How to deal with an uninvited friend

41 replies
Found 27th Feb 2010
I have this friend who I see every now and then for a beer, hes ok a bit of a dork, feel a bit sorry for him really. he looks a bit grungy too but hes ok to just get a beer with after work.

So heres the deal, Im meeting a different friend tonight in london and this other guy (the grungy one) calls me up and asks what im up to tonight, so i tell him im going to meet a friend tonight.

I dont want him to come because im a bit embarassed by him as he can be a bit socially awkward sometimes. i text him back and said ill catch up with you another time sorry. and he keeps ringing me and ringing me inviting himself to come out with me and my friend (who he doesnt even know by the way) when i didnt even ask him to join us. Isnt this practically begging? Its a bit pathetic and undearing form my perspective.

Either hes thick or a bit unhinged, what else can i do to make him get the hint??

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41 Comments

Sounds like you don't really like him, not really friend like behaviour!

Banned

just tell him youve got catching up to do with your other mate or tell him its a burd

Original Poster

MANJ_007;7967326

Sounds like you don't really like him, not really friend like behaviour!



hes ok but he looks a bit nerdish, ie: ponytail, clothes are that fashionable

Banned

Stop being so shallow. Marry him.

http://www.dailycomedy.com/images/jokes/b/493_0_ugly-lesbians.jpg

Solution is to not tell him where you are going.

Or be a bit nasty and tell him you are going to a different bar or club from the one you ARE going to (not nice, but if he keeps inviting himself you need to get a bit "harder" on him).

If he does not know where you are going he cant invite himself.

He may be a bit sad or lonely, but I am afraid that is his problem not yours.

Tell him your mate is picking you up in a two seater car and you are going a fair way.

Banned

Just tell him no, say you have made plans and you'll see if he is about next weekend to do something.

Original Poster

so im not being out of order here am i??

peterjmay;7967341

hes ok but he looks a bit nerdish, ie: ponytail, clothes are that … hes ok but he looks a bit nerdish, ie: ponytail, clothes are that fashionable



Take him shopping tomorrow?

peterjmay;7967381

so im not being out of order here am i??



Not if you tell him straight he's not invited.

Banned

peterjmay;7967381

so im not being out of order here am i??



Yes you are. You should love your fellow man. Even those with Pony tails.

Original Poster

tinkerbell28;7967373

Just tell him no, say you have made plans and you'll see if he is about … Just tell him no, say you have made plans and you'll see if he is about next weekend to do something.



ive told him no and he's peppered me with 7 calls and voicemails!!

peterjmay;7967381

so im not being out of order here am i??



No, you see exactly who you want to, when you want to.

The longer you leave it dragging along the harder it will be though.

Just tell him your friend needs to talk about something personal to you both and feel his presence will hinder that. 'Maybe another time though'

Banned

peterjmay;7967395

ive told him no and he's peppered me with 7 calls and voicemails!!



Then ignore him the guy as issues.

peterjmay;7967381

so im not being out of order here am i??



I don't think you are being out of order, but please be kind to him, you may be one of the only people he has to go out with and I'm sure he doesn't realise his actions could be putting that in jeopardy.

name and shame i think

Original Poster

rose_cat_jr;7967421

I don't think you are being out of order, but please be kind to him, you … I don't think you are being out of order, but please be kind to him, you may be one of the only people he has to go out with and I'm sure he doesn't realise his actions could be putting that in jeopardy.



hes always sending me textrs saying , hes in chinawhites (big London club) and other places when hes 'supposedly' on a night out!! i dont think he has any other friends

Banned

peterjmay;7967456

hes always sending me textrs saying , hes in chinawhites (big London … hes always sending me textrs saying , hes in chinawhites (big London club) and other places when hes 'supposedly' on a night out!! i dont think he has any other friends



Sounds worse than having a crazy OH, maybe best to start distancing yourself now.......pathological liars never make good friends.

peterjmay;7967456

hes always sending me textrs saying , hes in chinawhites (big London … hes always sending me textrs saying , hes in chinawhites (big London club) and other places when hes 'supposedly' on a night out!! i dont think he has any other friends



is it BG1, JFK?

he fancies you, and jealous your seeing someone else

sounds like hes a bit lonely, maybe be a mate and introduce him to your other friend and get on with it

Original Poster

roryk83;7967558

sounds like hes a bit lonely, maybe be a mate and introduce him to your … sounds like hes a bit lonely, maybe be a mate and introduce him to your other friend and get on with it



hes always saying he wants the oportunity to meet my friends!! he doesnt know any of them! he should find his own

Banned

peterjmay;7967690

hes always saying he wants the oportunity to meet my friends!! he doesnt … hes always saying he wants the oportunity to meet my friends!! he doesnt know any of them! he should find his own



He sounds like your partner not a friend, seriously start distancing yourself, you know it's wrong, if he has issues not your problem really, he needs to sort them out himself.

Sometimes you gotta be cruel to be kind:thumbsup:

Original Poster

i texted him back and said my friend has something personal to talk about and he just this sec txt me AGAIn and said ' fair enough but i dont see why i cant meet you both after uve talked'


FFS!!!!!!!!!

peterjmay;7967734

i texted him back and said my friend has something personal to talk about … i texted him back and said my friend has something personal to talk about and he just this sec txt me AGAIn and said ' fair enough but i dont see why i cant meet you both after uve talked'FFS!!!!!!!!!



http://img235.imageshack.us/img235/3338/jtbslg1hy.gif

sounds like he wants you

peterjmay;7967734

i texted him back and said my friend has something personal to talk about … i texted him back and said my friend has something personal to talk about and he just this sec txt me AGAIn and said ' fair enough but i dont see why i cant meet you both after uve talked'FFS!!!!!!!!!



Wow. I would expect any normal person to get the message by now. He sounds pretty desperate.

Most likely gay and wants your arshenburger. He has got a ponytail after all.

sdavi3680;7967900

Wow. I would expect any normal person to get the message by now. He … Wow. I would expect any normal person to get the message by now. He sounds pretty desperate.Most likely gay and wants your arshenburger. He has got a ponytail after all.



LOL

this guy sounds like a top freak, good luck with trying to get rid of him, I dunno what you can say without saying F off lool

Sounds like a bit of weirdo, who should get the HINT!

Maybe he's lonely and probably doesn't have many friends

Please remember this is a person, he may be a bit 'different' but has been an acquaintance of the OP's for some time. Try to be kind.

Peter.... why are you ignoring my calls mate?

Anyhow, I've had a haircut and just come back from Next.

I'll be over at 8 and we can go from there.

PS I love you man - and I have added another photo of you to the shrine.

Maybe one to keep sweet incase you want to lose a friend.

MANJ_007;7967385

Take him shopping tomorrow?



and cut his pony tail off

peterjmay;7967690

hes always saying he wants the oportunity to meet my friends!! he doesnt … hes always saying he wants the oportunity to meet my friends!! he doesnt know any of them! he should find his own



so none of your friends know each other and none of them can be friends with each over except you strange???

hmm some quite negative thoughts here so far, now if you arent that close to him fair enough and he shouldnt be pestering you and you do need to find someway to let him down "easy"

But rather than him being a dork or with issues does anyone not think he might have something like aspergers/autism as people have accused me of being like the friend OP has said before though I never swamp someone with texts and calls as I dont like speaking to people on the phone who arent family and at most I send a text asking what they are doing, if they say they are going out I ask if I can come, if they say no I ask if they can change mind as I am bored, if they say no again I say ok then some other time and give up.

A lot of time "dorkiness" IMO is that people are left out so its a vicious circle because they are paranoid or with low self esteem or just plain left out so need to make effort to be involved but arent in the loop as much.

is his name mark???

shamus1975;7968903

is his name mark???



Nigel, Derek or Trevor I'll go for.

greg_68;7968864

Maybe one to keep sweet incase you want to lose a friend.



You saying odd job is going to hunt the other friend down and 'take him out' if he doesn't let him go tonight?

hellfire;7968949
You saying odd job is going to hunt the other friend down and 'take him out' if he doesn't let him go tonight?


lol..no I meant if the OP wants to get rid of one of his other friends he could introduce him to the psycho.....but on the other hand what happens if he follows him tonight and finds out he could have gone after all.

I can just see him popping into the pub later......'fancy bumping into you two'.............
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