I've seen this coming for a while. But now something has happened to make it materialise.
Brief Backstory.
In April 2021 Mum was fast tracked home to me where we live under Notice of Intent. District Nurses visited often if only to count the vials or morphine. A 'care package' was in place when she came home. I nursed Mum back to how she was prior to the two weeks the NHS got their claws into her. As time passed the District Nurses visited less and then stopped visiting. Their contact went to a phone call every month. My GP told me I was doing a good job. I got Carers reduced but couldn't get rid of them - and there it all began.
Now.
In April Mum's back began with 'something'. A patch of redness that spread and spread. The 'carers' - "who have to come because they know what to look for" - told me to put Conotrane on it. It kept spreading but I thought they knew what they were doing . In the end my Mum's back was terrible and I was going to go to the GP about the time they told me to. Since then till now nobody has really known what was the problem. She's had countless creams and antibiotics. Then the Twilight Zone hit. The District Nurses made a Safeguarding Alert to Social Services about me, causing my Mum's back problem!
The phone call was I "had bought creams off the internet and used them on Mum!". Yes Sudocrem and Drapolene but I had not used them on her back and rarely used them at all. I just put on what the GP said when he said the entire time.
Today Social Services called at the house out of the blue while I was feeding her. This is the problem....(yes finally sorry)..COVID
Mum is high risk in the 85 and over age group.
Her main vax was ChAdOx1..not effective in preventing sypmtomatic disease now.
BA5 immune escape & reinfecting.
Omicron 75% as pathogenic to the Omicrom naive (Mum).
Mum in line for the top five of the top ten killing co-morbidities with COVID.
AND NOW Social Services turn up, wanting to 'speak to Mum' (who can't talk) while they are not wearing any masks at all, say they don't need to, ask me AFTER TWO AND A HALF YEARS OF SHIELDING only dealing with carers nurses and GP's to TAKE OFF MY MASK!!! tell me they don't have COVID (40% asymptomatic and 20% -ve LFT are false -ves, and tell me I don't need to shield anymore to protect Mum. There was more including some outright lies and willfully endangering Mum further but now after about 1 year of doing everything for my Mum and doing it well this Safeguard is looking to trigger more carers and more care visits = COVID exposure. Eg The D. Nurses asked me to turn Mum every two hours and yet Super Social Services Woman says one person can't turn another. Well the last person to turn Mum was a District Nurse and she turned Mum by herself. When we had two carers one carer would turn the other would change her pad. WHAT THE HECK IS THIS SOCIAL SERVICES WOMAN THINKING??. Whatever she seems dead set on getting more unrequired unwanted carers in which can only lead to Mum being very ill and dying for what?
If I said I'd come clean her dishes that she didn't need me to come and wash your dishes, and didn't want me to wash because she can do it fine herself, but 'hey there is a 1 in 17 chance I might give you a very infectious virus that will kill you is that OK?'...she'd call the Police!
Where the hell do I stand here? No Power Of Attorney but Mum never wanted to go into a Nursing/Care Home to be looked after by strangers. That is known by all the family.That is all I got.
My replies may be v short as Mum takes loads of my time up needing constant care. Then I get to eat.
Brief Backstory.
In April 2021 Mum was fast tracked home to me where we live under Notice of Intent. District Nurses visited often if only to count the vials or morphine. A 'care package' was in place when she came home. I nursed Mum back to how she was prior to the two weeks the NHS got their claws into her. As time passed the District Nurses visited less and then stopped visiting. Their contact went to a phone call every month. My GP told me I was doing a good job. I got Carers reduced but couldn't get rid of them - and there it all began.
Now.
In April Mum's back began with 'something'. A patch of redness that spread and spread. The 'carers' - "who have to come because they know what to look for" - told me to put Conotrane on it. It kept spreading but I thought they knew what they were doing . In the end my Mum's back was terrible and I was going to go to the GP about the time they told me to. Since then till now nobody has really known what was the problem. She's had countless creams and antibiotics. Then the Twilight Zone hit. The District Nurses made a Safeguarding Alert to Social Services about me, causing my Mum's back problem!
The phone call was I "had bought creams off the internet and used them on Mum!". Yes Sudocrem and Drapolene but I had not used them on her back and rarely used them at all. I just put on what the GP said when he said the entire time.
Today Social Services called at the house out of the blue while I was feeding her. This is the problem....(yes finally sorry)..COVID
Mum is high risk in the 85 and over age group.
Her main vax was ChAdOx1..not effective in preventing sypmtomatic disease now.
BA5 immune escape & reinfecting.
Omicron 75% as pathogenic to the Omicrom naive (Mum).
Mum in line for the top five of the top ten killing co-morbidities with COVID.
AND NOW Social Services turn up, wanting to 'speak to Mum' (who can't talk) while they are not wearing any masks at all, say they don't need to, ask me AFTER TWO AND A HALF YEARS OF SHIELDING only dealing with carers nurses and GP's to TAKE OFF MY MASK!!! tell me they don't have COVID (40% asymptomatic and 20% -ve LFT are false -ves, and tell me I don't need to shield anymore to protect Mum. There was more including some outright lies and willfully endangering Mum further but now after about 1 year of doing everything for my Mum and doing it well this Safeguard is looking to trigger more carers and more care visits = COVID exposure. Eg The D. Nurses asked me to turn Mum every two hours and yet Super Social Services Woman says one person can't turn another. Well the last person to turn Mum was a District Nurse and she turned Mum by herself. When we had two carers one carer would turn the other would change her pad. WHAT THE HECK IS THIS SOCIAL SERVICES WOMAN THINKING??. Whatever she seems dead set on getting more unrequired unwanted carers in which can only lead to Mum being very ill and dying for what?
If I said I'd come clean her dishes that she didn't need me to come and wash your dishes, and didn't want me to wash because she can do it fine herself, but 'hey there is a 1 in 17 chance I might give you a very infectious virus that will kill you is that OK?'...she'd call the Police!
Where the hell do I stand here? No Power Of Attorney but Mum never wanted to go into a Nursing/Care Home to be looked after by strangers. That is known by all the family.That is all I got.
My replies may be v short as Mum takes loads of my time up needing constant care. Then I get to eat.
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40 Comments
sorted byFirstly the skin issue.
is your mum incontinent? And does the pad leak so that she ends up getting pee on the affected area? Sorry have to ask as urine can have serious affects on the skin.
I know you have said you have tried all the creams and I’m sure they are too numerous to mention, but have you been given AproDerm or Cavilon? These are barrier creams and should be used on anyone that is prone to pressure sores.
is she on a pressure mattress? if not the district nurses need raking over the hot coals.
also Epimax or aqueous are moisturisers that help older people who are prone to dry skin. Do you manage to get at least 2lts of fluids in your mum?
A steroid cream that is given for bad types of eczema is xemacort (only thing that worked for my grandad)
secondly,
You can turn/roll a person on your own with in reason. Obviously if they are extremely heavy you can hurt yourself and/or them if not done properly.
If your mum is unable to assist with the turn and is classified as a double (meaning needs 2 carers) then the way it should be done is that while one carer is rolling your mum towards her/him the second carer is pushing your mum towards the first carer.
Also you must not pulling your mum by the arm and such. You should have your hand behind her shoulder and hip of the opposite side to the side you are and then talking to her and telling her what you are doing and what is expected of her (Roll to me) complete the action.
hope that makes sense.
There are videos on YouTube that show correct repositioning of a patient.
the third part
CQC maybe able to help, they are the ones that are supposed to monitor everyone else but they can also be completely useless if you get the wrong person.
here in Southend we have the following services and wherever you are should have similar service, our one’s maybe able to help with numbers.
Carers Hub
Tel: 01702 393 933
Address: Southend Carers' Forum, SAVS, 29-31 Alexander Street, Southend-On-Sea, Essex SS1 1BW.
info@southendcarers.co.uk
admin@southendcarers.
Monday to Thursday 9am - 5pm
Fridays 9am - 4:30pm.
Southend Cares
Telephone: 01702 393933
Email:info@southendcarers.co.uk
Help and Advice for Carers
Contact Adult Social Care
Telephone: 01702 215008
Email: council@southend.gov.uk
She is on a pressure mattress but here is the thing I lay her only on her back and left hand side. The thing started and has persisted on her right hand side of her back. Even when laid on her back she tilts to the left. TLDR the area that was the main problem gets the least pressure. Most people say it isn't a pressure sore. Currently on MediHoney barrier cream.
I'm no way getting that fluid into Mum. She is too tired most the time. Then 'talks' while eating / drinking. Doesn't close her mouth and doesn't swallow. Just lately has started to spray food and drink out instead of swallowing. I know it's not good.
Turning .. this is the worry from the SSW. She would NOT accept I could do it. Mum is 40Kg or likely now much less. She is immobile but I can turn her. The D Nurses know I can and Continuing Health Care know....but this SSW just won't have it. If this is their view and they won't listen?
CQC will monitor SS?
Thanks for the numbers!
When social services come round, state you are recording everything and do record it on your phone. That way you have proof of what they saying.
You say your mother can’t speak but is she sound of mind and can communicate other ways or not?
Social services are there for your mothers best interest, the district nurse contacted them for a reason, you may not like it but a home maybe the best place for her so she gets the care she needs, you also get your life back.
As for wearing masks, if it’s your house you can make the rules, you don’t have to let them in, again record this. Only thing with this if they think it’s safe guarding issue they can go to court to get access. But takes time.
others have give suggestions and you seem to have an excuse eg, shielding, mam had something for her bowels. If this is important you would of done something more than asking on here. Do you think the careers what come round are not going out all the time, they could bring something in as much as you by you going out.
Go and get legal advice, book appointment with a law firm. You said your mother doesn’t want to go into a home and other family know that as well, get them to look after her or go to solicitors..
i hope everything works out, but don’t make it a battle with social services and ruin the last time remaining you have with your mother. They are there to help..
good luck..
I have CCTV footage of carers removing Mum's mask (an FFP2) while they wore their poxy surgical masks, blocking me form putting Mum's mask back on, and threatening to "get someone to take her away" if I didn't leave the room - my own home, my own Mum, for strangers to deal with her - that she would not want either. Hours later I was being questioned by Paramedics and CID. Yes days after being fast tracked home under Notice Of Intent the 'carers' tried to get Mum taken away. I'd happily throw them under a bus. And did Social Services even look or listen to that video? No they refused to because IIRC I did not get permission to record. Did they look into the 'carers' scooping poo from Mum's bottom while she ay on her back, up over her privates and out the front and leaving her coverd in her own faeces all over her privates? No...because I complained about it but did not use the line this is a complaint. And SS have my Mum's best interest? So why no mask? Asking me to remove mine - when I could get it and 100% pass it on. Why wouldn't SSW tell me what the issue was because she would not say. How am I supposed to explain if I don't know? And why the lie(s) as I was told I had refused to let the Continuing Health Matrons in the house when they visited to do an assessment? How can a telephone call that turned into an over the phone assessment offer morph into people outside the house being told to go away? I'm not buying it. Seems to me this SSW is hell bent on something and being open frank transparent listening SAFEguarding best interests in killing her isn't it.
That is exactly why I don't want them doing any more than the current - which SSW is trying stop and increase. Now they and the D nurses stand 'down wind' of Mum in a very good ventilation system I made to keep her safe. Now their breath goes straight out the door. It's when it turns to people moving around in the room for any time the aerosol could get to her. Her p2's don't fit well and p3's can upset her / hurt her. I've looked after Mum very well like this for about one year and the only cock up is the 'carers'. They have done nothing good, only caused trouble, and stand to bring C19 as you said. What the heck is the point of that?
Do you know who has the ultimate word on this? SS or the Continual Health Care Matrons? I hope to God it's not anyone like SSW.
Now turning in to a rant "a home might be the best place for her". I've not the time to type it all out but this is it. Last year Mum was fine. Then she got a DVT and had to go to hospital. She was awake over 30 hours. This was like a normal person being awake 5 days (she slept 18 a day at the time) . When we left A&E to "come back the next day be ready for 7am" (for a scan) I said this time in A&E would take Mum weeks to recover from and couldn't it wait - we had the blood thinner. They didn't listen. When we came back Mum looked like a corpse. They took her away from me. Two weeks under the NHS "care" (1 in hospital 1 in a nursing home) they brought her back for End of L. They absolutely destroyed her in 2 weeks. Now you understand my deep deep hatred for i'health professionals? All they needed to do was look at their own Hospital records to see how long Mum had been in Hospital. Then when the Ambulance was called. And they'd see why she was looking so bad - put it this way they discharged us from A&E - it was the aftermath of that kicking in that made her look so ill - just like I said it would.
I just see them destroying her one last time just for he sake of ....? Keeping themselves in a job? She doesn't need more carers. More C19. More aggro. More poorer care than I do. etc
Yes my Mum was ill but fine. Could feed herself slowly, sit in a chair, clap hands, speak. And they forcibly take her away and bring her back 2 weeks later fast tracked becasue she is dying! You ever ha that happen? And I've had the same (swear words) happen time and time again since. I trust one of my GP's and that is it. (edited)
If you participate in the safeguarding, if you have nothing to worry about, you have nothing to explain and be worried about
I am worried they may just decide to take her away or something based on f all.
EDIT NW England (edited)
Fight this to the bitter end!
lancashire.gov.uk/hea…ts/
lgo.org.uk/adu…re/
cheshirewestandchester.gov.uk/res…nts
Hi - saddened to hear of your family circumstances
above are links for some of Local Authority adult social care in NW regions - if yours is none of them then google your LA adult social care complaints team and keep copy of the complaint
On completing complaints process if not satisfied then contact Ombudsman
Social services often work on - whats working well / what are we worried about / whats needs to happen
My hypothesis from the information is there is more to be worried about than working well - the blame game is irrelevant
It is clear adult social care workers believe there is a suspicion of neglect given professional district nurse referral and evidence of physical harm - given there also appears a history of LA social care perception you are a barrier to their assessment / doing their job - it is expected that SW will be concerned if
There is link below to what is neglect
nhs.uk/con…ts/
Your mother could request an advocate - that could be you but it may be more appropriate to have a professional health trained professional - ideally one that understands patients needs i.e. has extensive experience and qualifications / reputation / credibility
nhs.uk/con…te/
Finally - co-operate - co-operate and co-operate some more
Hope situation improves for your mom and family - good luck
Replying to
the reality is such a sore doesnt happen overnight - appears preventable, unless you can prove an allergic reaction to Conotrane it would suggest the injury was otherwise obtained
you could procrastinate at length or submit a complaint as suggested previously if genuinely feel aggrieved
debating the issue here will not provide you with your desired outcome
those advising solicitor - do not acknowledge you should exhaust complaints process where possible prior to legal actions
i would infer you may come across as vexatious claimant / complainant
please recognise all comments are a hypothesis from information provided - i do not profess to be an expert of your relationship or care of your mother
Very easy for us - who are on here looking for shopping deals and 'wander' into this section to comment, but I think the time has come for you to make possibly the hardest decision you have ever had to make. I assume you don't have a wife or children who need you?
I don't mind being exhausted for her. You know what I often think about? Marriage vows. For better for worse, richer, poorer, sickness, health. That is what I'm dedicated to for her. I do my best. I sleep and eat when I can. Just me and Mum against the world.
I would suggest you work with them in the best interests of your mum an try to not let covid rule your life.
Going through my records. The first time the District Nurses called to see Mum's back at my request, one of them said it looked like an allergic reaction to her pad.
A subsequent visit. A different District Nurse said - it looked like an allergic reaction to her pad.
Fast forward to a senior nurse coming because Mum's back now looked like a wound it had gone so bad - 'looks like an allergic reaction to her pad'. So from the very start they had identified it as this, but didn't do whatever it was they were supposed to have done - but in the mean time decided to blame me for some FUBAR idea because they saw some creams (yes that is the entire basis of the idea) - therefore I must be responsible for this mess.
Meanwhile me and Mum are suffering as we have to undergo Assessment after Assessment and I really don't think people are being straight with me. I'm stressed and distracted from giving Mum full care she deserves from me.
PS she never wanted to go into a care home because she never wanted strangers taking her to the toilet / washing etc. This was widely known. And that's what she might get more of because of this...before she gets C19 of course.
You are not married to your Mum - your second paragraph above, to me, does not quite 'sit right'.
My Mum died this week. I think she might have died in agony. That might have also been because of the District Nurses.
I wanted to die with Mum some how. But now I'm left with nothing. I shielded with her for over 3 years in total. When she was returned bed bound and so Ill all I've done is try and look after her. All I've had from the professionals apart from my GP is absolute horrendous treatment. Some carers came and because I didn't want to leave the room they actually tired to get her taken away again based on made up stories! An ambulance came and everything. And knowing how I'll thye made her on passage 1 you damn well know how I thought it would turn out if it happened again. And these are "care givers". I really HATE them all the life they have given us over the past two years.
Sorry. Thank you for your reply. I only see one reason to keep on living and that is to tell the world what they did to me and Mum.
Please try to focus on the positive memories.
I wish you well.