How much would be a fair amount

    How much would you say is a fair amount to gift a friend for showering elderly mother - Mother won't have a carer and will let me do everything except shower her (which I can understand I think I would be the same if roles were reversed) She is willing to let my friend shower her who has done it a couple of times already but feel that I am taking advantage and would like to gift her but I no idea of the going rate Thanks


    Perhaps you might suggest to your friend a more formal arrangement. Perhaps you could claim carers allowance & give it to her.
    On the other hand, you friend might not want any payment. In which case, buy a gift for say £20? Or even a card, if she won't accept anything.

    Original Poster

    Thank you for your suggestion bubblegum2910 I have offered to pay her regularly but she has said definitely No

    what are her interests? how about flowers or a plant for her garden?

    True friends don't want paying, just a heart felt thank you is enough ,it's the fair weather friends that expect something.

    How about taking her for a meal occasionally

    Carer agencies would normally charge circa £20ph (that's in Sussex anyway), so I would think around £12 to £15 per hour would be a nice way to thank someone for helping your mother. HTH

    Your friend might not want paying because they don't want to make a long term commitment to do this.

    I think you need to have a proper conversation with them. Maybe you need to sort out a paid carer to do this.

    Sounds like your friend is an absolute gem. What a lovely person.

    how about taking her for a Butlins weekend or something along the lines

    Original Poster

    Would love to treat her to a weekend or even a week away but she would insist that I went with her and with my mum being so stubborn about who she will let help her - I can't unfortunately

    Maybe bake her a cake?

    She can always enjoy it with your mother, or take it home.

    It's something kind, caring, thoughtful, and homemade.

    A gift card for a supermarket or some shop where she can buy something... 10/15 pounds I'd say.
    Edited by: "hearts22" 12th Jun

    Would you be able to manage a spa day or half say?
    That may be a nice thank you gift and you could go with them?

    Or afternoon tea somewhere or a trip for fish and chips as a little thank you?

    For me when I do friends favours, I like nothing more than some acknowledgement of such. Perhaps as a thank you, you could cook a meal for said friend. Everyone needs to eat
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