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    How Much Is Too Much....?

    I was just wondering... how much bad behaviour would people be willing to take from their partner, before it becomes 'too much'....?

    What would it take to make YOU fall out of love?

    I don't expect too many sensible reply's at this time of day/ night.... so go for it!!!!

    55 Comments

    I think that sometimes people in love, are blind to the faults of their other half, and don't see then as badly as some may.

    Original Poster

    bellabonkers;6972958

    I think that sometimes people in love are blind to the faults of their … I think that sometimes people in love are blind to the faults of their other half and don't see then as badly as some may.



    Wow... my first reply was sensible...... who expected that!?! :w00t:

    Hiya bella!

    I agree, but where would you draw the line???

    Not washing the dishes:-D

    Original Poster

    dcx_badass;6972960

    Anything.



    :?

    Original Poster

    deb8z;6972963

    Not washing the dishes:-D



    Lololol.... not quite on the scale I am thinking though!!! :whistling:

    dmh77;6972962

    Wow... my first reply was sensible...... who expected that!?! :w00t:Hiya … Wow... my first reply was sensible...... who expected that!?! :w00t:Hiya bella! :)I agree, but where would you draw the line???



    hmmm...if it makes you unhappy then you should draw the line.

    Everyone is different though,some will put up with violence for example,i wouldn't,if a bloke raised his hand to me that'd be it!

    deb8z;6972971

    Everyone is different though,some will put up with violence for example,i … Everyone is different though,some will put up with violence for example,i wouldn't,if a bloke raised his hand to me that'd be it!



    Same with name calling and emotional blackmail etc...

    if she gets rrod again then I may be forced to ditch her for a ps3, but until then she can do no wrong. I even forgave her for asassins creed 2 aand race pro.

    mod

    Depends what you consider bad behaviour?
    I sometimes roll in at 5am and I consider myself "bad" for that, but MrsW just thinks I'm a numpty cos we have a 2 year old who doesn't understand hangovers yet.
    Personally, I draw the line at lying. If they have something they wish to lie about then that kind of breaks the trust. So, I never lie to my my better half; or do anything that would make me lie.

    Original Poster

    bellabonkers;6972969

    hmmm...if it makes you unhappy then you should draw the line.



    Again, I agree.... but what if you had been in the relationship from very young, and the partner was even younger... basically they grew up together....

    But now, one of them of threatening the 'family unit' ... ?

    Original Poster

    ants97;6972975

    if she gets rrod again then I may be forced to ditch her for a ps3, but … if she gets rrod again then I may be forced to ditch her for a ps3, but until then she can do no wrong. I even forgave her for asassins creed 2 aand race pro.



    :oops:

    Not buying me a kitten.

    Original Poster

    andywedge;6972978

    Depends what you consider bad behaviour?I sometimes roll in at 5am and I … Depends what you consider bad behaviour?I sometimes roll in at 5am and I consider myself "bad" for that, but MrsW just thinks I'm a numpty cos we have a 2 year old who doesn't understand hangovers yet.Personally, I draw the line at lying. If they have something they wish to lie about then that kind of breaks the trust. So, I never lie to my my better half; or do anything that would make me lie.



    Lol... Andy, you are a sweetheart!!! :thumbsup:

    I am talking long term damage to your kids... mentally... :-(

    dmh77;6972979

    Again, I agree.... but what if you had been in the relationship from very … Again, I agree.... but what if you had been in the relationship from very young, and the partner was even younger... basically they grew up together....But now, one of them of threatening the 'family unit' ... ?



    In what way? what do you mean?

    Don't think length of relationship should have any bearing on it.
    If you love someone you treat them well and respect them. You don't lie, cheat and act baddly enough to upset and hurt the other one.

    Original Poster

    bellabonkers;6972989

    In what way? what do you mean?Don't think length of relationship should … In what way? what do you mean?Don't think length of relationship should have any bearing on it.If you love someone you treat them well and respect them. You don't lie, cheat and act baddly enough to upset and hurt the other one.



    But what if one half of the equation is abusing the love???

    andywedge;6972978

    Depends what you consider bad behaviour?I sometimes roll in at 5am and I … Depends what you consider bad behaviour?I sometimes roll in at 5am and I consider myself "bad" for that, but MrsW just thinks I'm a numpty cos we have a 2 year old who doesn't understand hangovers yet.Personally, I draw the line at lying. If they have something they wish to lie about then that kind of breaks the trust. So, I never lie to my my better half; or do anything that would make me lie.



    +1 ... honesty is one of the key pillars in the successful marriage.

    dmh77;6972995

    But what if one half of the equation is abusing the love???



    Then perhaps they need a stern talking to, lay your cards on the table and tell them things need to change for the better and why.

    Anyway, must go to bed or i'll never get up in the morning! eak....

    Goodnight x

    Is this a random thread,or is it concerning yourself?

    Original Poster

    bellabonkers;6973003

    Then perhaps they need a stern talking to, lay your cards on the table … Then perhaps they need a stern talking to, lay your cards on the table and tell them things need to change for the better and why.



    Bella, it isn't me, it is my oldest brother and his wife.....

    I am sick of telling him... :x

    Original Poster

    deb8z;6973005

    Is this a random thread,or is it concerning yourself?



    It is concerning me... but only by association!!

    Twas just on my mind... AGAIN!!!

    dmh77;6973008

    Bella, it isn't me, it is my oldest brother and his wife..... I am sick … Bella, it isn't me, it is my oldest brother and his wife..... I am sick of telling him... :x



    You'll get nowhere though,until said person sees the light it will fall on deaf ears unfortunately.

    dmh77;6973008

    Bella, it isn't me, it is my oldest brother and his wife..... I am sick … Bella, it isn't me, it is my oldest brother and his wife..... I am sick of telling him... :x



    Ahh dmh, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink (or something like that!)

    Original Poster

    deb8z;6973018

    You'll get nowhere though,until said person sees the light it will fall … You'll get nowhere though,until said person sees the light it will fall on deaf ears unfortunately.



    bellabonkers;6973020

    Ahh dmh, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink (or … Ahh dmh, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink (or something like that!)



    :-(

    Again... I agree, guess I was just asking... :thinking:

    Thanks for taking the time to reply guys!!! XXXXX

    mod

    dmh77;6972986

    Lol... Andy, you are a sweetheart!!! :thumbsup:I am talking long term … Lol... Andy, you are a sweetheart!!! :thumbsup:I am talking long term damage to your kids... mentally... :-(



    If that's the case then you read them the riot act; give them one more chance; then boot
    Kids are the best and if both parents aren't seeing that then the riot act should work (hopefully)
    But I would only do the riot act after a serious heart to heart - ie a warning of what was to come
    Just my opinion

    Original Poster

    andywedge;6973040

    If that's the case then you read them the riot act; give them one more … If that's the case then you read them the riot act; give them one more chance; then bootKids are the best and if both parents aren't seeing that then the riot act should work (hopefully)But I would only do the riot act after a serious heart to heart - ie a warning of what was to comeJust my opinion



    Too late I'm afraid..... her behaviour has been sooooo bad, for soooo long that social services are on it........ :cry:

    Unfortunately sometimes they don't learn until the other one has had enough and its too late,

    I also agree with Andywedge

    i would say

    violence to wards you or other members of house hold
    excessive drinking and not knowing when to stop and causing rows at all hours for no reason
    looking for a verbal fight when drunk
    cheating
    verbal abuse
    physical abuse
    wasting money and lying about it
    contacting old partners on social networking sites and msn or texting them
    inviting them round while drunk for later on in the week and forgetting about it
    constantly blaming me or someone else for all the arguments or problems that the person causes in the first place
    looks for any excuse to get there own way and get what they want all the time and results to bad habbits or miss calling you to there own family to get what they want
    blackmail, forcing a family member to speak to them after causing trouble and blackmailing them to get money or making up lies to cause trouble in the family
    doing things and blaming some one else. moving washing machine and denying it
    being made jobless for something you have done - ie sacked


    could think of more that people would draw the line at

    dmh77;6973047

    Too late I'm afraid..... her behaviour has been sooooo bad, for soooo … Too late I'm afraid..... her behaviour has been sooooo bad, for soooo long that social services are on it........ :cry:



    don't want to pry but are they just involved or getting 'seriously' involved?

    either way I guess its the same, she needs to realise asap and if social services can see that he isn't agreeing with her behaviour then thats a big plus for him in their books although they wont look on it to greatly if he keeps putting up with it as in their eyes he is letting it happen.

    whoops double posted then!

    Original Poster

    jazferbetay;6973049

    i would sayviolence to wards you or other members of house holdexcessive … i would sayviolence to wards you or other members of house holdexcessive drinking and not knowing when to stop and causing rows at all hours for no reasonlooking for a verbal fight when drunkcheatingverbal abusephysical abuse wasting money and lying about itcontacting old partners on social networking sites and msn or texting theminviting them round while drunk for later on in the week and forgetting about itconstantly blaming me or someone else for all the arguments or problems that the person causes in the first placelooks for any excuse to get there own way and get what they want all the time and results to bad habbits or miss calling you to there own family to get what they wantblackmail, forcing a family member to speak to them after causing trouble and blackmailing them to get money or making up lies to cause trouble in the familydoing things and blaming some one else. moving washing machine and denying itbeing made jobless for something you have done - ie sackedcould think of more that people would draw the line at



    :-(

    I can tick them all..... and he still hasn't given up... :?

    Actually, there is worse!!!

    oh god not the social services once involved they wont get off your backs,

    how bad is the situation, the kids okay'?
    what is her behavior like
    what is oh opinion on this
    don't they realize the kids are the main priority.

    they come round quiz you and tell you they will be back if called again, and they will be doing background checks and will just invade your life

    been there down that and boy woke us up and smelt the coffee, dont argu that much now either and it does have an affect on the kids

    Original Poster

    Emzy81;6973051

    don't want to pry but are they just involved or getting 'seriously' … don't want to pry but are they just involved or getting 'seriously' involved?



    'seriously' ....

    Original Poster

    jazferbetay;6973059

    oh god not the social services once involved they wont get off your … oh god not the social services once involved they wont get off your backs, how bad is the situation, the kids okay'?what is her behavior likewhat is oh opinion on thisdon't they realize the kids are the main priority.they come round quiz you and tell you they will be back if called again,been there down that and boy woke us up and smelt the coffee, dont argu that much now either and it does have an affect on the kids



    They needed to be.... there are 4 kids involved, and it just aint getting any better.... :-(

    dmh77;6973060

    'seriously' ....



    Then he needs to get out NOW im so serious the social services really will look at it as though he is letting it happen to his kids, he needs to get out and ask for their help in doing so (will look favourably on him that he is involving them) if he asks what he should say to the kids etc... but also with a little of his own initiative.

    bang there heads together or if thats to late they kids need to be taken in to another family members care until they can sort it out, last thin you want is social services try to take them off you, as they look for any excuse and they are getting tighter on and will use any little thing against you that they can find

    or get one of them out temporarily and get the kids with them sensible one until something it done amicably about the problems and if the problems cant be fixed or come to compromise then suggest maybe separation for a duration with the kids with sensible one. and if nothing can be down then last case is solicitor or courts for proper access and living rights and decision of where the kids will stay and who gets what and when ect.

    but then again you don't want one never seeing the kids again or redeemed as an unfit parent and the kids loosing both or one either


    Who got the social involved in the first place him her or some one else

    Original Poster

    Emzy81;6973064

    Then he needs to get out NOW im so serious the social services really … Then he needs to get out NOW im so serious the social services really will look at it as though he is letting it happen to his kids, he needs to get out and ask for their help in doing so (will look favourably on him that he is involving them) if he asks what he should say to the kids etc... but also with a little of his own initiative.



    Agreed... she hates him, and I think she only wants the kids to spite him.... :thinking:

    I have told him he is as bad as....

    She isn't allowed to be on her own with the kids for the next 3 months at least....

    Original Poster

    jazferbetay;6973066

    bang there heads together or if thats to late they kids need to be taken … bang there heads together or if thats to late they kids need to be taken in to another family members care until they can sort it out, last thin you want is social services try to take them off you, as they look for any excuse and they are getting tighter on and will use any little thing against you that they can findor get one of them out temporarily and get the kids with them sensible one until something it done amicably about the problems and if the problems cant be fixed or come to compromise then suggest maybe separation for a duration with the kids with sensible one. and if nothing can be down then last case is solicitor or courts for proper access and living rights and decision of where the kids will stay and who gets what and when ect.but then again you don't want one never seeing the kids again or redeemed as an unfit parent and the kids loosing both or one either



    The kids have been taken... we did that months ago... he needs to boot her out.... that is it!!

    my own opinion when you see the kids start to suffer its time to make break and walk to prevent any damage and if any its time to prevent any more occurring

    has the kids gotten back with them?? or are still away

    if shes that bad then i would get him to get in touch with solicitor and file for custody and she can have visitation rights if shes causing the main problems and needs to be booted as you say then may be only option apart from loosing them all together for good

    Original Poster

    jazferbetay;6973078

    my own opinion when you see the kids start to suffer its time to make … my own opinion when you see the kids start to suffer its time to make break and walk to prevent any damage and if any its time to prevent any more occurringhas the kids gotten back with them?? or are still away



    She has been in a drink unit at the local hospital, she is now out, she isnt allowed access unless she is accompanied... my younger bro and his wife are taking care of them, while my older bro is at work...!
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