I don’t know if it’s really that bad

49
Posted 10th Mar
It’s 2:25 am I’m here waiting as I’ve loaded £40 into my old lotto account not used it in over a year I have an addictive personality I’m aware when I start I push hard keep spending to win then back of with gambling I’ve not done any kind of gambling in a while I’m normally good at controlling myself but today a lot of things are making me want to try my luck basically I went out for date night and we went past an arcade so I thought I’d try to win a bear or something started of couple pounds trying to win and the frustration at not winning made me put more in until I realised I’d lost £40 trying to win a bear from a claw machine the stupid claw just kept dropping the bear if I’d won something I would have just accepted it but now I feel I need a win so somehow I’ve ended up here just wondering if it’s really that bad I think I can control myself maybe I set a budget a week to gamble?
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Bargainhead10/03/2020 11:42

It’s only a Problem if you can’t afford it, the same as anything. Quitters …It’s only a Problem if you can’t afford it, the same as anything. Quitters call it addiction, if you drink to much but function on a daily bases what’s the problem it’s only when you lose your job it’s a problem as you can’t afford it any more, same as the the people who get up in the morning and take a line just to start the day, it’s only a problem if you can’t afford or it affects other parts of your life...


Ridiculous
It’s a problem when you can’t control it, just because you can afford it, doesn’t make it ok
49 Comments
Yeah, probably a bit of one thing and another eh, thanks for posting should help others who find themselves with this very familiar story.
Swap the gambling for something more enjoyable, put yourself on the van list so you can’t gamble online.
Also don’t carry cash at those type of places.
Good on you for recognising that there may be a problem.
Maybe seek out an anonymous helpline online to see if it is as you think.

Good luck
play a win everytime machine. toys are crap but atleast youll be winner
Try and set a budget but if i was you id get help now i know someone and it spiralled out of control very quick all his wages blown in a night couldnt afford rent food gambling is very close to drug addiction although its not very documented
Edited by: "sd13" 10th Mar
It’s only a Problem if you can’t afford it, the same as anything. Quitters call it addiction, if you drink to much but function on a daily bases what’s the problem it’s only when you lose your job it’s a problem as you can’t afford it any more, same as the the people who get up in the morning and take a line just to start the day, it’s only a problem if you can’t afford or it affects other parts of your life...
Bargainhead10/03/2020 11:42

It’s only a Problem if you can’t afford it, the same as anything. Quitters …It’s only a Problem if you can’t afford it, the same as anything. Quitters call it addiction, if you drink to much but function on a daily bases what’s the problem it’s only when you lose your job it’s a problem as you can’t afford it any more, same as the the people who get up in the morning and take a line just to start the day, it’s only a problem if you can’t afford or it affects other parts of your life...


It's a problem because the amount usually increases regularly.
davewave10/03/2020 13:00

It's a problem because the amount usually increases regularly.


Like I said not a problem as long as you can afford it...
"i don't know if it's really that bad?" - yes it is.

good luck with your addiction. i have an addictive personality and i find it impossible to give up habits until i get bored with it or i have got to the stage where i get a terrible fright.
Bargainhead10/03/2020 14:05

Like I said not a problem as long as you can afford it...


And that critical point is soon reached as losses are chased! 👌
Bargainhead10/03/2020 14:05

Like I said not a problem as long as you can afford it...


It's a problem if you can't control it regardless of how much money you have. If you are not able to make choices of your own free will then that is a problem. And if you can't afford it, well, that just makes a bad situation worse.
Edited by: "Add_to_Basket" 10th Mar
Bargainhead10/03/2020 11:42

It’s only a Problem if you can’t afford it, the same as anything. Quitters …It’s only a Problem if you can’t afford it, the same as anything. Quitters call it addiction, if you drink to much but function on a daily bases what’s the problem it’s only when you lose your job it’s a problem as you can’t afford it any more, same as the the people who get up in the morning and take a line just to start the day, it’s only a problem if you can’t afford or it affects other parts of your life...


Ridiculous
It’s a problem when you can’t control it, just because you can afford it, doesn’t make it ok
Add_to_Basket10/03/2020 15:04

It's a problem if you can't control it regardless of how much money you …It's a problem if you can't control it regardless of how much money you have. If you are not able to make choices of your own free will then that is a problem.


Exactly
Edited by: "snoopy18" 10th Mar
Add_to_Basket10/03/2020 15:04

It's a problem if you can't control it regardless of how much money you …It's a problem if you can't control it regardless of how much money you have. If you are not able to make choices of your own free will then that is a problem. And if you can't afford it, well, that just makes a bad situation worse.


But that’s the point if you can afford it, it’s not a problem it’s your choice to do it..

everyone is able to make choices the weak willed and quitters will call it addiction so they have an excuse, for not making the right choice...
snoopy1810/03/2020 15:06

Ridiculous It’s a problem when you can’t control it, just because you can a …Ridiculous It’s a problem when you can’t control it, just because you can afford it, doesn’t make it ok


Weak minded individuals, who call things addiction so they have an excuse...
Bargainhead10/03/2020 15:23

But that’s the point if you can afford it, it’s not a problem it’s your cho …But that’s the point if you can afford it, it’s not a problem it’s your choice to do it..everyone is able to make choices the weak willed and quitters will call it addiction so they have an excuse, for not making the right choice...


you obviously don't have an addictive nature and don't understand how people with such a personality deal with things and get themselves into all sorts of mess because they can't rationalise their behaviour and end up doing things they have no control over.

they can't budget as that is a rational behaviour and addiction does not pay any heed to rationality. if you have an addictive nature, you are only kidding yourself if you think you can control your behaviour. you may be able to do so short term but long term it doesn't really work as the trigger for the addictive nature will kick in sooner or later and it all goes terribly wrong again.

i find the best way to deal with addiction is not to go there in the first place so you avoid the trigger as long as you can. gambling has no limits so even though you may be able to afford it now, it will soon become unaffordable and you can't give it up when you have gotten yourself into a mess.
mutley110/03/2020 16:24

you obviously don't have an addictive nature and don't understand how …you obviously don't have an addictive nature and don't understand how people with such a personality deal with things and get themselves into all sorts of mess because they can't rationalise their behaviour and end up doing things they have no control over.they can't budget as that is a rational behaviour and addiction does not pay any heed to rationality. if you have an addictive nature, you are only kidding yourself if you think you can control your behaviour. you may be able to do so short term but long term it doesn't really work as the trigger for the addictive nature will kick in sooner or later and it all goes terribly wrong again.i find the best way to deal with addiction is not to go there in the first place so you avoid the trigger as long as you can. gambling has no limits so even though you may be able to afford it now, it will soon become unaffordable and you can't give it up when you have gotten yourself into a mess.


Not just gambling, alcohol and drugs are the same... what people are calling addiction is the buzz they get from one of the activities mentioned, People say it’s an illness and there addicted is just an excuse to do what they want..

i’m Totally not knocking people who do any of these activities, just don’t call it addiction and they can’t help it.. you can choose what you want to do... society now just puts labels on people and this just gives them an excuse to carry on “it’s not my fault I’m an addict”. Yes it is you chose to do it in the first place...
Bargainhead10/03/2020 17:00

Not just gambling, alcohol and drugs are the same... what people are …Not just gambling, alcohol and drugs are the same... what people are calling addiction is the buzz they get from one of the activities mentioned, People say it’s an illness and there addicted is just an excuse to do what they want..i’m Totally not knocking people who do any of these activities, just don’t call it addiction and they can’t help it.. you can choose what you want to do... society now just puts labels on people and this just gives them an excuse to carry on “it’s not my fault I’m an addict”. Yes it is you chose to do it in the first place...


the choice exists at the beginning as to whether you choose to do the activity or not. however people with addictive personalities will find it almost impossible to give something up once they have started on the activity even though they realise it is really bad for them. they still can not stop and drug addicts end up overdose so they lose their own life because they can not control their behaviour.

therefore my advice to the OP, who has realised that he has an addictive nature, is to stay away from gambling altogether, when he still has the choice as if he starts, he won't be able to stop and it will spiral out of control. gambling has ruined many lives and families.
mutley110/03/2020 17:16

the choice exists at the beginning as to whether you choose to do the …the choice exists at the beginning as to whether you choose to do the activity or not. however people with addictive personalities will find it almost impossible to give something up once they have started on the activity even though they realise it is really bad for them. they still can not stop and drug addicts end up overdose so they lose their own life because they can not control their behaviour.therefore my advice to the OP, who has realised that he has an addictive nature, is to stay away from gambling altogether, when he still has the choice as if he starts, he won't be able to stop and it will spiral out of control. gambling has ruined many lives and families.


Your using addictive personality as an excuse... by doing that society is enabling this....

people need to take responsibility for there own actions. If they want to gamble or drink or take drugs it’s up to them...
I'd invest the money in full stops...
I don't think this is the best place for advice, I think it's probably a compulsive mood disorder going on, feeding the addiction, by the sounds of it? You suggest you get easily frustrated and some go into an almost trance-like state trying to attain whatever goal they're focussed on - even if they know deep-down it's self-destructive.

Maybe cognitive behavioural therapy is worth considering to help you break down your thought patterns and try to halt the impulsive behaviour/control your moods. And then try to get to the root of why you think and behave this way.

The NHS site has some suggestions for advice and help for problem gambling, if you want to have a look: nhs.uk/liv…on/

Edit: Oops, someone's quoted the NHS page already, I read the replies from the bottom of the screen upwards.
Edited by: "louiselouise" 10th Mar
So quick update thank you all for the advice I’ve managed to win a a good amount today at the races and have taken out my initial amount will be using the rest to gamble as now that I’ve got the win I’m pretty much happy and have lost the taste for it I won’t be chasing any loses and plan to stop soon as I’ve lost the the remaining amount so thank you all again I think I just needed to win and that’s what was frustrating me.
Sonic_Rahman10/03/2020 18:41

So quick update thank you all for the advice I’ve managed to win a a good a …So quick update thank you all for the advice I’ve managed to win a a good amount today at the races and have taken out my initial amount will be using the rest to gamble as now that I’ve got the win I’m pretty much happy and have lost the taste for it I won’t be chasing any loses and plan to stop soon as I’ve lost the the remaining amount so thank you all again I think I just needed to win and that’s what was frustrating me.


Erm, so what would your comment say if you'd lost?
Sonic_Rahman10/03/2020 18:41

So quick update thank you all for the advice I’ve managed to win a a good a …So quick update thank you all for the advice I’ve managed to win a a good amount today at the races and have taken out my initial amount will be using the rest to gamble as now that I’ve got the win I’m pretty much happy and have lost the taste for it I won’t be chasing any loses and plan to stop soon as I’ve lost the the remaining amount so thank you all again I think I just needed to win and that’s what was frustrating me.


You’ve had a result , prove to yourself you haven’t got a problem and stop now.
Sometimes winning is actually the worse thing you can do, as it’s easy to win and you chase that feeling again.
louiselouise10/03/2020 19:07

Erm, so what would your comment say if you'd lost?


Most likely that I lost more and more till my bank balance screamed at me to stop I got lucky that’s all so got my win now I’m okay with losing whatever I made on top as I don’t see it as my money.
snoopy1810/03/2020 19:10

You’ve had a result , prove to yourself you haven’t got a problem and stop …You’ve had a result , prove to yourself you haven’t got a problem and stop now. Sometimes winning is actually the worse thing you can do, as it’s easy to win and you chase that feeling again.


I plan to stop I’ve just thrown all the winnings into different bets and couldn’t care less if I win or lose at this point as I don’t see it as playing with my own money I just needed that one win that’s all but I 100% agree with you sometimes a win is worse then a loss.
The odds of winning anything significant on anything relating to gambling is low as hell.
I must have spent so much money in my life on scratch cards and the lottery and won 100 pounds probably twice over countless years.

It gets you hooked, the flashy bright colours, the game play aspects.. I mean they spend millions getting people hooked on this, but the reward is virtually non-existent or just enough to keep you going some more. You probably win, what 30% back of your total spend on average?

Just remember how you would immediately feel after losing that money, frustrated and p***d off probably - It's not worth it.
guru40410/03/2020 19:58

The odds of winning anything significant on anything relating to gambling …The odds of winning anything significant on anything relating to gambling is low as hell.I must have spent so much money in my life on scratch cards and the lottery and won 100 pounds probably twice over countless years.It gets you hooked, the flashy bright colours, the game play aspects.. I mean they spend millions getting people hooked on this, but the reward is virtually non-existent or just enough to keep you going some more. You probably win, what 30% back of your total spend on average?Just remember how you would immediately feel after losing that money, frustrated and p***d off probably - It's not worth it.


The odds of winning at the races are better when you look at it over all I don’t mean you should go and bet I just mean statistically the odds are much better and I’ve taken out my initial bet and rewarded myself with £800 for the effort and left the rest on bets for tomorrow so I don’t plan on winning tomorrow as I’ve put them on some obscure bets.
Sonic_Rahman10/03/2020 20:02

The odds of winning at the races are better when you look at it over all I …The odds of winning at the races are better when you look at it over all I don’t mean you should go and bet I just mean statistically the odds are much better and I’ve taken out my initial bet and rewarded myself with £800 for the effort and left the rest on bets for tomorrow so I don’t plan on winning tomorrow as I’ve put them on some obscure bets.



Bookies make money by offering unfair odds, it doesn't matter what the sport whether it's Horse Racing, Football or the FOBT, you will not beat them long term. Roulette gives the bookies around a 3% edge, Horse racing and football 8%+. Slot machines 25%+. You might win the odd time but given enough bets those odds just multiply (that's why bookies love accumulators.)

If you do hit lucky and go on a streak, your account will be restricted (been there when I was matched betting and hit a 'lucky' 20/1 shot when I wanted it to lose.)

I'm not preaching as I've nothing against the odd flutter, I just know how the bookies make money.
GlentoranMark10/03/2020 20:42

Bookies make money by offering unfair odds, it doesn't matter what the …Bookies make money by offering unfair odds, it doesn't matter what the sport whether it's Horse Racing, Football or the FOBT, you will not beat them long term. Roulette gives the bookies around a 3% edge, Horse racing and football 8%+. Slot machines 25%+. You might win the odd time but given enough bets those odds just multiply (that's why bookies love accumulators.)If you do hit lucky and go on a streak, your account will be restricted (been there when I was matched betting and hit a 'lucky' 20/1 shot when I wanted it to lose.)I'm not preaching as I've nothing against the odd flutter, I just know how the bookies make money.


I do agree with you I just mean the odds in terms of the lotto your odds would be better at the races then the £5 you spend on the pink slip don’t get me wrong I dabble in both or I used to anyways I know overall it’s all against the player so to get out early is best and not chase the losses.
Sonic_Rahman10/03/2020 18:41

So quick update thank you all for the advice I’ve managed to win a a good a …So quick update thank you all for the advice I’ve managed to win a a good amount today at the races and have taken out my initial amount will be using the rest to gamble as now that I’ve got the win I’m pretty much happy and have lost the taste for it I won’t be chasing any loses and plan to stop soon as I’ve lost the the remaining amount so thank you all again I think I just needed to win and that’s what was frustrating me.


this is the wrong approach. and it is what makes people continue to gamble. they never know when to call it a day. if you win then you want to try your luck and ride on your run of luck. if you lose, you want to win back what you have lost.

if i were you, i would quit right now. quit on a high and feel the comfort that you have won the money and can bank it without any possible loss of the winnings. use the winnings to treat yourself or someone else and let that be your last memory of gambling.

even if you win gambling, long term it will lead to a miserable life, both for yourself and your family.
mutley110/03/2020 21:15

this is the wrong approach. and it is what makes people continue to …this is the wrong approach. and it is what makes people continue to gamble. they never know when to call it a day. if you win then you want to try your luck and ride on your run of luck. if you lose, you want to win back what you have lost.if i were you, i would quit right now. quit on a high and feel the comfort that you have won the money and can bank it without any possible loss of the winnings. use the winnings to treat yourself or someone else and let that be your last memory of gambling.even if you win gambling, long term it will lead to a miserable life, both for yourself and your family.


I do agree with you but I’ve taken out my initial amount risked and I’ve taken £800 winnings out for myself the rest of the winnings I’ve just placed on bets that are very unlikely to win and that would be the end of it I don’t plan on trying to win anything more it’s just to test my luck if I win again great if I don’t il be walking away satisfied with what I’ve won already.
Sonic_Rahman10/03/2020 21:20

I do agree with you but I’ve taken out my initial amount risked and I’ve ta …I do agree with you but I’ve taken out my initial amount risked and I’ve taken £800 winnings out for myself the rest of the winnings I’ve just placed on bets that are very unlikely to win and that would be the end of it I don’t plan on trying to win anything more it’s just to test my luck if I win again great if I don’t il be walking away satisfied with what I’ve won already.


when i was little, i used to put coins in the arcade machines when we went to the seaside and i found that although i may win, i will ultimately lose all the winnings sooner or later as your luck never lasts and as you lose you feel gutted and want to claw back the loss by putting more money in. it is a horrible feeling and i would leave the arcade feeling dejected and it would spoil the day out at the seaside. i stopped doing it after a while and although i still went around the arcade and looked at the machines (in fact i still do now as an adult whenever i go to the seaside!) i never ever put any more money into the machines. i know that if i start i would not be able to stop and although they are only small coins the amount can mount up and the feeling of losing is far more terrible than the feeling of winning.

if you have an addictive personality you should stay away from anything that may cause you to become addicted. if you want to try your luck then stick some money into premium bonds. that will test your luck just the same and is much safer and less addictive than the arcade machines, the races or online gambling.
Bargainhead10/03/2020 17:00

Not just gambling, alcohol and drugs are the same... what people are …Not just gambling, alcohol and drugs are the same... what people are calling addiction is the buzz they get from one of the activities mentioned, People say it’s an illness and there addicted is just an excuse to do what they want..i’m Totally not knocking people who do any of these activities, just don’t call it addiction and they can’t help it.. you can choose what you want to do... society now just puts labels on people and this just gives them an excuse to carry on “it’s not my fault I’m an addict”. Yes it is you chose to do it in the first place...


Yes but addicts behave very differently, addictions exist even when people don't sympathise
I consider myself a pretty deep thinker (which is why I mire myself in anxiety sometimes) but being asked by a therapist, what do you do to soothe yourself? actually really stumped me. Maybe nowadays it's comfort food (though I do fast, as meds were making me put weight on - I was always tiny - so I have an element of control over it)....but my clumsily-made point is, addicts are people who are trying to distract or soothe underlying emotional problems.

I saw this in my mum's best friend who was an alcoholic, but she was lonely, very needy emotionally (she couldn't cope with anxiety well either, a bit like myself) and surrounded herself with fellow drinkers who overstayed their welcome, people who stole from her, abused her vulnerable nature. Her on/off partner was even worse - but I saw the very sensitive, kind, intelligent, warm hearted, witty person underneath. It was a real tragedy as she died in her early 50s.

If you don't face those head-on, you will continue to be lost in the cycle and at the mercy of your impulses, and that's no way for anyone to live. There's a slight tone of denial in Sonic_Rahman's responses, which means it may take reaching rock-bottom to get that reality check - and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

You've got to be self-aware, and face some difficult realisations, to get better.
louiselouise10/03/2020 22:32

I consider myself a pretty deep thinker (which is why I mire myself in …I consider myself a pretty deep thinker (which is why I mire myself in anxiety sometimes) but being asked by a therapist, what do you do to soothe yourself? actually really stumped me. Maybe nowadays it's comfort food (though I do fast, as meds were making me put weight on - I was always tiny - so I have an element of control over it)....but my clumsily-made point is, addicts are people who are trying to distract or soothe underlying emotional problems.I saw this in my mum's best friend who was an alcoholic, but she was lonely, very needy emotionally (she couldn't cope with anxiety well either, a bit like myself) and surrounded herself with fellow drinkers who overstayed their welcome, people who stole from her, abused her vulnerable nature. Her on/off partner was even worse - but I saw the very sensitive, kind, intelligent, warm hearted, witty person underneath. It was a real tragedy as she died in her early 50s.If you don't face those head-on, you will continue to be lost in the cycle and at the mercy of your impulses, and that's no way for anyone to live. There's a slight tone of denial in Sonic_Rahman's responses, which means it may take reaching rock-bottom to get that reality check - and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.You've got to be self-aware, and face some difficult realisations, to get better.


Well put.
davewave10/03/2020 22:10

Yes but addicts behave very differently, addictions exist even when people …Yes but addicts behave very differently, addictions exist even when people don't sympathise


I understand what your trying to say, but all people are doing by labelling it addictions is giving people who have no self control an excuse. Everyone has freewill, the urge for that extra drink gets to much or putting another pound in the slot machine for that chance of winning, it’s a high the same as people who take drugs. It is there choice to do it, it’s not addiction it’s lack of self control. Society needs to stop pandering to them...
Bargainhead11/03/2020 06:11

I understand what your trying to say, but all people are doing by …I understand what your trying to say, but all people are doing by labelling it addictions is giving people who have no self control an excuse. Everyone has freewill, the urge for that extra drink gets to much or putting another pound in the slot machine for that chance of winning, it’s a high the same as people who take drugs. It is there choice to do it, it’s not addiction it’s lack of self control. Society needs to stop pandering to them...


Compulsive gambling, also called gambling disorder, is the uncontrollable urge to keep gambling despite the toll it takes on your life. Gambling means that you're willing to risk something you value in the hope of getting something of even greater value.

Gambling can stimulate the brain's reward system much like drugs or alcohol can, leading to addiction. If you have a problem with compulsive gambling, you may continually chase bets that lead to losses, hide your behavior, deplete savings, accumulate debt, or even resort to theft or fraud to support your addiction.

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