How do you deal with friends or family that owe you money?

35
Found 16th Aug 2008
This is the most irritating thing ever in my opinion.

I'm not rich or anything of the sort but everyone seems to owe me money, I've lost friends because they choose not to pay me back for a short term loan and I feel like a nag asking for my money back from family. :-(

In total, I'm owed over £5k from friends and family but every time I ask for the money back or check what's happening, they start telling me they can't afford to pay me back because of this, that and the other.

The thing is, my life is going to be changing in the near future because I might be moving out of the area and setting up new investments etc, so I could really do with the money back but all of this is a big inconvenience and then I feel guilty for asking for something that's rightfully mine.

So what do you think I should do (apart from the obvious of not borrowing money out in the first place :p) and does anyone else have these kind of problems?

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35 Comments

Kidnap their loved ones.....

Banned

tell them they owe you the money and you really dont appreciate having to hassle them to return it, you gave it in good faith it would be returned without these excuses and if not returned asap you will certainly think twice beofre offering to help them again ( not that you ever would, but hopefully they may feel guitly enough to pay back what they owe)

Original Poster

CHARLIETHIRTYTWO;2760305

Kidnap their loved ones.....



Then I would have to kidnap myself. :giggle:

just explain your situation that your in need of the money now

you did them a favour so they should appreciate it

CHARLIETHIRTYTWO;2760305

Kidnap their loved ones.....



realfriendlyman;2760324

Then I would have to kidnap myself. :giggle:



So they love you but don't respect you??!?

Prove you're not a soft touch & make an example of one of 'em.....

Just tell them that you are in desparate need of the money that they owe you.

If they are trying to avoid playing you back then they are not real friends.

Original Poster

sassie;2760322

tell them they owe you the money and you really dont appreciate having to … tell them they owe you the money and you really dont appreciate having to hassle them to return it, you gave it in good faith it would be returned without these excuses and if not returned asap you will certainly think twice beofre offering to help them again ( not that you ever would, but hopefully they may feel guitly enough to pay back what they owe)



I've tried that many times in the past but I still borrow money to them in emergencies and when I asked my bro about it the other day, he said he can't pay me back and offered to give me his plasma tv that I paid for a couple years ago. lol

onlyme23;2760337

just explain your situation that your in need of the money now you did … just explain your situation that your in need of the money now you did them a favour so they should appreciate it



Agreed - let them know that you NEED it, and see what they say :thumbsup:

Banned

realfriendlyman;2760355

I've tried that many times in the past but I still borrow money to them … I've tried that many times in the past but I still borrow money to them in emergencies and when I asked my bro about it the other day, he said he can't pay me back and offered to give me his plasma tv that I paid for a couple years ago. lol



well, im not gonna say what im thinking, cause you already know;-)

Original Poster

CHARLIETHIRTYTWO;2760342

So they love you but don't respect you??!?Prove you're not a soft touch & … So they love you but don't respect you??!?Prove you're not a soft touch & make an example of one of 'em.....



That's what my gf says, so I should make an example out of my bro and take the plasma tv back for some of the money. :giggle:

To be honest, I've got most of the money back from friends....but it's mainly family that's taking the mick......and because I care about them, I try to help them out when they need it but feel like carp for trying to get back what's rightfully mine. :-(

Original Poster

The JFK;2760353

Just tell them that you are in desparate need of the money that they owe … Just tell them that you are in desparate need of the money that they owe you.If they are trying to avoid playing you back then they are not real friends.



I've told them that but they just say "what do you want me to do....pull it out of my bum?"

Then they just stress they haven't got it and tell me about all there hardships and then I feel guilty for asking them in the first place. :-(

ive been here before!!! u need to sit em down and explain and give them a realistic deadline for it as you need to give them a chance to get it together. if they try and fob you off they are taking the p*** and need to be told so. Im afraid family are the worst at this and you kind of have to be prepared not to see some of it again. Its up to you how you deal with them :x

Do you think that maybe because you have let them borrow and not pay it back in the past and then lend again, they think they do not have to?

My parents are in a terrible situation in that they sold their business to a relative. They both agreed not to go down solicitors route to save money. You would think you could trust family!!! They gave an upfront payment of 15k and now the person has taken over and given nothing else since. They owe tens of thousands of pounds and my parents are looking at losing their home. Im furious, but dad has his head in the sand so what can i do?

Family, ive pooped better things at times...... thats being polite.

tell the police they stole the money off you, or steal a car off them and sell it, my brother owed me £400 and i needed it back he wouldnt give it to me, so i browed £400 off my gran told my brother he now owes her the money, and because everyone is scared of my gran he paid her back straight away

get teh baseball bat out of the shed

Banned

pikachu, what happened to your thread, i was only teasing ya

sassie;2761256

pikachu, what happened to your thread, i was only teasing ya



i think it's against forum rules haha

Banned

pikachu12;2761277

i think it's against forum rules haha



whooops, i had a look and i cant see it, probably one of them discretion ones:thumbsup:

yeah, i saw rayman on the last post bit, and then i couldn't access it
ahh well, just transferred money from my bank account over but it will take 7 daysssss

I know a few people who will get the money back for you for a small fee:whistling:

fox2020;2761300

I know a few people who will get the money back for you for a small … I know a few people who will get the money back for you for a small fee:whistling:



You talking about Uncle Charlie?

This is one of those cases where a letter can do all the work for you.

send a letter pretending to be your soliciter

Banned

I have to say the easiest solution is, dont lend it to them in the first place.

Either that, or never expect the money back when you give it them, they are family after all :thumbsup:

pikachu12;2761332

send a letter pretending to be your soliciter



Yeah, but make sure you know how to spell solicitor or they'll see through it

Had similar bad experience long time ago, made me furious that when he had money one day still unwilling to return. Fortunately got it all back eventually by repeatedly speaking to him not so nicely, even though he was a close relative. After that, I declared to him that I will help him by other way but never again lend him money. He does not call me any more. Apparently no money no family!

Don't ever lend anyone money unless it would not bother you even the money will not be returned. :-D

In fact lending is a lot worse experience that borrowing, because, if one does not lend to you then you could always ask someone else; if one does not return your money you have to keep going back to the same person for it. Not worth it! :whistling:

macdoona;2761321

You talking about Uncle Charlie?



No, but now you come to mention it.http://img236.exs.cx/img236/9268/scratchchin6hy.gif

YOU LENT MONEY TO SOMEONE TO BUY A PLASMA TV?? omg i am happy to lend money but be sensible about it!
yep take the TV back and sell it and dont be so soft in future-sorry to be harsh but as Sassie said-you know really!

I'm owed over £5k



you really are a real friendly man giving out that much

fox2020;2761300

I know a few people who will get the money back for you for a small … I know a few people who will get the money back for you for a small fee:whistling:



macdoona;2761321

You talking about Uncle Charlie?



fox2020;2761370

No, but now you come to mention it.



Could I just point out that you're getting RFM's hopes up if you thinking I'm recovering anything for a SMALL fee.....

not as big as this but i lent someone a game then when i got it back recently over a year later the front cover looks like it has been soaked and ripped and the game has scratches on it and wont play:x

If individual loans were less than 5K I would go to Small Claims Online.
Cost to you would be around £50 but this would be ultimately paid by borrower.
OK you wouldn't be most popular man on the block but it's your money & would let them see your not the mug you appear to be !

I would say speak to your family, explain the situation and your future plans. Who knows, they may surprise you.

But I have to say at the end of the day.....family are family you can't really go down the route of threats

realfriendlyman;2760355

I've tried that many times in the past but I still borrow money to them … I've tried that many times in the past but I still borrow money to them in emergencies and when I asked my bro about it the other day, he said he can't pay me back and offered to give me his plasma tv that I paid for a couple years ago. lol




You'll find that family are usually the ones that take advantage, because they think they can because you're family. As others have said, I don't think you should go down the route of threatening etc, because as badly as they are treating you, at the end of the day they are still family. A starting point would be taking back the tv as mentioned above. You don't borrow for something like that and then just say you cant pay it back. If he's already said he can't pay you back, then taking the tv is really the only way you are going to see any of the money back. You're not going to get the full amount back, but something is better than nothing in that case.

As for everyone else, just say that you understand that they haven't got it to give you in one lump sum, but you were there when they needed help and now you need help in return. As you understand they can't pay it back in one go, get them to agree to set up standing orders for an agreed amount each month until it is paid off. Don't feel guilty about any of this - you have done everyone a massive favour by lending them money, and they are the ones being out of order for not even attempting to pay any of it back at all. Stick to your guns and don't let them make you feel bad - it's your money !! :thumbsup:

its nice to see I'm not the only one with scrounging, lazy & job-less (although yours might not be) friends
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