how can I stop the bloomin birds pooing off my aerial?!

44
Found 10th Jun 2008
the aerial man just came and changed the pole so it sits more over the house cos the birds poo all over my patio but it still sticks out a bit so I'm still gonna get poo everywhere! what can I do apart from shoot the fings cos that'll make more mess!

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44 Comments

get sky? they'll slip off the dish

Banned

Pigeon spikes! It will be a pain removing the dead ones, but it'll work. Get pigeon spikes.

Banned

midlandscomics;2283796

get sky? they'll slip off the dish



lmfao


there birds for gawds sake, maybe you could put a potty down and train them -lol

put some cat food up ther, be prepared to deal with larger marks on your patio though

sassie;2283809

lmfaothere birds for gawds sake, maybe you could put a potty down and … lmfaothere birds for gawds sake, maybe you could put a potty down and train them -lol



As sassie implies, bird litter tray. Would have thought it would be obvious actually.

Banned

Wire it to the mains.......
For a short while they might still poo as they lose control of all bodily functions, but the rest will soon notice the dead ones and stear clear!

Shoot them ?

I have heard that they are afraid of silver foil, they put it on top of caravans to deter them......... small strips of bright coloured plastic or ribbon that will move in the wind could do it as they do that on seed patches.

put a scarecrow on top of your roof

Fasten a bird feeder to your neighbours aerial, they will be happier there then!

http://www.dreadgazebo.com/gunporn/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/fn-shotgun.jpg

Banned

harlzter;2283920

Fasten a bird feeder to your neighbours aerial, they will be happier … Fasten a bird feeder to your neighbours aerial, they will be happier there then!



thats just the best:w00t:

smithyp1;2283856

Shoot them ?



You're not allowed to if they are pelicans or swans, not worth the risk of shooting the wrong species.

Bird litter tray, all good pet shops have them.

Original Poster

erm ........ I think I'll go with the foil strips lol ta x

put some kind of greasy substance on it and they will slip off!

Original Poster

actually the bird feed on the neighbours aerial is quite appealing.....

kirsty1981;2283937

erm ........ I think I'll go with the foil strips lol ta x



Foil strips will deflect your television signal.

princessboo;2283948

put some kind of greasy substance on it and they will slip off!



like a giant banana skin?

Banned

can i ask what sort of aerial you have and where it is located? cause im struggling to work out why it is even over you patio

Original Poster

hottoshop;2283953

Foil strips will deflect your television signal.



will it honestly?
should I go with the bird litter tray idea then?

Original Poster

sassie;2283964

can i ask what sort of aerial you have and where it is located? cause im … can i ask what sort of aerial you have and where it is located? cause im struggling to work out why it is even over you patio


a normal one?! it sits at the back of my house and points the same way as everyone elses round here which is straight over my newly laid patio! argh

Banned

kirsty1981;2283980

a normal one?! it sits at the back of my house and points the same way … a normal one?! it sits at the back of my house and points the same way as everyone elses round here which is straight over my newly laid patio! argh



how big is the chuffin aerial, mine sits on my chimney stack, and even if birds sat on it, they would only shat on me roof, not the patio

sassie;2283988

how big is the chuffin aerial, mine sits on my chimney stack, and even if … how big is the chuffin aerial, mine sits on my chimney stack, and even if birds sat on it, they would only shat on me roof, not the patio



lol :-D

sassie;2283988

how big is the chuffin aerial, mine sits on my chimney stack, and even if … how big is the chuffin aerial, mine sits on my chimney stack, and even if birds sat on it, they would only shat on me roof, not the patio



lmao

Sassie you have such a way with words. cheered me up yet again, owe you one:-D:gift:

sassie;2283988

how big is the chuffin aerial, mine sits on my chimney stack, and even if … how big is the chuffin aerial, mine sits on my chimney stack, and even if birds sat on it, they would only shat on me roof, not the patio



perhaps they've got a good aim :thumbsup:

kirsty1981;2283967

will it honestly?should I go with the bird litter tray idea then?



Definitely the bird litter tray. It will also be a great ice breaker and talking point for the summer's BBQ's.

Original Poster

sassie;2283988

how big is the chuffin aerial, mine sits on my chimney stack, and even if … how big is the chuffin aerial, mine sits on my chimney stack, and even if birds sat on it, they would only shat on me roof, not the patio



normal size i think?!

sassie;2283988

how big is the chuffin aerial, mine sits on my chimney stack, and even if … how big is the chuffin aerial, mine sits on my chimney stack, and even if birds sat on it, they would only shat on me roof, not the patio



I think it's this big:

[IMG]pictopia.com/per…age?provider_id=620&size=550x550_mb&ptp_photo_id=3733381[/IMG]

Banned

i think you gonna have to draw us a diagram of house and aerial, cause it sounding like you got a dolls house and a big boys aerial

Banned

right im not to good on the old drawing front but this is like mine, see no shat anyhere if it directed like mine

http://i213.photobucket.com/albums/cc254/sassie-sassie/noshat.jpg

sassie;2284143

right im not to good on the old drawing front but this is like mine, see … right im not to good on the old drawing front but this is like mine, see no shat anyhere if it directed like mine



see post #30 for the aerial in question.

Banned

oh wow, that is some aerial, maybe the op runs some kind of mucky shop from their home

sassie;2284143

right im not to good on the old drawing front but this is like mine, see … right im not to good on the old drawing front but this is like mine, see no shat anyhere if it directed like mine



lovin you're custom windows sas :thumbsup:

sassie;2284176

oh wow, that is some aerial, maybe the op runs some kind of mucky shop … oh wow, that is some aerial, maybe the op runs some kind of mucky shop from their home



http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v232/murdoch2002/untitled-1.jpg

Banned

lmfao @ midlandscomics, im sure i just peed myself

Banned

op turn it the other way round you doughnut

midlandscomics;2284190



now thats what I call detached... if thats to scale (and theres no reason why it shouldnt be, there aint no other gaffe in a 15 mile radius! - Also if enough birds sat on that ariel it would topple over, in effect its a cantilever beam

Can I also state that from the image you bird shats like a rabbit, I blame global warming!

sassie;2284193

lmfao @ midlandscomics, im sure i just peed myself



hotukdeals.com/ite…es/

happy to help :thumbsup:

I think you might need to stop chucking your stale bread on the roof OP

http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f160/ordinaryphotos/bird_on_aerial.jpg

http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f160/ordinaryphotos/birdaerial.jpg

Original Poster

how are you all drawing pics?! i wanna do it!
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