How to write an e-mail to sell product to a person/ business?

6 replies
Found 25th Nov 2009
This is what I have so far, but I'm not very good at writing letters etc

To whom it may concern,
I have noticed that your premises has had a makeover over the last couple of months.

Have you thought about having your website redesigned? A well designed website can increase bookings by as much as 15%.


This is where I'm stuck, I am not a salesman and don't want to sound pushy, anyone done any e-mail marketing? Any help or advice would be good.

thanks

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5 Comments

Banned

Stating facts and figures is pretty old school and pretty transparent to be honest.

Best to be as personable as possible, listing testimonials from happy customers and offer something FREE, like a consultation etc.

Keep it short and sweet - they'll either want it or the won't. In this climate, it's very hard to get someone to buy something they really don't want, or need.

And make it fun! B2B is one thing, but most people like a giggle, so make it light hearted and friendly.
Jus some friendly advice from someone who does this all the time.

good start!

I would say both your lines seem blunt......
I have noticed that your premises has had a makeover over the last couple of months
might be better as "It has come to my attention that over the past few months(??) you have been upgrading and improving your premises/workplace/house"
Have you thought about having your website redesigned? A well designed website can increase bookings by as much as 15%
could be "I am therefore writing today to enquire if you have considered redesigning your website? Its widely accepted that customers are upto 15% more likely to purcase items/materials/things from well designed., easy to use websites. Having taken the time to look at your website I have a few ideas of ways to improve some aspects of it. If you are interested in considering a redesign then please dont hesitate to contact me"

To me these seem more chatty yet still get the point across....where I have used '/'s' choose the right word to apply to the company etc....and for the improvements make sure you have looked at the website and do have a few ideas regarding what you would do

Original Poster

lil_tiger;7002039

I would say both your lines seem blunt......I have noticed that your … I would say both your lines seem blunt......I have noticed that your premises has had a makeover over the last couple of monthsmight be better as "It has come to my attention that over the past few months(??) you have been upgrading and improving your premises/workplace/house"Have you thought about having your website redesigned? A well designed website can increase bookings by as much as 15%could be "I am therefore writing today to enquire if you have considered redesigning your website? Its widely accepted that customers are upto 15% more likely to purcase items/materials/things from well designed., easy to use websites. Having taken the time to look at your website I have a few ideas of ways to improve some aspects of it. If you are interested in considering a redesign then please dont hesitate to contact me"To me these seem more chatty yet still get the point across....where I have used '/'s' choose the right word to apply to the company etc....and for the improvements make sure you have looked at the website and do have a few ideas regarding what you would do



That's brilliant Donna :thumbsup: Given me something to work from :-D

Thanks muchies

faevilangel;7002074

That's brilliant Donna :thumbsup: Given me something to work from … That's brilliant Donna :thumbsup: Given me something to work from :-DThanks muchies



no worries...I think things always sound better when someone else writes them lol....ask com, shes fab with wording
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