I Will Survive the morning after ............... !!

18 replies
Found 22nd Jun 2008
I Will Survive the morning after ............... !!
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The Drinking Song (to be sung to the tune of "I Will Survive")



At first I was afraid I was petrified,
By the ugly person that was lying by my side,
I would've drunk a little less,
I would've tried to keep my head,
If I'd known for just one second you'd assault me in your bed...

I tried to go,
walk out the door,
But you've been sitting on my legs and I can't feel them anymore,
And now you're sitting on my face, my nose has vanished - not a trace
I only hope that you're big knickers aren't made of liquorice lace...

I want to go,
I've got to leave,
Before your crinkly wrinkly body makes me bend over and heave,
I only hope that no one saw me walking home with such a butt,
Your horrid hairy nostrils they look like a septic cut,
I can't believe,
I'm lying here,
It's all cos of that blasted evil drink that we call beer,

You can keep your old beer goggles,
somehow I must have been blind
To mistake that hoover dam for a sexy young behind...

Please let me go,
I'm getting scared,
There's nothing I can do to stop those boomers from being bared,
I think that I must have been mad,
God, what made me want to alter
With thighs that look like Tesco bags I've just filled up with water,

It's time to go,
run out the door,
Now started hinting they want sex on their dirty lino floor,
I don't think there's anything worse then the al-co-hol-lics curse,
But this time that's it, I quit,
I can't take more of this s*** !!!

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18 Comments

ha ha good

very good :-D

Original Poster

[CENTER]& Here's the Driving test one, sung to the same tune.
(From the old Weetabix advert )[/CENTER]

[CENTER][SIZE=5][COLOR=sienna]First, I was afraid,[/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=5][COLOR=sienna]I was petrified.[/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=5][COLOR=sienna]She's failed ten times already[/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=5][COLOR=sienna]This is suicide.[/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=5][COLOR=sienna]I should have used the steering lock,[/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=5][COLOR=sienna]I would have thrown away the key,[/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=5][COLOR=sienna]If I'd known for just one second[/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=5][COLOR=sienna]She'd resit her test with me.[/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=5][COLOR=sienna]OK, now go.[/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=5][COLOR=sienna]Watch that car door![/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=5][COLOR=sienna]Don't turn around here.[/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=5][COLOR=sienna]Ease your foot up off the floor.[/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=5][COLOR=sienna]Weren't you the one who said[/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=5][COLOR=sienna]You couldn't hear me cry?[/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=5][COLOR=sienna]Do you think I'd mumble?[/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=5][COLOR=sienna]Do you think I'd really want to die?[/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=5][COLOR=sienna]Oh no, not I.[/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=5][COLOR=sienna]I will survive.[/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=5][COLOR=sienna]As long as I've had Weetabix,[/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=5][COLOR=sienna]I'll get them all to drive.[/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=5][COLOR=sienna]I've got four more tests to do[/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=5][COLOR=sienna]Looks like they haven't got a clue.[/COLOR][/SIZE]
[SIZE=5][COLOR=sienna]But I'll survive ![/COLOR][/SIZE][/CENTER]

These are great keep them coming

Oh snowtiger - Sunday morning, the sun is out and the birds are singing merrily, how could you??

Original Poster

Morning Chesso, ................Passing the time :roll: really wanting a bath !! ............Just sitting here waiting for my OH to finish putting the new floor down in my bathroom (just Vinyl .. ) .. he's only been up there for 3 hours now (yawn) God knows why he's taking so long :? it's only a small room with bath,sink & loo .. maybe he's fallen asleep :whistling:
How are you on this bright sunny Sunday ?

Original Poster

[CENTER]http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/rma/lowres/rman889l.jpg[/CENTER]

Original Poster

http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/rjo0827l.jpg

Original Poster

[CENTER]http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/pbe0052l.jpg[/CENTER]

Original Poster

[CENTER]http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/cgo/lowres/cgon120l.jpg[/CENTER]

Original Poster

[CENTER]http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/mba/lowres/mban1452l.jpg[/CENTER]

Original Poster

[CENTER]http://web.ukonline.co.uk/thursday.handleigh/images/jokes/beer-ugly-men.jpg[/CENTER]

Original Poster

[CENTER]http://www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/epa1779l.jpg[/CENTER]

Original Poster

[CENTER]http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2067/2430841601_d1312c0c41.jpg[/CENTER]

http://i307.photobucket.com/albums/nn295/amityjohnson/joke.jpg

snowtiger;2365776

Morning Chesso, ................Passing the time :roll: really wanting a … Morning Chesso, ................Passing the time :roll: really wanting a bath !! ............Just sitting here waiting for my OH to finish putting the new floor down in my bathroom (just Vinyl .. ) .. he's only been up there for 3 hours now (yawn) God knows why he's taking so long :? it's only a small room with bath,sink & loo .. maybe he's fallen asleep :whistling: How are you on this bright sunny Sunday ?



I'm pretty good thank you. Washing blowing on the line - always makes me feel as if I've achieved a really good thing.
Cartoons are giving me a giggle - like the 'Sexual Chemistry Kit' - being a science teacher and all that!!
Bathrooms have very tricky corners and it takes ages to cut carefully around and then the blinking vinyl starts to split and the smaller the room the worse it is because you can't manouvre. Nightmare. I gather that you didn't offer to help?

Original Poster

chesso;2366517

I'm pretty good thank you. Washing blowing on the line - always makes me … I'm pretty good thank you. Washing blowing on the line - always makes me feel as if I've achieved a really good thing.Cartoons are giving me a giggle - like the 'Sexual Chemistry Kit' - being a science teacher and all that!!Bathrooms have very tricky corners and it takes ages to cut carefully around and then the blinking vinyl starts to split and the smaller the room the worse it is because you can't manouvre. Nightmare. I gather that you didn't offer to help?


Yes agreed it is very tricky .............. Oh Chesso, if only you knew ! I offered to help................I offered to do it in the first place ! .. but you know what that 'old masculine ego ' is like, hehe what would we do without them, eh .. ? !!

btw .... what's happened to Nightswimmer ? haven't seen him on here for a while .... any idea ?

snowtiger;2367214

Yes agreed it is very tricky .............. Oh Chesso, if only you knew ! … Yes agreed it is very tricky .............. Oh Chesso, if only you knew ! I offered to help................I offered to do it in the first place ! .. but you know what that 'old masculine ego ' is like, hehe what would we do without them, eh .. ? !!btw .... what's happened to Nightswimmer ? haven't seen him on here for a while .... any idea ?


I'm totally convinced!
Nightswimmer: I don't know. I'm certainly missing him, what with Liddle having gone again.
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