disturbing that care staff can spend a residents money without asking the resident first.

transit

Tbh i find it disturbing that care staff can spend a residents money … Tbh i find it disturbing that care staff can spend a residents money without asking the resident first.



Kinda ^^^^^ this................if it was a gift then yeah spend away, but I would have thought you had to have explicit permission from the person who's money it was to spend it..................

Original Poster

transit

Tbh i find it disturbing that care staff can spend a residents money … Tbh i find it disturbing that care staff can spend a residents money without asking the resident first.



he doesnt understand money and its worth

transit

Tbh i find it disturbing that care staff can spend a residents money … Tbh i find it disturbing that care staff can spend a residents money without asking the resident first.



yeah 100% agree with this and to be fair £37 on pyjamas and boxers seems expensive to me

donna-lou

he doesnt understand money and its worth



Yeah but its still HIS money, my kids dont understand money, but their childminder doesn't raid their account to buy play clothes for them.

This just doesn't sit right with me, maybe its just me though, but I am pretty sure it wont be just me. Not blaming you, you were given the money by a senior member of staff, but ummmmmm yeah..................

I must say that am forever getting told off for doing what I consider kind/generous gestures. I don't think that anyone can criticise your good intensions but I wonder why there are no house rules to prevent you doing things like this and risk getting warnings.

How about he doesn't wear them until you have consulted any relatives?

donna-lou

he doesnt understand money and its worth



He's not alone

donna-lou

he doesnt understand money and its worth



That's even worse then!

is it his actual money or does he get a certain amount of money per month for clothing?

i think they are quite expensive but at the end of the day why not let him have nice things, i work in a care home and one old lady who was there for years and only came in with a handful of clothes, her family never bought her anything new in all the years she was there, she ended up having other residents clothes that had passed away, if they have money they might aswel spend it and have treats now and again. some familys forget about their mum/dad granny etc when they go in a home, its amazing how many of them dont even get a visitor and when they do there only there10mins.

Pitbikeboy

is it his actual money or does he get a certain amount of money per month … is it his actual money or does he get a certain amount of money per month for clothing?



Surely then it would still be his actual money, up to him how it is or isn't spent, like benefits. An addict doesnt have someone buying them trainers with their benefits rather than them spending it on fags/booze/gambling etc etc. Not that I am suggesting its only addicts that get benefits, or indeed that any type of addict doesn't work, before I get shot down for generalising


Edited by: "Skyebee" 4th Mar 2011

nikkib123

That's even worse then!



I would imagine its his relatives that leave the money to pay for any 'luxuries' when they are not there.

If he is mentally ill it is left to the carers to decide the fate of the money.
Edited by: "greg_68" 4th Mar 2011

donna-lou

he doesnt understand money and its worth



Ok it's obviously not your wrong doing as such, but i'd seriously question the ethics of the care home management if i was related to any of those residents.

donna-lou

he doesnt understand money and its worth


Im sorry op but if this chap doesnt understand money and its worth then i honestly dont think you should be spending £37 of his money. I know i wouldnt be happy if this had happened when my nan was in a care home

Original Poster

pink-ka

i think they are quite expensive but at the end of the day why not let … i think they are quite expensive but at the end of the day why not let him have nice things, i work in a care home and one old lady who was there for years and only came in with a handful of clothes, her family never bought her anything new in all the years she was there, she ended up having other residents clothes that had passed away, if they have money they might aswel spend it and have treats now and again. some familys forget about their mum/dad granny etc when they go in a home, its amazing how many of them dont even get a visitor and when they do there only there10mins.



exactly! why should they have to have cheap stuff just cos they have disabilities and live in a care home. fair enough if they were really expensive, but i would and have spent that much on pyjamas and pants for myself. if its so wrong for us carers to get them stuff because its their money then how are they meant to get their stuff? cos theres no one else thats going to do it and the resident themselves cant do it

Wouldn't be surprised if these residents are getting robbed blind. Not meaning OP but someone will be.

Which member of staff has the nice car and house but earns £6 an hour. lol

OP to conclude have you done wrong?

Yes!!

/Thread

I don't think some of the responders in this thread understand how some care homes work, the relatives leave some of their own money or the patients money with the care home to pay for stuff when they cannot be there. It is left to the homes discretion sometimes to spend it as they see fit.
This is usually if the patient is to unwell or mentally unfit to make that decision for themselves.

Original Poster

oh and his money isnt left by family. he has foster parents who barely ever see him, no other family. they dont leave him money, he gets what hes entitled to in benefits. when he first came his foster parents said to just buy him what he wants

donna-lou

oh and his money isnt left by family. he has foster parents who barely … oh and his money isnt left by family. he has foster parents who barely ever see him, no other family. they dont leave him money, he gets what hes entitled to in benefits. when he first came his foster parents said to just buy him what he wants



Exactly, so you haven't done anything wrong, good for you for trying to make his life a little happier.



Edited by: "greg_68" 4th Mar 2011

Original Poster

greg_68

I don't think some of the responders in this thread understand how some … I don't think some of the responders in this thread understand how some care homes work, the relatives leave some of their own money or the patients money with the care home to pay for stuff when they cannot be there. It is left to the homes discretion sometimes to spend it as they see fit.This is usually if the patient is to unwell or mentally unfit to make that decision for themselves.



no i dont think they understand either. if they ran a care home the residents wouldnt have any toiletries or other essentials, cos we have to take the money out their funds for those too

Original Poster

and these 2 items were one offs because they were mr potato head ones

donna-lou

no i dont think they understand either. if they ran a care home the … no i dont think they understand either. if they ran a care home the residents wouldnt have any toiletries or other essentials, cos we have to take the money out their funds for those too



Toiletries is hardly £37 for undewear and pj's, we get that you were nice to him, we get that you made his day brighter, we also get that he doesn't understand money so you could quite easily have been given £100 out of his allowance and spent a tenner..................not suggesting you did, BUT there are people out there with no morals and some of them work in places just like you do.
You know what this place is like, damned of you do and damned if you don't.
You look like you got in to bother with the boss for spending what you did, even though you must have spoken about it with them before they gave you the cash, so maybes you just shouldn't do it again ?

donna-lou

and these 2 items were one offs because they were mr potato head ones



You could of got them cheaper on hukd oO

Have you done wrong...........


NO

don't listen it was a kind thing you did you know this person and if he had the money to spend then why not £37 may seem like a lot when there used to primark prices but it's not really and to be fair what else was he going to spend it on. I bet he loves them and will get a lot of pleasure from them. You know him not the people on here telling you you've done wrong so don't worry about it.

Original Poster

i can assure you no fiddling is going on in my workplace. we provide receipts for everything we get them. and the boss hasnt had a go, its just the senior who said he has loads of money anyway, having a whinge cos shes not happy unless shes got something to moan about

£37 for a pair of pj's and boxers might not seem like a lot of money to you, but it does to me and maybe to the man's family. Did you tell the manager before hand how much he they were?

Original Poster

cacaroca

Have you done wrong...........NO don't listen it was a kind thing you did … Have you done wrong...........NO don't listen it was a kind thing you did you know this person and if he had the money to spend then why not £37 may seem like a lot when there used to primark prices but it's not really and to be fair what else was he going to spend it on. I bet he loves them and will get a lot of pleasure from them. You know him not the people on here telling you you've done wrong so don't worry about it.



thankyou. i know he will love them. if they were plain boxers for example, then no i wouldnt have spent £12 on them and the same with the jamas

cacaroca

You know him not the people on here telling you you've done wrong so … You know him not the people on here telling you you've done wrong so don't worry about it.



Have you actually read the OP?

It was her boss who initially told her she was wrong to spend that amount

Original Poster

transit

Have you actually read the OP? It was her boss who initially told her she … Have you actually read the OP? It was her boss who initially told her she was wrong to spend that amount



seems you havent read it either. it was the senoir

Just a point of order...
I don't think 'tatty head' is anything to do with potatoes. I'm pretty sure the 'tatty' bit just means untidy, so the relevance of Mr potato head escapes me.
Just sayin...

donna-lou

seems you havent read it either. it was the senoir



So the senior has no authority over you or the residents money?

The way I read the start of the OP I thought you saw them as a gift due to his way of calling people Taty head.
Then it went on that yes you thought they suited him well, but wasn't going to use your money when his money was easy to reach.
So it was like doing a kind thing but getting him to pay as he doesn't have a clue about money and doesn't spend it elsewhere.

OP Obviously you were only trying to be kind. But I would be unhappy if someone caring for my grandparents saw something they "thought" they may like, and bought it from my grandparents money without even knowing if they wanted it.

The op has stated it's a home for disabled adults, more than likely some of them have learning difficulties. These residents still get paid all their entitlement of benefits. The majority don't pay anything towards the household bills etc, if they do it's a very small % of their income. If it's not spent it ends up in their bank account. Bear in mind some residents have thousands saved up as it's never spent & when it gets to a certain point it can have an affect on their benefits, in some cases stop them.

So at the end of the day all their income is like their pin money to spend. I'm not saying go & squander it for the sake of it, but whats wrong with buying them nice clothes rather than loads of tat.
If the resident was able, I think what you should have done was supported him/her and taken him out to the shop with you. Would he/she have been able to communicate that he liked them or not? If they did like them them double check the prices with the senior?
Who knows what your senior is like though, they may think £2.50 is a lot to pay for boxers.
Whether the senior thought the items were expensive or not is irrelevant, it's the residents choice (within reason) and you as carers are there to support them . £12 for boxers & £25 does not seem excessive to me.

Original Poster

Soaps

The op has stated it's a home for disabled adults, more than likely some … The op has stated it's a home for disabled adults, more than likely some of them have learning difficulties. These residents still get paid all their entitlement of benefits. The majority don't pay anything towards the household bills etc, if they do it's a very small % of their income. If it's not spent it ends up in their bank account. Bear in mind some residents have thousands saved up as it's never spent & when it gets to a certain point it can have an affect on their benefits, in some cases stop them.So at the end of the day all their income is like their pin money to spend. I'm not saying go & squander it for the sake of it, but whats wrong with buying them nice clothes rather than loads of tat. If the resident was able, I think what you should have done was supported him/her and taken him out to the shop with you. Would he/she have been able to communicate that he liked them or not? If they did like them them double check the prices with the senior?Who knows what your senior is like though, they may think £2.50 is a lot to pay for boxers.Whether the senior thought the items were expensive or not is irrelevant, it's the residents choice (within reason) and you as carers are there to support them . £12 for boxers & £25 does not seem excessive to me.


last year they had to spend his money on some new furniture for him because it was getting to the point where his benefits would get stopped. we didnt have him with us because it was our day off. we had seen them previously and knew he would like them so after asking if he had enough we got them when we were out shopping

Well If he likes them I can't see what the problem is.
Your senior is obviously being a plank & being over cautious. It seems to me that the resident is not being supported enough. Staff have taken the easy option & stashed all his money away. Then it gets to the 'oh no we need to spend £2K in the next 2 wks or it will affect his benefits' stage. Then it's panic buy new tv & furniture.
I think you done good

deek72

Just a point of order... I don't think 'tatty head' is anything to do … Just a point of order... I don't think 'tatty head' is anything to do with potatoes. I'm pretty sure the 'tatty' bit just means untidy, so the relevance of Mr potato head escapes me. Just sayin...


Its tatey you div. not tatty! Its a northern word for potato!
And these pjs and boxers are from Next, i got the "headache" them before off the little one
Edited by: "Lulu'sMammy" 4th Mar 2011

Good on you donna lou i say , for thinking of a patient and taking time to try and make what so called life he has happy , liike you have said his foster parents dont bother ( disgraceful ) he obviously has no other pleasures in life and nothing else for his benefit money to be spent on so why shouldnt he have a few luxuries in life ( which we all like now and again ) but sometimes cant afford , but in his case he can, and where else is the money going to go ? sit in a bank account mounting up until the unfortunate happens and someone else benefits ?.......Good luck and hope the fella in question likes them xx
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